well its official i've lost it i been here thinking all night i've blown all my friends and my family off becuz of it and i've tried to sleep but all i do is lay there crying and can't seem to stop unless i quit thinking and for anyone who knows me knows that impossible for me to do...im lost anymore i mean i don't know what to do i mean i can't stick around here for much longer if i do my ass will most likely end up in jail becuz of kayla's mom wants to get me for rape and all she has to do is tell enough people that hate me her plan and boom im gone and mel's offered to help be on my side but no offense but one againist half the town wont do me much good and i want to go to either kansas or texas either place i would be alot happier and wouldn't have to put up with half the problems i have now but we all know that its not going to end up happening anytime soon if ever and i just wish i could either vanish from this planet or some how walk into a portal that would transfer me to somewhere away from here and im getting sicker i mean i've felt like i've had to barf all day and its only getting worse becuz my chest starts to hurt and it felt like someone was standing on my ribs this morning and my back is killing me and all, maybe i'll get lucky and be the next one in my family to die then i wont have to worry about everything and my family will actually care about -imagines the thought- nope never mind they would just throw me in a box and let me go i mean there would be a few that would be sad like my cousins amber,amy,mind
well its official i want to die and kayla's mom is to blame and if i get my way her mom will die be4 i do but just be4 i do becuz i want to be the one that slits her throat becuz she is ruining her own daughters life and trying to get shit started
the goat is going to be butt fucked with an iron tree then it is going to be molested by a horny little monkey then it will be thrown into the river of blood that leads to my veigns
Well I official snapped again i mean everything here is going wrong i mean people think me and kayla are doing shit becuz im over there all the time...one of the main reasons im over there is im trying to get her clean of all the shit she is doing and im keeping her company until justin gets back from texas then i think im going to disappear from around marshall for awhile except for a few times but i think im going to just stay away from town its only causing more trouble anymore.......
This is Me When I Decide To Go Evil And Demonic Which Might Happen More Often If The Future Continues On The Path That It Is Taking!!!!!!!!
I figured when i moved to marshall i would end up feeling like I would belong here becuz god knows that i never felt that way anywhere I used to live but then again I was wrong to think that wasn't I. I guess when i decided to run my own life people got pissed becuz they lost that power. i hope they enjoyed their little power struggle becuz it no longer exsist in this plane of earth or in this universe that is known becuz im taking back every ounce of control i gave to those who thought they would control my life. Those who thought it be fun to control my life i pity you for he is a great guy that you tried to break but never will you get the chance becuz his heart belongs to someone he loves......
I know this is a bit evil and all but it's how i feel right now and it's off the top of my head but everyone that reads this will know how i feel about this piece of shit town of marshall the those that who live here that i've tried to help but when i do something they don't like they just up and leave me even after all the help i gave to them...guess someone's past of friendship and struggle to help alot of people doesn't matter when you go againist everyone's ideas about what is right..you are seen as an outcast something lower than that of the thought of something normal when you go againist the majority of the world but that is how i decide to fly be it solo or with great numbers at least i am true to myself and that is all that matters be you like it or not
~Joshy~
god i officially hate my life and then some. i mean i've lost alot of people that are cooler than i know. i mean joey was cool and i hear he still is...nikki is still the same old sweetheart even if we don't talk anymore...i've lost the best girl i've ever met next to Nikki and Trish to my best friend and now it's got to the point that we can't stand each other...god im turning out to be everything that i hate and promised myself that i wouldn't become. Maybe if i just disapear then life would return to normal for everyone else god knows i've only ruined everyone's life since i entered it...i mean i can't find my true love thats supposed to be out there while everyone else is off either happier than hell or getting married or at least are engaged while i just sit here and watch just like when i was little...I'm sorry to everyone that ever met me and if your wondering why im appologiezing it's becuz of the fact that i ruined you life and to be honest if everyone just up never talked to me ever again i would really understand....
god im going to sound like a lunatic but here we go, first of all no matter how much i try to not love him,i still love him even though i know it would never work out together and mel i love her to but i can't be with her becuz the fact that i've got a nutcase running around saying that i'll end up dead if i stay with her, god someone shoot me or at least kill me becuz im so fucked up i don't know what to do any more..........
Why do I bother coming on here i mean no one he cares if I come or not and the way things are going i'll probably say something that will piss every one off any way so i think im gonna get off of here forever i mean i lost someone special to me last night and im losing my friends because im actually stupid enough to think they care about my problems....So I Guess This Farewell Forever I'll Miss You Guys I Guess.....FOR ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO BE DICKHEADS I SAY THIS TO YOU AND FOLLOW IT PLEASE:GO FUCK A RABID DUCK THEN GO KILL YOURSELF AND DO USE ALL A FAVOR AND DISAPPEAR AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE TAKE A GUESS BUT I WILL TELL YOU THAT EVERYONE IM TALKING ABOUT ARE GUYS WITH THE EXCEPTION FOR ONE GIRL OTHER THAN FUCK OFF PEOPLE!!!!!!!!
For Everyone That Talks To Me I Will Be On Here Once A Day Random Times If You Miss Me Then To Bad Your Lose I Guess, for this u can thank all those of my so called friends that decided that they would believe a whore over me than fuck them all and i'll see all of you in hell
in this world people make do things that they regret and soem things they cant control but there is only one thing that gets us through it and that is that people make mistakes and it will always happen its there destiny to really fuck up and there is nothin to do againist it but if i could i would take everyones pain and make it to where i would suffore for it instead of them so everyone can live the way they want to
hey i found a new friend and i think ill keep talkin to her after today
hey this is my first day here and im lost and dont have a clue to what im doing