Dani-isms
Dani-ism: When Dani does odd things that normal society would shun but gets away with it because... Well... She's Dani.
Saw this man at the laundry matt. Thought I was in the presence of Bob Ross. Nearly cried. Good day.
SORA BURPED IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION. I FEEL IT DELICATELY DRAPING OVER MY SKIN. OH GOD WHY.
What I want for Christmas is a doodle of me as Satan on a throne with my all my hubbies next to me.
Weird things to do.
Go with my little sister to get her nipples pierced. Check.
I've decided that I am Dannibal the Cannibal
So South Africa gets to see Eminem, but Dani doesn't get to see Eminem? What kind of bull shit is this..
In our house, if something goes missing and we absolutely cannot find it, or we find something that belongs to apparently no one, I've decided that the Doctor came and took or left something.
Happy Turkey day! This year I'm thankful that I have enough sanity not to shove my family into the garbage disposal.
It also helps that I don't have a garbage disposal.
I'm also thankful for the plot twist of my whole family being under the same roof at once. Weird, but thankful.
Thankful to all my wonderful friends that convince me that murder is a terrible idea.
Thankful to my pets for cuddles when I need them.
And finally, thank you to Voltaire for giving me a wonderful lullaby
Two of the worst insults I can currently think of:
You're so arrogant, Tony Stark is embarrassed for you.
And
You're more pathetic than Steve Rogers trying to program Jarvis.
Sooo... Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Me, my sisters, my brother, my mom, and my dad are all going to be there.
My mom and dad are currently hanging out, laughing in the living room.
...
My family is supporting each other with love and kindness.
...
Back away slow. This isn't real.
Me: I love Death.
Person: Are you some sort of weird goth kid?
Me: What? No.
Person: then why do you love death?
Me: Have you SEEN the guy in a suit!?
Watching Say yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids.
Just so we're all clear, if anyone is participating in my make believe wedding.
EVERYONE is wearing a suit. No exceptions. Only two people in dresses are me and my imaginary wife (if she wants to wear one.)
Edit: Kilts are acceptable.
I think I have the best attitude towards being fat.
Me: Look! It jiggles! *jigglejiggle*
Me: *pokes and squishes stomach for the next 2 minutes*
Me: OMG MY ARMS! They are squishy! *stretches out arms*
Me:
Me:
Me: OMG I HAVE WINGS.
Oh Casmas tree, oh Casmas tree... From perdition I have raised thee!
What the fox say?
Nothing. It's dead.
Peebles and Fredrich
Aka
The Fox and the Hellhound.
Who says gay parents don't make great penguins?
Disney should make a movie with a lesbian princess.... But the story should have nothing to do with them not being able to be together. And one should be semi girly but kinda tom boy and the other is the princess. I think the "prince" should be a charming, cocky, romantic little shit that's just a regular person, and the princess should be a bored, needs something new in her life kinda chick. And she's going throw the city, making her monthly runs around to see her subject, when her horse bucks her off and she lands in the arms of the "prince" who just goes "you don't need to throw yourself at me, love." And then cute bullshit happens.
Why are Irish Knit Aran sweaters so god damn expensive?
Changed my mind. I'd want to have a cosplay wedding.
Plot twist!
Everyone has to dress in the suit version of who they are.
Example:
If you are cosplaying Dean Winchester. A mostly suit with a leather jacket is acceptable. A bloodstained suit is also acceptable.
If you are cosplaying the Cheshire cat. A varied purple suit is acceptable. As is cats ears and tails.
If you are cosplaying Daryl Dixon. A tuxedo is what you would wear, but you'd tear off the sleeves and carry a cross bow.
Welp, at least one good thing came of this. We now know that I can function like a normal person when provided coffee and lacking almost 39 hours of sleep, and being able to get up and function after only 5.
In the zombie apocalypse, you'll be thanking me.
Dani is still an adorable little impending super nova of rage.
Angry. Angry. Angry. Angry. Angry.
I need a release. A dark, angry release that will clear my mind and help me not slit throats.
So I'm probably being haunted. Damnit. Can't lost souls just leave me alone? A Devil has enough shit to deal with.
.... Dani put steak on the counter.
Dani goes over 10 minutes later.
Steak is no longer on the counter.
Mini weiner dog is far to small to get on counter.
...
The cat at my steak.
Random facts you probably didn't know about Dani.
Dani is very weirdly attracted to fashionable skinny dark skinned girls with big afros and hoop earrings.
My New Years Resolution.
Do some freaky paranormally shit. I'm bringing salt and Iron.
Little sister: Dani! I think an asian is hot!
Me: THIS NEVER HAPPENS. SHOW ME HIM.
Sister: *shows*
Me: lol he's not even that asian.
Sister: Yes he is! He lives in Japan!!!
And suddenly we're reliving Soras "look he's Irish!" "No. He's asian. He just lives in Ireland."
Sora: How do we go through so many spoons?
Me: WE DON'T EVEN USE SPOONS.
Kiri: he sold you his soul didn't he?
Me: Why else is he always mentioning Satan? You think white boy got to be that good by himself?
Me: DOESNT MY HUBBY LOOK GREAT IN SUITS!? He gets his style from meee
Kiri: I didn't doubt it for a second.
Me: I love when my baby listens to me<3
I'm cold. Not because it's cold out, but because after leaving the theater, this was me.
Here's my heart, Peter Jackson. Oh, you can have my soul too. And my feels, and my emotion, you know? Why don't you just take my frontal lobe and EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME HUMAN. CAUSE I DON'T NEED IT.
Happy Turkey day! This year I'm thankful that I have enough sanity not to shove my family into the garbage disposal.
It also helps that I don't have a garbage disposal.
I'm also thankful for the plot twist of my whole family being under the same roof at once. Weird, but thankful.
Thankful to all my wonderful friends that convince me that murder is a terrible idea.
Thankful to my pets for cuddles when I need them.
And finally, thank you to Voltaire for giving me a wonderful lullaby.
EDIT: I have a garbage disposal.
Two of the worst insults I can currently think of:
You're so arrogant, Tony Stark is embarrassed for you.
And
You're more pathetic than Steve Rogers trying to program Jarvis.
Me: I love Death.
Person: Are you some sort of weird goth kid?
Me: What? No.
Person: then why do you love death?
Me: Have you SEEN the guy in a suit!?
Sooo... Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Me, my sisters, my brother, my mom, and my dad are all going to be there.
My mom and dad are currently hanging out, laughing in the living room.
...
My family is supporting each other with love and kindness.
...
Back away slow. This isn't real.
Watching Say yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids.
Just so we're all clear, if anyone is participating in my make believe wedding.
EVERYONE is wearing a suit. No exceptions. Only two people in dresses are me and my imaginary wife (if she wants to wear one.)
EDIT: It'll be a cosplay wedding and everyone has to dress in a suit according to their character. AKA Dean Winchester would come in a half assed suit with a leather jacket. Loki would be a classy ass mofo. Daryl would be in a suit without the sleeves.
Me: *walking through the food isles of Walmart*
Random older lady: *trying to balance boxes of food in arms and running towards cart* Oop! Oop! *drops things*
Me: *kneels down and picks up her dropped items because damnit if I'm not a dapper bastard* Here you are. *charming ass smile*
Random Older Lady: Oh! Thank you so much!
Kiri: *turns corner into isle* Awww are you being a good citizen Dani?
Random Older Lady: Yes he is. He's being a very good citizen.
Me: *beams like the god damn sun*
I was so excited, I just wanted to jump and freezeframe while yelling "Yeah!"
5.) Dani wants to be an actress really bad but, like most things Dani wants to do, she has no idea where to start.
3.) Dani hates pants. Can't stand them.
1.) When Dani sees/hears a CSI Miami joke, she is compelled to find a pair of sunglasses and tell people.
You don't have to love Eminem. You don't have to like him. You don't have to like his music. I will still communicate and befriend you even if we have a difference of opinion. What I don't particularly stand for, is when someone tries to tell me he's a sucky rapper and ICP is better. Why?
Because you're wrong.
Me Gusta the Curvy.
Mom: *talking to little sister on the phone* Deven, I need you to lend Dani your car. She's going out with a friend tonight.
Deven: Are you kidding me?
Mom: No, now listen I-
Deven: No seriously. Are you kidding me?
Mom: No but I-
Deven: Do you know how many times Dani let me borrow her car? Of course she can use mine!
Me: *looks away because I'm a man and can't let people see my man tears.*
The fashion story of Krystine and my lives:
*walks around in boxers and dykey clothes or clothes where no fucks are given*
*walking around stores going* I WANT THE PRETTY DRESS.
Kiri: I thoroughly enjoy this song. However if we could just burn the outfits and unemploy the wardrobe department... Ugh. The terrible... Not suits. If there is anything I have learned from Daniella Diaz its that kpop is full of not suits. I still want the neon pink one sorry Dani.
*instert kpop music video here*
Me: The pink one is forgiven because (as much as it vexes me to say) it IS a suit.
WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE THOSE
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WEARING SHORTS WITH A DRESS SHIRT, JACKET AND TIE
WHAT IS THAT PATTERN EVEN
LEOPARD PRINT
LEOPARD PRINT
REALLY?
OHGOD THE TRIBLIES
PLAID
A PLAID SUIT-
BLACK DRESS SHIRT AND PLAID PANTS!?
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
FUCKING G?
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE G MOTHER FUCKING DRAGON?
BITCH YOU CAN'T PULL OFF A PLAID SUIT LET ALONE A PINK ONE
WHY THE FUCK DOESN'T YOUR JACKET/SWEATER REACH THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHIRT?
MAGENTA?
MAFUCKINGGENTA
!?!?
YOU AREN'T G YOU HO.
OH GOD THE SEQUINS
SEQUIN PANTS!?
GET THIS LOVELY JAZZ FEEL OUT OF THIS SONG
YOU BITCHES DON'T DESERVE TO WEAR TOP HATS
BROWN SUIT JACKET WITH A BLUE TIE? NOT ON MY WATCH BITCH
Kiri: Oh god. I couldn't even breathe let alone Kaoru*. Thank you. I've needed that all day.
(Kaoru: a dying seal noise of a laugh)
Me: OH SWEET MOTHER OF FEATHERY TAP DANCING CHRIST THAT ISNT EVEN BROWN ITS BURNT ORANGE
THAT LOOKS LIKE A LACY MOTHER FUCKING LAB COAT
WHAT ARE YOU
DR. SEXY?
BITCH I DON'T SEE NO COWBOY BOOTS
STRIPED PANTS?!
I JUST-
Seriously. K-pop companies should hire me as a fashion director whenever anyone says suits should be involved.
Director: So we were thinking about suits..
Me: Okay. Let me see them.
Director: The boys picked them out.
Me: Oh god... Well, trot them out..
Director: *beings pulling out the clothes rack*
Me: *pulls out flamethrower and sends them to the ashy grave in which they belong*
Director:
Me:
Director:
Me:
Director: I take that as a no.
I may not be perfect, but damn, am I fabulous.
*tom kissing trophies* That awkward moment when you're jealous of a trophy.
Me: I'm not jealous. Cause I'm his next trophy. Meaning HIS TROPHY WIFE.
Photo
Flipping through the radio station cause I'm feeling classical. I land on something with violins and listen and suddenly I realize...
Its the classical instrumental version of Enter Sandman.
I proceeded to jam in my car and make everyone else at the stop light uncomfortable.
Starbucks cashier: name please?
Me: Name's Crowley.
Her: *pauses like she's wondering if I'm in the fandom*
Me: *looks around like nothings wrong*
Her: ... Okay.
No Christians. The Black Plague isn't a sport
Reasons I cried today:
I heard Real Slim Shady on the radio.
It was like nostagia slapped me in the face and made me it's bitch
What Dani did today.
1.) Drank two actual mugs of espresso.
2.) drove Sora to work. *throws confetti*
3.)
4.) Went to the animal shelter
4.) fed and watered some kitties.
Other4.) Squealed cause it was pitbull day
4x.) Talked to one of the vet assistance about possibly helping the vet so I may get experience
5.) SNACK BREAK
6.) Went home and tried to nap.
7.) Got super comfy in bed.
7 1/2.) Espresso kicked in
8.) Called 3 colleges and actually talked to people. Like real people. About learning and shit.
9.) drew the fuck out of everything
9inprogress.) Uploading said art
10.) Had another cup and a half of espresso.
11.) Flirted with myself in the mirror
12.) ate cheese
I find comfort in knowing that if Daryl Dixon were to fall in love with me, he's love me for the rest of his life.
So apparently they are going to trial for a case on a boy who was executed in 1944 for killing two white girls, because they suspect there was a wrongful accusation... *sigh*
He's dead.
The two girls are dead.
This isn't going to fix anything.
Okay, so I'm getting really annoyed with people fighting so desperately for equality. Don't get me wrong, I want shit to be equal just as much as the next person. That being said, there is no reason to be attacking Walt Disney for being sexist. Let's name the reasons:
1.) The guy's dead. Like dead dead. Like has been dead for fucking ever. He doesn't care that you think he was sexist. He's dead.
2.) He lived and died in a time where women were thought of as less. He was RAISED in that level of thinking that almost everyone had. You can't fault him for thinking that, just like you can't fault someone for being raised on pepsi and not coke.
3.) He's dead. Did I already mention that? Well still. Fucking dead.
Suck it up and deal with it. If the workers there are being dicks and not letting women work in the animation rooms, sue them. But don't start a goddamned pity frenzy because "This dead guy did this thing back when I wasn't alive and I don't like it."
Me: Two mini mooses. Jared, you are banned from making your poor wife suffer like that anymore.
Kiri: LOL ILY watch they'll make a girl and she's gonna be super petite like Gen. However she's gonna have the worlds best defense force. XD
Me: Two brother mooses and Daddy Moose
Mini Gen: *sniffle* Daddy? Daddy, Mike broke up with me...
Jared, Thomas, and Shepard: *looks up and puts on antlers* Bring us the sacrifice.
Jensen: *breaks down the door with an ax* I just heard the antlers come on. What happened?
Jared: Mike broke her heart.
Jensen: *gets acorn grenades* I'll gather the forces
SUPERNATURAL AVENGERS ASSEMBLE.
Kiri: This. This is why I love you so...
Dani: Gackt, you are Regina George
Kiri: What is air?!
Dani: air is that thing people use to breathe and forget when Dani starts talking
Okay no
I'm a fucking genius
So we haven't touched on Adam in, oh I don't know. A million goddamned years in Supernatural, right?
I figured out how to get me in Supernatural.
Dani (who've I decided to consider the name BaeMonty for) brings him back and takes care of him on earth because when Michael and Lucifer were shoved into the pit, Dani was released. And they find her lost or something cause her adn Adam got in a fight and Dean's like "So whats wrong?" *both having a beer on the impala*
Bae: It's my dad mostly... He's the fucking devil.
Dean: *chuckles* I doubt he's that bad, kid..
Bae: No, like seriously. Before I moved out, my house was Hell.
Dean:*shakes head* Trust me, I know about deadbeat dads... You want a lift back home?
Bae: Thats nice of you.. Thanks. *goes to the apartment, where Adam is there worried sick* Bae I-... Dean?
Dean:.... What the actual- *looks at Bae* ... Who are you?
Bae:... Baemonty. And this is Adam Winchester. Your brother
Dean: How did you- ... Oh fuck no.
Bae: *black eyes* Seriously. The "my dad's the devil" didn't give it away? Not the "my house is hell"? Nothing? Wow.
Me: Sam: Godamnit Dean! Dynamite is NOT, I repeat IS NOT a cooking utensil!
Voice: don't listen to him
Kiri: Dean: Don't worry. *grabs more dynamite * I won't. We still gotta few chickens left to cook.
Me: Voice: And steak
I make dynamite steak
Kiri: Dean: STEAK
I wana do themed Halloween parties. I have one for Supernatural.
The entire music list is songs from the show
When Heat of the Moment comes on, I come out screaming IT'S TUESDAY. and serve pig and a poke. Who ever is dressed as Dean has to find a way to pretend to kill themselves
That was my second plan. Flambe something and scream "MARY'S ON FIRE!"
*thrashy noises*
Whoever is sam has to run into the shower and start crying and scream "TODAY IS TUESDAY AND YESTERDAY WAS TUESDAY TOOOO"
So my friends are real into asian music. They like this band called XJapan. A few members of the band died and the only one alive that I know of is named Yoshiki. One of them that died was name Hide and he blames himself for his death. He is filthy fucking rich and has an excruciatingly large house in LA. It has a bathroom thats huge with a shit ton of counterspace. You'll need this info.
Yoshiki, baby. Your hair isn't that pretty anym-
Yoshiki: I LIKE TO BE PRETTY
You know sometimes he dresses up like hide (cause japan and make up)
And talks to himself in the mirror
And Toshi (I assume thats the one still alive) just comes in and watches cause it's too pathetic to interrupt
Me: Yup. Ima be a lolita maker
Kiri: And I'll be your faithful assistant
Because I can only sew straight lines.
Me: YUS! I shall call it....
EVERYONES LOLITAAAAA
With all the extra A's too.
Kiri: o(*^▽^*)o
Me: Or
ALL DEH KAWAII
Kiri: And I'll be THAT white girl. XD
And constantly yell kawaii
XD
Me: YES.
Kiri: I know how to make tons of cute jewelry. I just need the supplies
People will come into the shop and you'll be at the front desk and scream "welcome to ALL DEH KAWAIIIIII How may I help you
Most of which you can get on Betsy for pretty cheap
Me: I really wana do this now
Kiri: OMG plz
And I can wear pretty things all the time
Me: All the pretty! It would be partly custom too cause not everyone is asian
Kiri: Yes! Custom sizes.
Me: Fuckyeah!
Kiri: If we don't make their size as part of our usual collection we can say ' don't see your size? Ask about fabulous sizing!' (Aka custom sizing)
Me:Because we know how it feels to be sad cause you have to custom size something.
Sora named her steampunk character Geniveve Isabella WinterCogg.
Bitch face goes "that's a terrible name. I mean I named some of my characters some ridiculous names but that..."
Because she's never "known someone named Geniveve. She knows its a name but its over the top."
Over the top would be if she named her character Dreadzillian Amontecillo Wormiseiner.
When creating a character for a specific culture/world, you style their name after that world. Its like if someone named their lord of the rings elf prince Alfred Hank.
Or someones all japanese lolita girl Agnus Linclon.
Steam punk world. Steampunk name.
You can't just name your Japanese character Marco Polo cause you can. It don't work like dat.
This is my Japanese character from the futal era Japan named Marco Polo because he lives in Ireland and likes italian food and boats
Sora: *talking to bitch face* The new video Kyo did is weirder than anything Dir en grey have ever done.
Me: BULL SHIT. YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL ME THAT SHIT WAS WEIRDER THAN OBSCURE. FUCK YOU.
I KNOW LITTLE TO NOTHING ABOUT DIR EN GREY. BUT I DO KNOW THAT OBSCURE WINS THE WEIRD FACTOR BY A GOD DAMNED MILE.
I made a song for Shinya. *ahem*
I'm a valley girl! In a valley wooorrrld.
Gackt is plastic
I'm fantastic!
Kyo can brush my hair
Die undresses me everywheeerree
Asain nations
Mucho masturbation!
Come on Shinya let me in ya
So anyone who knows me well knows that suits are my thing. I know a good looking suit when I see one, and I know what should be burned. My friend Kiri accidentally adopted my taste in suits. This happened.
*sees the pictures of Jared and Jensen at the awards(
Me: Can we just talk about Jensen for a but?
bit*
Or a butt lol
But in all seriousness
Yes, Jared has the standard suit that I love.
Good on you Jared
BUT
Jesen.
Kiri: Uh oh.
Me: Jensen, baby.
Kiri: I like his bowtie
Me: You pull off that english cut choir boy styled suit so well
Kiri: I don't even like bowties
waitwhat
Me: I love the bow tie
Kiri: Omg I thought you were going to tear him apart
Me: He looks like he went through his closet and panicked cause He didn't know what to wear cause he knew Jared would look better than him anyway
And he called Misha and was like "Just put on the one I got you."
And Jensen's like "but... I'll look too formal."
And Misha was like "Trust me".
Gackt is Regina George. Plastic.
I was trying to sing that song by G to Sora and ishe didn't know what I was talking about so I went "DADADA BWAH DADADA BWAH DADADADADADADADADA BWAH"
Can I just have all the Avengers and Loki? Thor is my foreign fling, Clint's my chill with a play video games and be a dude with/fun fling, Tony's my Rich Man buysmeasmallcountry fling, Captain's my date and then he gets all neverous gentleman fling, Banner is my smart sweet fling, Natasha is my "Hunny Im- *slams into the wall for intense love session* *hours later* ... So. How was your daaaay? Fling, and Loki's my husband.
*talking about Black Butler*
Kiri: Almost everyone he encounters is a damn creep
Me:*dead*
Kiri: For real.
Shinigami demons angels psychos hellhounds
Its like Victorian supernatural Pedro version
Me: Dat boi needs jesus
Kiri: Pedo not pedro
Me:ole?
Claude is now Pedro
(Kiri and I'd on going joke Yoshiki rp)
(Dani)
Me: Yoshiki, I need to know. Why the fuck do you need all that space?
Yoshiki: ..... Cause hookers and stu- FUCK YOU I LIKE TO FEEL PRETTY OKAY
(Kiri
When he shrugs imma push the girls up lean over and whisper in my best attempt at sexy (which totally isn't) Could be me. XD
Oh snap there kiri goes being a ho again
(Dani)
And then when he invites you in you just lock yourself in the bathroom and scream "MINE NOW BITCH.
(Kiri)
Oh god yes!
It'd go just like that.
(Dani)
After three hours of trying to get you out he just sighs and goes to bed only to find me curled up in his pillows and before he can say anything, Ill just smile and nuzzle the pillow and go "you can be the big spoon."
(Kiri)
Yoshiki: *pawing at my clothes*
Me: Let's start in the bedroom and work work our way around.
Him: *leads to room *
Me: I'm just going to use the bathroom really quick. ;D locks self in the bathroom and screams "MINE NOW BITCH.
I feel like this is a comic waiting to happen
(Dani)
Yoshiki: D: what the actual fuck. No, you said you'd sleep with me.
Me: *peeks out of bedroom* in her defense, she did say COULD be...
(Kiri)
Me: Could be me! And the longer you interrupt my bath time the longer it takes for me to get my nerve up. *taking and posting selfies*
(Dani)
Yoshiki: No this isn't even fair!
Me: Awww does somebody gots a widdle boner? Awwwwww c'mere and let daddy fix it for you.
Yoshiki: ......
(Kiri)
*hasn't even taken bath yet, still waiting on silence *
Me: Be nice Dani. I MIGHT want that boner later.
(Dani)
Me: no worries, I'll just fix it for now.
Yoshiki: How the fuck did you get into my house.
Me: ... Um.. dude. You have windows.
(Kiri(
Me: Lots of em. Think we didn't scope this shit out before hand? Come on.
(Dani)
Me: You think we're just some dumb fangirls? Please bitch. You ain't Tater Toshi, a tiny drumming Jesus and you DEFINITATELY ain't no chibi prophet
(Kiri)
And I'm just playing with remotes like: Oooh what's this button do? "Seriously bro. You're the one dumb enough to give ppl tours of your house and put it on the internet. Wasn't hard to find.
(Me:)
And I'm looking through his drawers like "the silver one makes the bathtub do the bubbly thing I think- HOLY SHIT HE HAS AN ENTIRE DRESSER OF CONDOMS.
(Kiri)
Me: OOOOH BUBBLES! Wow you really do need to get laid huh? I mean I didn't mean for this to be a pitty fuck. I mean I've had the hots for you since I was nine. But damn... I pitty... Nope not gonna say it. Just let me take my damn bath then I'll take care of your damn boner. JESUS
(Dani)
Me: Kiri, take your time in the bath, I'll give him the pity fuck because I know for a fact he's going to start crying before my panties even come off. That way he's not a little bitch when you're done.
Yoshiki: NO I WON'T.
Me: oh yeah?
Yoshiki: YEAH.
Me: Hide died and you weren't there.
Yoshiki:
Me:
Yoshiki:
Me:
Yoshiki: *ugly sobbing:
Me: *cuddles* there there...
Kiri)
Me: Ouch. My heart. *sinks into tub*
Me: You really had to bring hide into it? You are cold lol
(Dani)
Me: At least the bathtub is warm.
(Kiri)
Me: Very true. And bubbly. And there's a lovely music piece playing. I could get used to this.
(Dani)
Me: relax all you want dearie. He's still crying.
(Kiri)
Me: Okay! *wiggles toes and splashes like five year old* But if he wants sex he's gonna have to pull himself together.
(Dani)
Yoshiki: AND I WASN'T EVEN THERE AND HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK DEAD I JUST *blubbering:
Me: .... You might wana stay in there for 2 hours..
(Kiri)
Me: Oh god. Do you think its too much if I use his fluffy robe? It looks inviting?
(Dani)
Me: No, the fluffy robe works. I think he's probably just going to pounce you and clothes will just get in the way
(Kiri)
Me: Okay good. I'll be out in a second.
So apparently they are going to trial for a case on a boy who was executed in 1944 for killing two white girls, because they suspect there was a wrongful accusation... *sigh*
He's dead.
The two girls are dead.
This isn't going to fix anything.
Do you, Crowley. Take Dani Satan to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Crowley: I do... All night.
And do you, Dani Satan. Take Crowley to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Me: Oh yes... All day.
Then with the power invested in me, under the eyes of the dark lord herself, I now pronounce Husbands.
It feels real good to tell people that off is the general direction in which I'd like them to fuck.
Why is it that when you go to be the honest one and not the two face bitch, the person who you are trying to communicate with flips out?
Oh right.
Women are psychotic. Forgot about that part.
Me: Blueberry coated ribs.
Fuck.
Errbody.
Kiri: Blueberry coated ribs?
Me: baby back ribs with a blueberry sauce and rub
Kiri: Aren't you allergic to bluberry?
Me:Yes.
Kiri:...............
Me: They dare make my favorite things in the only food I cannot eat. They tease and torment Satan with a berry she cannot consume WELL I'LL SHOW THEM.
I'll show them all.
They.
Will.
Burn.
Everyone remind me. If I ever get an orange kitten, his name will be Felix.
Gather around, kids. Today we're going to talk about the denotation and connotation of "friendship".
friend·ship
ˈfrendˌSHip
noun
1.
the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.
But friendship has such deeper meaning that, obviously. Let me tell you what I think friendship is.
Friendship is going to a house and taking off your pants because you're at home. Friendship is finishing each other's sentences and dying of laughter when you do. Friendship is mishearing a word and that incident becomes a inside joke forever. Friendship is waiting months to see each other and going along like time never passed when you do. Friendship is never meeting, but when you finally do, it's like you really spent every day together. Friendship is remembering the important things. Whether those important things are your birthday or how perfectly you do a German accent is irrelevant. Friendship is cuddling through Disney movies AND hard times because you know you're going to cry either way. Friendship is having a connection with another human being in an unexplained way and becoming a parasite to each other because you know you'll support the other. Friendship is accepting and loving someone who isn't blood, because they are still family.
I've gained friends in so many different ways. I've gained friends from knowing only one anime. I gained friends from eating an entire bag of breakfast sausages together because hey, why not. I've gained friends by pelvic thrusting them. I've gained friends by going on the internet and only meeting them once. I've gained friends by dating them and breaking up but they are too important to lose. I've gained friends because I was friends with my teacher. I've gained friends from saying something witty to another friend. I've gained friends by biting and walking around on a leash. I've gained friends by walking into a house and announcing myself as Satan. I made friends by simply being me. In these situations, the people I made friends with kinda just looked over and said "Yup. I like this one. Keeping her."
I have people on my friends list, and those people are my family. These are people I know wouldn't stab me in the back. Some of these people, I've fought with countless times, and they wouldn't trade me for the world (no matter how obnoxious I am). Others never met me and only from talking decided that I would never get to leave their lives. There are people in my life that I've known for a very, very long time and have dropped me like a old dusty top hat because suddenly they don't like my realization that I like being me. So they gathered their troops of a handful of people who don't like me or don't know me and feed them lies so that they would feel important. But what they don't know is that even though they may have their two faced mercenaries, I have an army. An army of people that I know are loyal. That will not turn their back on me. They have twofacers and liars on their side. I have pirates and geniuses, snow leopards and spies, regular joes and british gents. I've got the people that I know would never sell me out or speak behind my back. And for all of you, I am thankful. Thank you for shining up a dusty tophat.
So it takes place in the victorian era and the princess is (not a brat but) adjusted to princess life where she gets what she wants. She's also cute and chubby. One day, she's out and about causing trouble and some how falls off of a building. In that moment, BaeMonty (the love interest who is a normal, slightly dykey girl who loves suits) sees her falling and catches her and goes "you don't have to fall for me, darling." And they become friends and are cute and the princess tells her parents and her parents are like "well, if that's what you want, go for it." The princess goes out in town and gathers the attention on the town and is like "townspeople! I have an announcement! I have decided to take a wife!" And she hops off her horse and goes to Bae and is like "BaeMonty Bathory, I will take you as my bride." And everyone's all gasping and happy and Bae just goes "... no. What? No." And everyones in shock. She kinda runs away and the princess follows and starts talking to her and is like "why wouldn't you want to marry me?" And bae looks off into the distance where a dark castle is and the princess goes "no. No way. You're in love with the witch? But she's evil and ugly!" And Bae glares and is like "maybe to you. But to me, she's beautiful and kind..." and the story goes on and its revealed that the witch takes the life force of people she loves and that love her back because she wants to live forever. If she doesn't, she'll disappear. So Bae is willing to die for her. Stuff happens and war is declared between the witch and the kingdom and Bae and the princess have to go to stop it. On the jounrey (which takes a few days) The two get closer and the princess is like "so why are you so willing to give up your life for her." And bae says "because I love her and she wants me too.." and the princess goes "but if she really loves you, she wouldn't want you to do that.." Fight scenes and explosions happen and the princess goes to fight the witch. Intense battle happens and the witch beats the princess, but the time where she has to take Bae's life is almost there, so she can live. Bae steps up and hugs her and says no. They talk and Bae says that she will always love her, but she wants to live too. The witch has lived so long and Bae had barely just begun. Its really sad and the witch goes "but I don't want to die... you'll forget me.." and Bae kisses her and says "I'll never forget you..." and the sun comes up and the witch turns into a pile of dust. Bae gathers the dust and goes with the princess back to the castle and they are heros and stuff and Bae buries the dust in the garden. And there's a time skip and the princess and Bae get married and it ends with a scene over the witches grave which they decorated and has beautiful flowers growing from it. THE END
How asians bands are described to me in a way I understand.
The Gazzett:
Mr humps railings, Mr nose diaper, Mr duck, and Mr I'm not gay.
Dir En Grey:
Bronx, Hick, Texas, Beverly Hills, and grumpy old man
Songs: The final, chihuahua song, and Asian song
One ok rock:
songs:
DOOP DOOP DOOP DOOP DOOP DOOP DOOOP DOOP SO SYMPATHETICALLY.
K-pop:
What the fuck are they wearing
omg what the fuck did they do to their hair and eyebrows
Lesbian Llama
g-dragon (aka THATS NOT A SUIT)
Yuzuru is the most precious thing to ever be in bejeweled nylon and ice skates.
I don't care,
If you're a bear, sir
Or a cat, or a dog, or a duck.
I just care
If you're aware, sir
That I don't give a fuck.
I am the Dr. Seuss of no fucks.
Olympic speedskater takes a selfie with Vladimir Putin. Tweets "i should have asked him to be my Valentine!"
Everyone flips their shit cause she was joking and the man she was joking about happened to be "the president of Russia who hates gay people"
... I'd ask Vladimir Putin to be my Valentine. Why are people who touchy?
Bad side about today: I punched myself in the face with my car.
Good side about today: IM GETTING AN ORANGE KITTEN
Good side about today: I made friends!
Bad side about today: I made friends..
I don't give hugs. I give squishes. They are better.
No seriously Dean. Who the blood fuck grabs handfuls of iron nails? That shit hurts. Use a goddamn spoon.
Um, Jo. Can we talk for a sec.
Jo: Are you giving me the last night on earth speech?
Dean: What? No, no... No.. If I was, would that.. Would that work?
Jo: .... No. If I'm spending my last night on earth I'm going to do it with a little thing I call self respect.
That entire scene. Why. The bloody hell. Would you not take that man into oblivion, last day or not?
Jane: That-... That's my boob,"
Loki: I'm aware.
Because people were asking...
How to play the Licence plate game:
Its a point system. First person to 100 points wins. The game lasts all day and only counts for plates you see physically that day.
1 point: A word/phrase that is legible. Example: "Love" "Im2tall"
2 points: A name.
3 points: A buggy with a buggy reference. Example: "Buggin" "Buggyluv" "Bugs"
4 points: A reference to something on the internet (meme or otherwise). Example: "Me Gusta" "Doge"
5 points: A reference to a fandom. Example "Shrlcked" "Dr 10" "Tardis"
10 points: A reference to a personal inside joke. Example: "Boujshwa" is one I saw today and this is a reference to a joke between Steff and myself.
Me: *walking through the hospital after dropping sora off in my polkadot jammies*
Random hospital man: It's 8 in the morning. Why are you still in your pajamas?
Me: Because the effort it takes to removes these clothes and put on adult outerwear requires effort that I am currently incapable. Good morning. *walks off*
Sora: What's the one thing native americans hated more than anything?
Me: White people?
Sora: ... Well, you're not wrong.
<he>
*watching a movie from 1995 that RDJ was in*
Me and sora: OMG HE'S SUCH A BABY
Me: *does math* wait... he was 30 in this. He was older than both of us.
Sora:
Me:
Sora:
Me:
Both if us: HE WAS SUCH A BABY.
"I have never met someone with as much hatred for the French language as Dani." -Kiri
And you never will.
Confession 2: I sometimes would rather be fat.
Confession 1:
I love the color pink.
Me: Brooding in my anger is probably not my best plan. Please someone come help me escape for a bit. *headdesk*
Kiri: *opens door, couch, and arms*
Me: *flops onto floor, drags self in like the fuckiing grudge, and cuddles*
Shay: You would have loved Yu~ki:
In terms of private clothing, Yu~ki says he doesn't like showy body things: "I like the clothing which has a casual cut. It's very beautiful. The point is the combination of lines and colors. I have 2 types of clothing: one is suits, and the other is second-hand clothing." As for shoes, Yu~ki says it depends on the clothing: "Basically, I like antique shoes which give off a warm feeling in terms of colors and material."
Me: Yup. Married
Supernatural: When are they going to lie?
The Walking Dead: When are they going to try?
Game of Thrones: When are they going to die?
Queer as Folk: WHEN THEY GON FUK
"I'm listening?"
Okay, has anyone else realized that Loki did this for his own psychotic amusement?
Like yes, we all laughed cause it was funny, but put yourself in the world for a moment. Thor just got knocked out stage left and Tony is too busy to listen to what Loki said. Take away the movie purposes for humor and think about how Loki is literally alone on a cliff, saying shit to make himself laugh. He’s up there chuckling and patting himself on the back going “That was a good one, I gotta remember to write that down.”
There is no one there to laugh with him. He’s psychotically making jokes with himself.
Dani-ism
Dani-ism 2
Dani-ism 3
Dani-ism 4
Dani-ism 5
Dani-ism 6
Dani-ism 7
Dani-ism 8
Stumble!