*does a bunch of air traffic control signal looking arm gestures*

Why do I have to be so sick right now... >.< I fucking hate it... I just want to stay in bed all day long... but I can't I have a lot of shit to fix and work out before I lay back down...

My closet is brokededededededed... I need to fix it or have it fixed... >.< or something...

I want a night alone to myself for once, I haven't been out of my friends' sight for at least 3 weeks now... >.< They still think I'm going to do something horrible to myself or someone else even though I'm not 'depressed' feeling anymore about José. Everything happens for a reason.

Also, the fact that they think that I'm going to hurt myself shows that they don't know me as well as they think they do, or they have a set vision of me that is set in the wrong direction... or something... *shrugs*

I really don't have time right now for any thought to be my own... its kind of wierd... it feels like... o_O I don't know how to explain it... its just a weird out of body feeling... *shrugs*

Oh well, back to my list making and budgeting of the money I don't even have yet... >.<

I feel like I need another hot bath... o_O

Hmm... To the tenth power... (X10)

I don't think our party shall be on Feb 26...

I called Randy, my landlord, this morning and asked him when the first month's rent and deposit were due and he said on March 1st. $1,100 is the amount we need for first month's rent and deposit ($600 for rent and $500 for deposit)...Thats all of our first paychecks...which we get on Febuary 26th... Soo... We're pushing the party to the second week of march... and it will be a house warming party and some other random holiday... I think St. Patrick's Day is in March... o_O DON'T YOU PINCH ME!!!! >.< *runs and hides under the couch with jeebus*

Ehh! It will still be fun! But we do need a third person to room with us... o_O Well, we don't "need" one, but it would sure help keep the money not too tight... *nods*

I have the worst fucking chest cold ever!!! I'm coughing so much that I almost have a tight six pack now... >.< HAHAHA! I wish it would just go away... NOW! I can't be sick, I have too much shit to worry about... >.<

Ugh... I'm gonna go take a hot bath now... and fall asleep for a few hours... I slept over 10 hours last night... but I feel like I need more sleep... I haven't eaten yet either... >.< bah... what the hell is wrong with me... :/

Haha! José says he wants to be security as well! That fucking rocks!

So now I have a short italian death metal guy (Josh), a tall greek death metal guy (Kyle), a tall-skinny white grunge-punk guy (Zack), and a 6'2" mexican Ninja (José) as my securtiy squad for the valentine's party... W00t!

I love my guy friends! What would I do without them?!

Hm...we need a third person to move in the apartment as well... o_O I need to talk to Randy (the landlord) tomorrow about me renting the place after my mom leaves... *nods*

G'night everyone...

-Me <3

"Fear? What is there to fear in love? Love is the very reason we live...to fear it is to lose all sense of living. If we cannot love why have we been put here? Fearing love is like being afraid of breathing..."

Alright the plan has come to a full swing! hehe!

We're having a valentine's/house warming party at my house (It shall be under me and betsy's 'ownership' in March) on Saturday, Febuary 26. *winks*

Its gonna start at 3pm and go till whenever the party goers leave. XD

Music will be provided by our friends, Anthony and Manny, (Manny is a dj for the Ampitheatre {SP?} and Anthony is an Amateur DJ) They both rock! If some people don't like techno sounding music, then it really wont matter, because other people will be talking too much... hahahahaha!

Food will be catered by Alessi's Bakery...because Betsy's parents have it in good with the owners of the Bakery! W00t!

We're hoping to have at the most, 30 people... haha! We got Josh, Kyle, and Zach to do security... they'll kick out anyone trying to start trouble...YAY!

Anywho... we gotta call Alessi's sometime next week so we can preorder the food, and then get all the other supplies when we get our first paycheck... *nods* (we start work on Monday!!! WOO!!)

Oh and, I talked Betsy out of going to Ultra (The Ultra Music Festival in Miami) in march, b/c we can't afford it if we want to have that apartment by march... *nods* Ultra costs $50-$75... I don't think we can afford that...No...

And then in March, I have to start registering for my summer classes so I can catch up since I didnt take courses this semester... :/

"So much crap, so little toilet paper..." -Me hahaha!

We've started a plan...

Betsy and I are going to have a Valentine's party. It will probably be at my house since I have that huge outdoor area in front. Betsy has MAD folding chairs at her house so she will probably bring those over.

People don't have to be single to come to the party... Its for all of us to have a good time with friends...

There's gonna be MAD food! GRUBBAGE!!!!!!!! (Betsy's parents are in good with several catering companies)

I'm still debating the bonfire...concidering most of my friends are fucking pyros... >.< I don't need that burning down shit... GAH! I'd be so fucking pissed! HAHAHA!

And since Feb 14 is on a monday, we might have the party on either the saturday before or the saturday after (most likely the saturday after) Feb. 14... :/

Oh yeah, and my friends Anthony and Manny might be DJ'ing XD ("DJ'ing"...thats funny!) for it so the musack shall be dealt with accordingly...

hmm...sounds like a good plan... but of course we only came up with the Idea today, so... we have a lot of other thinking to do... *nods*

-Me <3

Note to self: trixi400

Hmm... I went to Betsy's therapist with her today (as I do everyday of course) and Karen (her therapist) said that I look disheveled (I've been having REALLY bad insomnia b/c of all the shit on my mind recently) and told me that if I ever need to talk that I can come talk to her free of charge. *sighs* I love it... Finally I can have a professonal opinion on my drama bullshit that I keep held inside... >.<

I'm seeing her on monday... I'm telling her everything. Doctor patient privelege, you know... *nods*

I'm using it to my advantage...

I start work in a week and a half. I can finally get out of debt... FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!

I get to see El Hosey (José) tomorrow! <3 Hehe! I get to make fun of THE phohawk! YESH!!! X3

Gasparilla is this weekend! (Saturday!) All you Tampanians (Residents of Tampa,FL =P) that are going, come find me!!! I'll have U.T.I. Promo shirts for you if you find me!!! *grins*

I'll be hanging out at the 93.3 AND the 98 Rock tents (those are radio stations for those of you who are like 'what the fook???') for a while, then I'm going to be roaming the crowds! Lovery!!!! INDEED!

Anywho...I gotta go, going to try to find 'The Bag Adventure' some more....Borders didn't have it... But they did have "Bluntman and Chronic"!!! FUCK YES!!!

The guy working at Borders said that there is a comic book store near Gaither Highschool. (Thats near José's house!! Woo!) I might go there next week if I don't find my comic book at Barnes and Nobles today... >.<

Hehe! I saw an old buddy from back in the day today! David Paddillo! I've known him since middle school! He's lost a lot of weight! Hehe! He's an 'emo kid' too! X3 He looks so adorable!! X3

We were talking about music (of all things...hahaha, what else do I talk about? Ever?) Anywho..that was my day so far...

Going to Barnes and Noble in a little bit to look at comic books! X3 I love them! I can't be without them!! >.<

Betsy and I are going to the HCC Dale Mabry Campus tomorrow to see if we can find old friends... I just might see José there! But its all good! I know Brian (Squatty) will be there, who else might be there?! Who knows indeed! hehe!

-Me <3

OKAY!!!

Yesterday: I made 50 cents!!! LOL!
---
We were all standing in the street in front of Josh's house and the Gasparilla Children's Parade had just ended so there were a lot of cars going by.

Josh made a sign that said "TOLL=50 cents" and on the back it said "Please don't hit me with your car".

Lexi was Blaring MSI from her car and I was booty dancing in the middle of the street to it.

I lifted my pant leg to show off my punk boot and some old lady slowed her family's van down and told me "Show that leg again!" and I did and she gave me 50 cents!!! HAHAHA!!! That shit kicked ass!!! Mad Hardcore!!! *Waves the rocker symbol up and down* XD

~~~

Today: Some Tourists took a picture of Me, Betsy, and Lexi AND Some little ghetto Black chick tried to get into a fight with Betsy!!
---
Betsy, Lexi, and I went to the University mall today all punked out! (We looked fucking HOT!!) It was girls day out!

In the parking lot there was a truck driving toward us (we had just arrived at the mall) and the truck stopped and the guys wanted a picture of us. I was like "Uh, sure...we're not naked... haha!"

The driver was like "We're from out of town and we wanted stuff to show our friends. You guys look cool!" I was like "we're in the band U.T.I" The guy was like "Thats cool as hell! Thanks you guys!" and they left.

At first I thought they were lying when they said they were from out of town, but when they drove away I saw the license plate and it said Missouri!!! MAD HARDCORE!!!


AND!!! When we were in the food court some ghetto black girl was making fun of Betsy's outfit (It was a Purple leopard print fishnet top, a hot pink bra under it, a hot pink mini skirt, black fishnet stockings, and black vinyl boots) The girl was like "Put some clothes on" (but more ghetto, of course) and Betsy said "At least I look better than you half-naked!" and the girl started talking more shit. Betsy was like "If you want to fight we'll go at it!" The girl said nothing else and we just walked away...HAHA! That shit was hilarious!!

Thats it for now...

Tomorrow Me, Lexi, Betsy, and Marc are going to toys-r-us and he's getting a Pogo stick! HAHA!

I asked José if he wanted to go to Gasparilla on saturday, hopefully he'll go...

BAH!!! Lexi was like " You should go after Marc!" but I already told her I miss my mexican.

Lexi just now said "Marc also speaks italian" And I said "Well I speak English and Ebonics... SON!" hahah!

She also said that he's going to Danny's Concert on Feb 5 at the State Theatre... >.< why can't I just be miserable and missing my mexican without the greasy pesterings? o_O

OKAY!!! Everyone is pissing me the fuck off...

They're all like "If your ex-boyfriend really liked you, he'd "MAKE TIME" for you" and I'm like, No... I don't want him to make time for me, b/c that would mean he's one step closer to flunking college, or becoming homeless, or even worse, etc...

If its meant to be, Time will come... thats all that keeps me from falling to the floor and crying my eyes out like a woman who's soulmate just fell off the edge of a cliff...

Now leave me alone about it, I'm tired of the harrassment...

And No, just because I'm single, DOES NOT mean I will concider anyone for dating purposes...Now go pester someone else with your trivial crap!

I'm posting this on myspace as well b/c I've aquired a few stalkers there too...

Should I just go cut up my face and live in a sewer so that I WON'T attract people to me? I don't know what to do anymore, people don't understand what "No" and "Leave me the Fuck alone" means anymore... >.<

I Lost My Chap Stick!!!! I'm Gonna Die!!!! >.<

I don't even know where to start looking... >.<

I need new people to hang out with...

Being single really does hurt...

Sick still...I'm so tired...I hate everything...kill it all... :/

I made friends with a local DJ he's funny... Prolly won't meet him in real life, but thats okay, internet friends are good too... just harder to stay in touch with. I started talking to my ol'd buddy Pat again... He says he might come to FL to visit for the summer...He said that he remembers Tampa life vaguely, and from what he remembers, he hated it... o_O haha! Poor Pat... Its okay he said he's coming so I'm holding him to it...

Now I only need to get ahold of Victor, Mini-Shane, and...OH SHIT! I did get ahold of Panama-John! I saw him on Sunday! Josh, Panama-John, and I Jammed on sunday! I had no idea that Panama-John Played the guitar...I thought he only smoked pot...HAHA! He's cool as shit though *nods* I almost forgot...HAHA! I most certainly HAVE earned my god-damned Baser stripes... >.< BAH!! hehe!

Everyone wish me luck, I need this Clerical job really bad and Betsy's mom is just dangling it in front of my face like a bitch... If I were just some random person she wouldn't do that stupid shit to me... but Nooo I have to be some special fuck or something... yeah you can tell I'm pissed about it can't you?

So yeah my life is at a stalemate once again...what do I do now? Someone has to know...I sure as hell don't...as always...

Two entries I found on LiveJournal...Me likey...

Heya, there. At the recent tsunami relief effort show, Coheed performed THREE NEW SONGS!

1. Tell All Your Friends
2. 10 Speed Gods Blood in Burial
3. Anything for You
[titles are just based on the lyrics, there is no "taking back coheed", lyrics will most likely be chaged dramatically as with Upper Armories of Third Deep (IKSSE3) and Watch Over Me (The Crowing)

The songs can be found at http://cobaltandcalcium.com

comment away!

-----

New songs from last night's show. taken from cobaltandcalcium.com

These songs do not have official name, but if they did, they'd probably be:

'Tell All Your Friends'

'You'll Leave Her'

'Anything For You'

Lyrics for 'Tell All Your Friends', 'You'll Leave Her', and 'Anything For You' are up, thanks to Marco (a hybrid) for plucking the words out of this stuff.

also, mtv's a bitch... who doesn't understand the amazingness of co&ca playing new songs. Yeah sure everyone wanted to hear songs they knew, but how often are you among the first to hear the first performance of completely new songs? Plus the kind of show it was... the length of coheed and cambria songs... you never walk away completely satisfied after just a half hour. anyway, their review of last night's show.

HAHA! Something way weird-ish/funny/cool just happened!

I'm at Betsy's house, as always... =P And there were these guys putting up her back screen door and Betsy and I were sitting outside I looked at one of the guys and I did such a double-take that my neck kinda hurts...Haha!

This guy looked EXACTLY like Michael Todd!!! My jaw dropped! The only difference was that this guy was about 3 inches shorter than Mic and his hair was curly... *shrugs* Could have fooled me...HAHA!

I went up to him and asked him if he was related to Mic. The guy was like, "*Thinks* No..I don't think so..heh. I'm just the guy from across the street that does construction..." and we laughed... It was cool! Wow! The amazingness of it all!! O_O

And there's this popcorn candy stuff that is covered in dark chocolate its called "Moose Munch" This stuff is the shit!! I'm still eating it! and I'm eye'ing Betsy's mom's bag of it too! LOL! =P

Anyways... I promise I'm done with the diary entries for today...

Fefe Dobson - Don't go

HAHA!!! THIS VIDEO RULES!!!

She is very 80's rock/pop-y!! It rocks! I think it IS actually a remake of an 80's song..but I can't place it for the life of me...

Its very cool! The video has a TON of 80's flare as well!(Color, animation..etc.. {Think like the 80's band Ah-Ha})

Very cool as hell, if you like that kind of thing of course!

Check her out!! NOW!

Meh...today is pretty uneventful...

I don't know what I'm doing tonight... >.< I wanna go hang out with José but he's busy with school work.. :/

I need a car...but thats been established...

I need to go eat something... I have't eaten since yesterday... I'm suprised I haven't had organ failure yet b/c of the way I treat my freaking body... >.<

Oh and I finally printed out the pictures of the two main tattoos that I want...Now I have to go to Atomic Tattoo AGAIN and ask them to price it.. Josh said he can take me to his tattoo artist and I can get a discount...which is a very good Idea b/c the tattoo going on my calf is gonna take a lot of black ink and thats gonna have the price at over $150... >.< ack...I think I'll just go with Josh... hahaha!

Now time for food... *nods*

***I <3 José***