the two of them were so perfect for each other that no one in their right mind could speak otherwise. the couple could share each others ups and downs and their push and pull on each other was so sencronised that every beat of their heart was in true harmony. step by step they travel the well beaten path of life even though there are many dangers along the way. but their love was all they could ever need
when they met the stars seemed to shine down like rain from the heavens and the voices that these footprints followed could only have been those of god himself. the waves crashed gracefully that night and the moon stood still in the sky. the birds no longer sang and the lights all dimmed. then it was just the perfect girl with that average guy for everyone to see. he held her hands and kissed her lips and the two melted into each other forever.
at that moment there was no longer him and her but they were a couple and a part of them stayed with each other from that day on. though they ran into many pitfalls and problems along the way none of it ever really mattered. neither of them could see any further then the part of them that was now replaced with a part of the other.
every time that man lay eyes on the girl of his dreams a tear would run down his cheek and though she always knew what was wrong, the two never let on that there was.
kisses are the lover’s fruit and the passion from within. these two would scream of their love from mountain tops as long as they were together.
she always saw herself as so much less then him and he her but in truth the two of them taught each other many new lessons. he taught her not to listen to the populous and to be her own person, to be confident. in return she taught him of unconditional love and of much patients. they both taught each other how far love could really bring you and never even thought of another person.
the two grew old together, side by side. always a new fight, a new discussion but always learned from, always worth something. it was a sad life for both though they made each other as happy as they ever needed, and like the sand on the beach where they first met, their lives sifted from one way to another.
now as much as i tried to show and explain that girl never truly understood how i felt about her, how we lived, together. it was the most important time of my life. it was my whole life. i was once told that earth was how i earned my way into heaven but i don’t believe that second, no sir. that girl was the only angel i’d ever seen and my heaven was right here on earth, with her hand in mine and our hearts as one.
that is how she died...our hands interlocked and a final breath that would last forever. i remember those last moments better then any as they were my own as well. even at this old age my wife was the most beautiful thing i had ever laid eyes apon and she was my entire meaning of life. it reminds me fondly of that august that i vowed to live my life for her and to bring out everything she could be. i don't think i could have done more. to this day i remember the cranberry juice in the 16 oz cup that she was drinking as she kicked off her shoes and walked through the waves. many things have changed since then but one thing hasn’t. every day since that lonely july oh so long ago i have had something i never had before, purpose, for the first time ever my life had purpose and i believe god asked special of me to take care of one of his angels fallen.
when she left this world i had no reason left to be in it and so i followed her. hand in hand like i always had. she passed away and we died in each others arms and our life will truly be everlasting.

Another to you my love...

(Darkness)

it draws on my eternal soul sucking at this empty whole never ending silent bliss kill me now the violent kiss slit me down bleed me out show me what its all about cut me down and leave me dead mess around inside my head hang me there upon a thorn a solemn scent of you once worn make it go and fly away and make this darkness end today

Yesterday I was dumped by Alli's friend emily...yes the same girl that called me the second she woke up to tell me how much she loved me the same girl that sent me a text message when she woke up in the middle of the night to see if i was up and wanted to talk yah well apparently the words "i love you you are the only one i belong with i won't let anyone or anyhting take you away from me" mean nothing to girls so here we go Alli this one's for you

I'm sorry that I hurt you I'm sorry that I lied I'm sorry that I feel asleep and then layed down and cried I'm sorry for your torture for your never ending bliss I'm sorry for my broken heart you make me feel like this I'm sorry that I loved you I know you feel the same I'm sorry that I never felt the coldness in the rain I'm sorry that I'd be there whenever you were sad I'm sorry that your pretty face was nearly always glad but most of all I'm sorry for all I've done for you because all of my commitment will never just be through


In case anyone is interested these are the exact words said to me by Emily

"ok this is rediculous stop thinking alli likes you she doesn't you have turned into her stalker almost you have made ur problems hers and it's not right alli will agree to what i'm saying you arn't going out leave her alone you are a sketchy kid you make her feel so sorry for you thats why this has gone on for so long she won't say this to you cuz she is too nice so just leave her alone you need to get some help alli has not been interested in you so go away you are the worst influence i hate you because of how you have affected her so stop leave her alone and go away no all you have managed to do was scare her with your wierd mental problems and she isn't your gf every time you bother her or call her you get her in a bad mood you are talking to emily but alli is approving all of these you need to stop stalking her you have used her by making her feel so sorry for you find happieness elsewhere yes she should have been truthful from the beginning but believe everything i have said so leave her alone"

I'm so in love with you Alli and I would have worked my ass off to make your every dream come true you know that I guess all this time was just a waste after all

things are so confusing lately i just never know what is going on. i mean, i usually don't but at the same time i do to an extent. i just keep crashing and my friends are leaving me, my birthday present got delivered to the wrong house, no one wants to talk to me and those who do are never around very long. my mind is held captive by that look in your eye as i twist the blade deeper into your gut. it's feelings like these that have me confused i used to love girls and now it seems like i want to murder them all. i just really need someone to come and save me you know, to pick me up brush me off tell me it will be alright and then be there solid. i have no use for someoen that will come and go what i need is a lifelong mate ugh i can't even straiten out my thoughts and my feelings it is all entangled and it burns. free me bloody dagger, free me from this wretched flesh and free me from myself. here we go people the secret to winning me over

1. never lie to me
2. trust me
3. be trustworthy
4. be reliable
5. give me a lot of attention
6. listen to what i say and try to understand me
7. read what i write it is the only way to truely know who i am my writing is my soul
8. i am like a puppy...go from there

would it be really gay if I started writing in this thing? please answer