Another to you my love...

(Darkness)

it draws on my eternal soul sucking at this empty whole never ending silent bliss kill me now the violent kiss slit me down bleed me out show me what its all about cut me down and leave me dead mess around inside my head hang me there upon a thorn a solemn scent of you once worn make it go and fly away and make this darkness end today

Yesterday I was dumped by Alli's friend emily...yes the same girl that called me the second she woke up to tell me how much she loved me the same girl that sent me a text message when she woke up in the middle of the night to see if i was up and wanted to talk yah well apparently the words "i love you you are the only one i belong with i won't let anyone or anyhting take you away from me" mean nothing to girls so here we go Alli this one's for you

I'm sorry that I hurt you I'm sorry that I lied I'm sorry that I feel asleep and then layed down and cried I'm sorry for your torture for your never ending bliss I'm sorry for my broken heart you make me feel like this I'm sorry that I loved you I know you feel the same I'm sorry that I never felt the coldness in the rain I'm sorry that I'd be there whenever you were sad I'm sorry that your pretty face was nearly always glad but most of all I'm sorry for all I've done for you because all of my commitment will never just be through


In case anyone is interested these are the exact words said to me by Emily

"ok this is rediculous stop thinking alli likes you she doesn't you have turned into her stalker almost you have made ur problems hers and it's not right alli will agree to what i'm saying you arn't going out leave her alone you are a sketchy kid you make her feel so sorry for you thats why this has gone on for so long she won't say this to you cuz she is too nice so just leave her alone you need to get some help alli has not been interested in you so go away you are the worst influence i hate you because of how you have affected her so stop leave her alone and go away no all you have managed to do was scare her with your wierd mental problems and she isn't your gf every time you bother her or call her you get her in a bad mood you are talking to emily but alli is approving all of these you need to stop stalking her you have used her by making her feel so sorry for you find happieness elsewhere yes she should have been truthful from the beginning but believe everything i have said so leave her alone"

I'm so in love with you Alli and I would have worked my ass off to make your every dream come true you know that I guess all this time was just a waste after all

things are so confusing lately i just never know what is going on. i mean, i usually don't but at the same time i do to an extent. i just keep crashing and my friends are leaving me, my birthday present got delivered to the wrong house, no one wants to talk to me and those who do are never around very long. my mind is held captive by that look in your eye as i twist the blade deeper into your gut. it's feelings like these that have me confused i used to love girls and now it seems like i want to murder them all. i just really need someone to come and save me you know, to pick me up brush me off tell me it will be alright and then be there solid. i have no use for someoen that will come and go what i need is a lifelong mate ugh i can't even straiten out my thoughts and my feelings it is all entangled and it burns. free me bloody dagger, free me from this wretched flesh and free me from myself. here we go people the secret to winning me over

1. never lie to me
2. trust me
3. be trustworthy
4. be reliable
5. give me a lot of attention
6. listen to what i say and try to understand me
7. read what i write it is the only way to truely know who i am my writing is my soul
8. i am like a puppy...go from there

would it be really gay if I started writing in this thing? please answer