Going to go now.
Thanks.
"_____________
Was so hoping.
That you know.
My bday coming uo.
Things would be different.
But no.
No, not at all.
Why do I bother hoping?
Why?
Manapua.
best.
Fucking.
Thing.
Ever.
Bar.
Freaking.
None.
I.
Want.
More.
It's.
That.
Amazing.
And.
Another.
Thing.
Thats.
Really.
Cool.
Is.
This.
Because.
It.
Looks.
Like.
A.
Graph.
From.
The.
Side.
Isnt.
That.
Nifty.
I.
Could.
Do.
This.
For.
Awhile.
But.
I'm.
Going.
To.
Bed.
Now.
So.
Have.
A.
Good night.
Whooops.
I.
Broke.
It.
For.
A.
moment.
Only.
one.
Word.
At.
A.
Time.
Thats.
The.
Rules.
Ha.
Ha.
Tehee.
Was it worth it?
Is it still?
What was the price I must wonder.
What did it cost you in the end?
How is your prize comparing.
To what you had?
Is it better?
I hope its worth more
Then whatever you paid for it.
Riddle me this.
Riddle me that.
Who is not afraid of the dark?
You thought I'd say bat.
didnt you?
For shame it must be.
To think you could out predict me.
I know all of your secrets.
Your habits, your words your life.
So riddle me this.
Riddle me that.
Who's afraid of the big bad bat?
Hope is why I get up in the morning.
And hope is the reason I cry at night.
Hope is why I smile so much.
And hope is why I'm dieing inside.
Hope is why I am strong.
And hope is what makes me weak.
Hope is this.
Hope is that.
Whenever it helps.
It hinders.
Hope is there.
Hope is here.
Let my hope in for awhile?
so atleast it can help just once.
The Fool is the fool who cant help but love the Queen.
And the Fool is a fool for loving a Queen.
For the Queen knows the Fool is a fool.
And The Fool knows the Queen knows he is a fool.
So who is the bigger fool?
The Fool for being a fool to love the Queen.
Or the Queen for letting the Fool be a fool for loving her?
I want a Watabe wedding.
So much.
It hurts.
They are sooo pretty.
But so damn expensive.
v.v
You know.
I keep thinking I'm the horrible friend.
That there must be something wrong with me.
But then I look at it.
I'm the onyl one who is fuckign trying here.
So you all
Yeah, you all.
Can shove it.
I'm tired of beating myself up
For your faults.
I'm tired of doubting myself
Because of your lies.
So
When you all feel its time to put
Forth a little effort.
And make me feel
A little bit wanted.
You know.
So I dont feel like I'm worth shit.
I'll be over here.
sitting on this bench.
Waiting.
heh.
Waiting.
Its like a lifestyle for me.
Heres a question.
I'd like ot be thought about.
Dont answer though.
I dont want one to this.
Same with those questions
I asked so long ago.
What happened to us? Why are we so far away? Or is it only me who feels like its grown cold between us?
It's funny.
I'm told I'm not insignificant.
but how I'm treated.
Proves otherwise.
Funny right?
I'm laughing so hard I've got -tears-.
Had something.
Changed it to personal.
Bye.
I got a package in the mail today.
And in it was a picture of you.
And on the back it said with love.
And I had to wonder
if that is even true anymore
and then other questions, other memories, hopes and dreams
came flooding up out of their bottles
And I cried.
Because I'm not sure if I want an answer or not.
"If someone truly loves you.
They never really leave you."
-A very close friend of mine.
Think I'd learn.
How do you do the right thing
When you dont even know what the right thing is anymore?
I dont know what to do anymore.
Ever feel so incredibly alone?
I....
I'm going for a drive...a long one.
I dont..know what to do anymore.
And i dont know what people want from me anymore.
I...try to follow their rules, do what they want
And, yeah...
bye.
And i'm backt o hating myself to the point..of yeah.
Just yeah.
It's always my fault.
I'm always to blame.
I'm that dumbass fatass, unattractive peice of shit, failure of a friend.
shit...I wouldnt even call myself a friend.
and i'll never be proven wrong.
i give up.
I wont..
Iw ont try to hlpanyone anymore.
I cant, all idois maek things worse.
I'm not...I'll stay out of everyones lives.
I fele like everyone wants that anyways.
so..goodbye.
Water is to waterfalls, as poetry is to a poets lips.