I hate this year.
So much.
nothing good has come from it.
Its been filled with heartr breaks, doubt, pain, and self hating.
And it just keeps getting worse.
And no one is ever there for me.
When I need them.
I feel so fucking alone right now...
But no one cares.
Not a single person.
I hate this year.

I'm not sure what I can say.
To get things to a point.
Where everyone can be happy.
maybe there is something I must do.
Where everyone wins.

Final play tonight.
Not sure if I'll go.
I just dont really feel like it.
Think...I might just go driving.

I'm just a once upon a time hero.
Not worth the time of day.
I'm just a once upon a time hero.
Only useful when the others arnt around.
I'm just a once upon a time hero.
And I'm used to being let down.

Its funny.
If no one will be there for someone.
Either their other friends are too busy.
Dont want to deal with it.
Or just dont care.
They come to me.
Only time I get the time of day from someone is either then
Or there is no one else to spend time with.
But If i MIGHT need someone.
and people know I might.
No one is there.
Irony right?
Yeah...my friends dont take advantage of me at all.

Emotional internal termoil.
How do you get rid of it?
How does one bar it from your soul?
Do you lay your head upon ones shoulder.
And wheep untill it is no more?
Or dos one bottle it, and battle it.
Bravely, and perhaps foolishly fighting alone?
Who does one turn to.
When your own self cannot be trusted?

A whole year?
No wonder I'm hurting so bad.
Are you?
*sighs*
I hate doubt...

Dr. Manhatten(sp )
" I can do almost anything. But I cant change human nature"

Alot of things I can say right now.
A few nice things.
Some hurtful things.
But, of the millions of things I will say right now.
Is this.

...
Yeah I need this campout.
I need to get away from everything, and everyone.
Atleast out in nature.
With just the full moon, some sand crabs, and a sleeping bag.
Theres nothing to disapointment me.
I guess the only one who will never hurt me.
is myself.

Momma always said be compassionate.
Momma always said be dependable.
Momma always said be honorable.
Momma always said be the Gentlemen.
But Momma forgot something important.
This world is filled with humans.
And humans are selfish greedy creatures.
And I've come to learn.
That being a shining knight.
The best thing to happen to someone.
Is the worst thing I could be.

I love you
Is jut a fancy way to say.
I lied.

Going...to go pass out now mkay?
Spent the last..four hours working on html?
Gah.
A ton of work.
And brain frieing.
However, my new rp is going to look amazing.

Special thanks to [Chi] for her help in all this. <3

It kinda sucks.
Going to bed.
Knowing you are no longer needed.
and at times.
Not wanted.
I need ot feel useful you know?
I mean..
I dont get affection like i need.
I'm single so the being alone thing is eating me.
And..to feel unneeded, or not wanted?
Or not important?
It sucks.
And it hurts.
Makes it hard to sleep.

look up
Craft of War : Blind
Freaking amazing video.
I cried.
I laughed.
I damn near fell in love.
Watch it on youtube.
Its the best thing since sliced bread.
( Anyone who gets that ref gets a dollar.)

Blargle.
I like how fast
People drift apart.
how fast people are replaced.
How quickly one goes from
being that one person you always rely on.
Tot he person who only gets teh time of day
When no one else is around.
Blargle the world I say.
For its cruality to those
Who dont deserve such treatment.