wonder just how stupid everyone thinks I am.
To not notice things.
If uh
You tell me you wont do such and such
And hten go do such and such
With someone else
When I belong to the same game, or site.
Yeah, I'm going to be hurt.
And feel a bit betrayed.
But I dont see why I bother bringing this up.
Not like hte people who think I'm too stupid to notice anything can
A: Read it ehre.
or
B: care.

Exhausted.
Going to bed.
Later all.

Redrum...redrum...redrum..

How do you deal, with being reminded of what you've lost? How do you cope, and adjust?
How do you keep going, when you are hoping to find what you've lost?

....

*sits down, before curling up*
So, no more talking about stuff.
No more venting in my diary.
And no more hoping to vent to someone.
Some things its time to stop.
And some things its time to stop hoping for.
I've got a few hopes left though.
We'll see.

You know
Maybe someday
Someone will listen to me.
And let me vent to them.
And look at what I say
From my eyes.
And you know what?
I'd like that.
To be able to vent.
Without the fear of getting yelled at.
or being made to feel like shit after.

*sighs*
How badly I envy a few people.
I know it sounds sad, but eh...I do.

Dumbass of the year?
I win that award.
cant even be of any use to my best friend.
That warrents that award yes?

Heading off to finish getting ready.
hopefully, I cans top the shaking in myhands to be able to carry the crock pot full of hot cheese.
so close...to just chucking this stupid laptop out a window.
So, freaking close.

I dont ever want to be told.
That I am not insigificant.
Because I am.
And it pisses me off.

-soooo,last minute invite to a barbaque.
Gonna go.
cause well lets face it.
I have no reason to be home.
And I doubt I'll have anything to do online today.
I never seem to do as of late.
So..
Off to get ready.
Looking forward to actually being around people who give a shit.

Fuck you too.
I cant...
I'm not even going to try anymore.
I'm tired of asking.
i'm tired of begging.
I'm tired of trying so fucking hard.
And either not being appreiciated, or
For you to even care.
So.
I'm giving up.
Way to go to everyone.
I'm actually giving up.
Fuck off.
( And if you are pissed by this message, dont bother. I wont even discuss it. )

It's labor day weekend.
fun.

Another day.
Another clock punching.
No really.
I have a punch card.
Its awesome.

-So
Since I cannot rant.
Atleast where people can read, see, or hear.
Interesting tid bit.
Chicken.
Shouldnt taste like.
Something it shouldnt.
That...was weird.
Not un eatable.
because i ate it.
And it tasted good.
But it didnt taste like chicken.
And what it did taste like well....
I cant say.
Because well...I cant.
Well, I can.
But I wont.

Know what? I'll just hold my tongue and smile.
Its what the whole fucking world wants me to do anyways.
Heaven forbid I have someone to talk to.

--Is tired of all the hypocritsy.

Everyone has to face joy.
But the question is if you will do it alone.
And everyone has to come to terms with disapointment.
But will you meet with it alone?
And when regret, pain, and guilt rear their ugly heads.
Will you stand to meet them, with close friends at your back?
Or will you be alone?
Know this.
I will never leave the ones I love.
Alone.

A Queen isnt a Queen.
Untill she makes the Joker pay.
And the Joker doesnt pay.
Untill he is the Queens fool.
Once payment is made.
And the Queen is a Queen.
And the Joker is her fool.
An exchange is made.
A replacement if you will.
The Joker becomes the worlds Fool.
And the Queen gets to make someone else pay.

The weeping Willow is growing.
The Stone fence is done.
The Glade has returned to its living self.
Hes sitting now you can see him.
Sitting upon his throne.
Watching as people move down the road.
Passed his Weeping Willow.
His eyes are moving.
Darting from face to face.
Looking for someone.
Jut not anyone.
That someone who
So long ago shared his Willow throne.
Strangers continue to meet his gaze.
And with each pass he grows more uneased.
The roses are in bloom.
The pompomps in full swing.
The Great Weeping Willow soars into the sky.
Daring all to attempt to harm its charge.
For the Great Weeping Willow knows.
All to well how something precious can be lost.
When one does not take too great of care.
And so it guards its king, its master.
Protecting him within the confines of his kingdom.
And he will sit and stare.
Welcoming any who wish to stop.