[Raziel Ahnara]'s diary
Amazing
AerosmithI kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin insane
Tryin to walk through
The pain
When I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I thought I could leave, but couldnt get out the door
I was so sick and tired
Of a livin a lie
I was wishin that I
Would die
It's amazing
With the blink of an eye, you finally see the light
It's amazing
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
It's amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight
That one last shots a permanent vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey, not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings
You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen to all that righteous talk
I was out on the street,
Just a tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay alive
It's amazing
With the blink of an eye, you finally see the light
It's amazing
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
It's amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight.
[Steven Tyler]
So, from all of us at Aerosmith
To you out there wherever you are
Remember
The light at the end of the tunnel
May be you.
Goodnight!
Such a beautiful song... And everyone should worship this band, 'cos they're the fucking greatest!
\m/(^O^)\m/
Update on Deidwa's life so far:
Deidwa' will be away for a while because her evil mommy has taken away her internet. If she's seen on here, it is either her boyfriend Jake ([Ironballs "the Preposterous One"]) or she's gotten a reprieve and is allowed on.
Any of those who actually care about this should know that she will (eventually) gain internet access.
Thanks for listening.
~Deidwa (why she wrote (and is still writing) this in third person, she doesn't know.)
9 days and counting!
YAY! ^^ ALMOST THERE! BWEEEEEEEEEEEE
Written about Sunday 2004-12-19
Written: (7842 days ago)
11 days and counting!
YYYYAAAAAAAYYY
13 days and counting!
Bwahahaha! ^____________^
LOOK AT HIM! ISN'T HE THE MOST ADORABLE THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN?!?!?! IT'S JAKEY!!!!!!!!!
2 weeks and counting, until I can see my beloved again... *Happy sigh*
From this point forward, all will be good thoughts. And, I'll have a diary in here counting down the day. ^^ On the 13th day, I'll count down the hour in my mood. Hope you're ready for it. :P
^_____________
I'm going home early... I'm going home early... I'M GOING HOME EARLY!
Agh... No matter how many times I say it, I know I'm going to stay late... Again. Ehh... mama, don't be mad at me. >.<
A (true) comment in Deidre Fan Club
*Smiles* Jake wokeded me upesh thish morning. He's such a sweetie pie. ^^ (And love, if you do see this.. *blows raspberry* you can't deny it! Bwahaha! XD)
Written about Monday 2004-12-13
Written: (7848 days ago)
You woke Jake up this morning. You hadn't meant to, but he said it was okay. *Smile* You told him about your dreams that you had last night (that you would rather not talk about again), and he made you feel better (like always). *Uh.. another smile* You were at the bus stop, waiting for your bus.
"Where are you?"
"I'm out, waiting for my bus to come."
*Cars pass by*
"Er.. I'm, uh... Queen of the, uh.. Bus Stop."
"And, and... you're Queen of... my heart."
Now if that doesn't make someone melt, you don't know what does! *Yet another smile (but this one's huge)* It was just TOO DAMN ADORABLE! It made you feel all warm inside, despite the 40 degree weather.
*Happy sigh* Luck and love.. What a combination. *Last smile for this diary entry, but not for the day*
You found out that Jake can't come to stay for a week, but at least your mom is letting him come up for a few days.
Here's the deal:
Jake's family'll come up here, then go to Portland, and spend some time with his aunt and uncle. Then, Thursday afternoon (the 30th), hopefully in the afternoon, he'll come down to Eugene on Amtrak. From Thursday until Saturday night (or maybe even Sunday morning! ^___^), he'll be with you. You'll be with him on New Year's Eve.. just like you'd hoped... *Happy sigh*
The only thing that could get in the way is whether or not his dad gets time off, and how the weather is coming up here. But it hasn't been too bad, so you've got your hopes high. True, you may not have the amount of time you wish you did, but at least you get some with him at all. It'll be like Memorial Day weekend! Except.. the whole swimming thing, and Jake meeting your dad... *shudder* You don't wanna' go through that again. And you'll be able to be with him again.. You'll be able to hold him again, and he, you... *Yet another happy sigh*
...Life is good.
Written about Friday 2004-12-10
Written: (7851 days ago)
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY
You're soooooooooooo happy, you could BURST!
Jake may be able to come see you over winter break!!!!!!!!!
It's kind of a longshot, but, if the weather's good, Jake's dad gets time off, and your cousin comes to stay, then he can come here! *Squeal*
*Happy sigh* You can't possibly be depressed after news like that. You're positive this'll last until well after school starts again... NEXT YEAR! ^__^
Nobody panic, you're happy.
Make Me Bad
KoRnI am watching the rise and fall of my salvation
There's so much shit around me
such a lack of compassion
I thought it would be fun and games (It would be fun and games)
Instead, It's all the same (It's all the same)
I want something to do
Need to feel the sickness in you
I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again
It's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh made me bad
All I do is look for you
I need my fix, you need it too
Just to get some sort of attention, attention
What does that mean to you? (What does it mean to you?)
For me, It's something I just do (I just do)
I want something
I need to feel the sickness in you
I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again
It's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh made me bad
I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again
It's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh made me bad
I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again
It's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh made me bad
(Does it make me bad?)
I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again
(Does it make me bad?)
It's quite deceiving as I'm feeling the flesh made me bad
Does it make me bad?
Does it make me bad?
Does it make me bad?
Does it make me bad?
Written about Thursday 2004-12-09
Written: (7852 days ago)
You can't quite explain it, but you're almost overly
happy!
That's right, you said it. YOU'RE HAPPY! So, it's the middle of first period, and what are you doing?
DANCING!
Whoo! *Smile* It's great to be you.
Written about Thursday 2004-12-09
Written: (7853 days ago)
I hate this damned cellphone!
I'm done raving now. You can all go about your lives in a timely fashion again. *shakes head*
You wonder how he slept...
You wonder if he's okay...
You also wonder...
Why don't you care about your feelings right now?
*Sigh* You're trying to please too many people, Deidre. You don't have time for yourself anymore.
Face it. You're damned to a life of making everyone else happy, even if it means you're not.
Sounds like the average day, doesn't it?
I am circled like prey,
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt...
~Excerpt from "Nymphetamine Fix" by Cradle of Filth
Written about Monday 2004-12-06
Written: (7855 days ago)
Update
Going to 2nd period wouldn't have been such a waste of my time as my appointment was...
*Sigh*
*Sigh* Last night, you had another breakdown... Mer...
Pretty much the highlight of your weekend.
Moving on...
Today, December 6th, 2004, 10:37 AM
You welcome all, to your abysmal diary... Mer.Today: Here is your schedule...
Period 1: Tech 10. The most dismal class man has ever known.
Period 2: Newswriting. You're not staying the entire period, you've got an appointment with the school therapist today.
Lunch: Not as much of an escape as it should be.
Period 3: Geometry. MATH! RUN! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Period 4: English 10. Today, you've got to take that state-wide reading test... Ergh...
After school: Go home. And go back to the home life, which you'd rather not return to. Instead, you'd like to live in California, at least somewhat closer to Jake. But everyone seems to be pleased with the fact that you have such limited contact, and the fact that he's so far away.
Ahh... You understand now. They take comfort in your misery.
And so begins another day...