---

"Love....what is love?"

"Love is a complex emotion, that is supposed to be one of the strongest emotions you can ever feel...besides hate. But it is grossly over used, you see, Lilly. Love is simply an illusion, no one can truly comprehend it, so there for they can't Experience it."

"Oh....so...what is family?"

"....I don't know how to answer that."

"Are you me and daddy a family?"

"No...we are an illusion of a family..we smile and are civil when communicating, but that is all...we do not care for each other nor do we live together."

---

I was so young, I hardly understood the lesson my mother was teaching me...it was probably the only lesson she ever taught me too...and the last time I'd see her.

---

why do mommy and daddy fight?....do they hate each other? ....No they wouldn't have had me if they hated each other....

"Daddy....why aren't you and mommy happy?"

"Stay out of this Lilly..." My father turned back to my mother his voice raised. " I can't take Lilly...My fiancé hates kids."

"So? I've had to take care of her by myself for three years now! Now man up and take her!"

"I've sent you money!"

"Yeah a few dollars every six months!"

"Mommy, Daddy stop yelling...your faces are getting all red!"

"*sigh* I didn't mean for you to be born...I don't care about your mother, and I never did...do you understand Lilly?"

As a child I was shocked but I didn't cry I simply nodded, before asking a question." But if...you and mommy don't love each other...how was I born?"

"Henry don't..she shouldn't hear this.." My mother started but father already began.

"It was just for one night...neither of us wanted or expected you."

"........I-I'm...sorry papa." It was at that moment..that I realized I was unwanted and a burden to everyone around me...but I didn't understand why.

"Henry!! I told you not to tell her anything!"

"Still want me to take her?" My father now had a smirk on his face as he turned and walked towards the door.

"You bastard! I-I've asked my brother, to take her....if you decide to man up, this is where she will be." My mother rushed over to my father and slipped some paper in his hand.

"I-I....I want to stay with you though...mommy."

My mother turned towards me her eyes seemed sad. "I know. Lilly...but..I'm sorry, I can't take care of you.."

I didn't say anything for the rest of the day.

   It was a week later when my mother said we where going on a trip.
It was snowing, but I didn't feel cold due to the coat and scarf my mother had wrapped me up in.
For the first time, my mother was letting me hold her hand.

"M-mommy...are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Your so quite...."

"I'm...just thinking... Do you remember your uncle, Laxly or his daughter, Elis?"

"Elis had a nice smile..."

"well I'm glad you remember her...you going to be staying with them from now on."

"Oh.....I'm sorry mommy....I'm sorry you had me." I could feel tears rolling down my cheek as my mother looked down at me, with a surprised expression.
She then dropped to her knees and hugged me, again it was the first hug she'd ever given me.
"Oh Lilly, don't ever apologize....If anyone should apologize it's me...I was so dumb, I wasn't thinking of any outcomes....And because of that...I brought a child into this world...that has to suffer and be confused a lonely..."

I'd never seen her cry and now, here she was her face red and shiny from all the tears.

"Mo-mommy...don't cry...I'm not sad...I'll be strong! I wont cry anymore and I wont rely on anyone! I'll make you proud!"

"I know you will.....but just promises me...that you wont fall in love...'Love' is an illusion, the most anyone can ever be..is content with each other."

My mother let go of me and stood up, before taking my hand again.

"Okay mommy....I won't!"

"Good girl...right there....that's your new home." Mother said pointing at a lone house just at the edge of the forest. It was a old two story white Victorian house.

   I lived happily with my cousin and Uncle for two more year...my parents visited off and on. but that year, my mother passed away.
She had a heart problem and she knew her time was running out.
I locked myself in my room that day and cried until I finally fell asleep.

it was two years later... when I was seven, that I got really sick.
I was bed ridden the doctor said I'd probably be dead before the week was over. 
   I was laying in bed when my father and a woman came in.
"Papa! you came *coughs* oh sorry...Aren't you busy?"
"Yes I'm very busy...I wanted to check up on you though...It's going to be a really long time before I'm able to visit you again-"
My father was cut off by the woman, she had blue eyes and long wavy silver hair.
I thought she might be an angel... until she spoke.
"Oh Henry You shouldn't dumb things down for her."
She now turned to face me.
"Look, your dying. You dad doesn't want to see you die so this will be his last visit...if you want to be a good girl..just die already instead of dragging everyone down."

"I'm sorry to burden anyone...but *cough*..you are wrong I'm going to be strong so...I'm not going to die!"

"Let's going Henry...I don't like seeing kids die."

"R-right." My father walked over to my bed and kissed my forward.

"Daddy...it's okay..you don't have to pretend to care...b-but if you do care...please tell me..that you love me."

My father smiled as he backed away. "Good bye Lilly.."
With that he left my life for good.

I didn't cry though...I guess I expected it..

---

"The Ba***rd died from an STD....hehehe how fitting." I snickered staring at the fairly fresh grave.

"You know Lilly...you're probably the only person I know that can look at a parents grave and laugh.." Elis sighed.

"Oh okay here. Oh why oh why?! Did a man I hardly knew die?! Why couldn't it have been me?!!....was that better?"

".....okay drama queen let's getting going...Luki wants as back before noon tomorrow."

Oh yeah..now might be a good time to say, my uncle was a vampire...he got hungry, tried to eat us...now he's dead, end of that story.

"Yeah, yeah.." I turned and started walking back down the road leading out of the cemetery...we walked for hours talking about this and that.

"You know....you dad did get married..you have two half siblings..maybe you should try connecting with them..."

"HA!! Those kids where raised by that B****...they probably don't even know I exist."

Elis frowned at me before speaking again.
"You have nothing to lose Flower! You only have things to gain, or you back to where you started."

"I'm not going to waste my time trying to win over people I've never met, now please drop it Elis."

"Lilly....don't you want to have that happy family?"

"Tsk....happy family? To H*** with happy family...I hate impossibilities and that's exactly what a 'happy family' is!"

"Aren't we a happy family?"

"No....we're orphans..we're murders and we're cousins...but we aren't a happy family......now let's race!" I took off mainly to blow steam.
I forgot I was faster then Elis and before I know it.
I was lost.
"Sh***......where to know....guess turning..wait a minute." I let out my cat ear to listen in better I thought I heard talking, but I didn't her anything now.
"Hmmmm I guess it was just my imagination..."
I turned to walk away again. Then I noticed a scent in the air..it was blood.

"Hmm...well..I was going to blow off steam anyway~"

I rushed down the path I could see a man on the ground he was blooded up pretty bad, especially from his eye.
I noticed another man standing not to far away, clearly the attacker...or at least victor.
I didn't think about the risks or gains like I normally would have...I just charged ahead.
I was going for the throat, to make it quick.
D*** now why'd he have have to go and move, looks like the longer way it is~

The man nearly sliced my chest, oh god how I love I it when they get close,
As I dodges I pulled one of my smaller "sticky bombs" out of my sleeve and activated it as I slapped it onto the man's chest and kicked him away.

It might not kill him but it sure was going to hurt, and screw his senses.

The man stumbled back, he was almost quick enough to get the bomb off, but not quite. It clearly injured his hand but he stayed on his feet."As you can see, I'm not weak. Don't worry though I won't kill you, but I will make you cry~"

If I wasn't in a fight would've just puked at what I'm pretty sure was a sexual comment.

"Yeah no thanks, please just try and kill me instead~" I wasn't waiting for his reply I was already right beside him, my fist against his stomach.

The man grabbed my arm as he got knocked back and swung me to his side, letting go just in time for me to get sent flying against a tree.

He rushed towards me as I got to my knees I felt a blade skim my neck as I rolled away.

I was turning back towards the man when I saw the one on the ground again..crap I forgot! This battle is timed, I need to finish this up fast!

I throw five explosives in front of me and pulled at daggers so I had one between all my fingers, I ran closer to the woods.

The man was light on his feet and danced around my explosives, thankfully the last ones timer went off causing him to get knocked of his feet.

I throw four of my daggers, they found there mark, which was the where the shoulders met with the chest. I got four more daggers ready as I approached the man.

"Explosives are cheap." He grunted getting back to his feet.

"Meh, they're pretty." I replied kicking him back down, of course I pushed down on my daggers as I leaned down and quickly swung my arm out across his neck.

Great, now my jacket was dirty...its my favorite jacket, if it stains I'm gonna- oh yeah there's still that guy.

I quickly got up and rushed back over to the injured man, and before you ask...I only thought about stealing from him once!

"Whooo, that's gonna be pretty~" I said noting the mangled eye as I bent down to get one of his arms over my shoulder, I noticed the look he had in his good eye.

Crap I just put a injured vampire right next to my neck.
I felt the fang begin to cut into my neck.
"Oh no you don't!" I quickly let go of him....and well, out of instinct kicked him away.

"0.0....ooooops..." I hesitated slightly before going back towards him.

"Oooooooh~ looks like you found a injured, hottie~" Elis snickered coming out of the woods.

"Oh now you show up?! Come on and grab a arm it'll go quicker." I hissed at her as I got the man up again, he clearly still only saw me as food, but he most be in control enough to not try the same method twice.

"Wow, you mean....your actually saving this guy?"

"No, I thought he'd look good on my mantle, now come on." I hissed again as she skipped over and grabbed his arm from behind to make it harder for him to attack her.

"Man, your awfully sarcastic today, you should be happy, your saving someones life!" Elis hummed.

"......I'm going to slap you...once we get him to a healer, you are so going to be slapped."

---

Looking back at that day, she was right. I probably should've been happy.
But how was I supposed to know he'd be my bodyguard....maybe even a friend...pffft Rhett and 'friend' aren't usually used in the same sentence...but it fits, ever since that day, besides Luki he is the only person I could trust, and every time I lost someone, he was still there.

It makes me wonder, how soon it will be before the reckless Ba****d repays his debt and goes off to get himself killed, its probably any day now.....