[Raziel Ahnara]'s diary

437003  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-12-07
Written: (7854 days ago)
Next in thread: 437124, 437657

You wonder how he slept...

You wonder if he's okay...

You also wonder...

Why don't you care about your feelings right now?

*Sigh* You're trying to please too many people, Deidre. You don't have time for yourself anymore.

Face it. You're damned to a life of making everyone else happy, even if it means you're not.



Sounds like the average day, doesn't it?

436696  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-12-07
Written: (7854 days ago)

Wracked with her charm,
I am circled like prey,
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt...


~Excerpt from "Nymphetamine Fix" by Cradle of Filth
436181  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-12-06
Written: (7855 days ago)
Next in thread: 436257

Update


Going to 2nd period wouldn't have been such a waste of my time as my appointment was...

*Sigh*
435977  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-12-06
Written: (7855 days ago)

*Sigh* Last night, you had another breakdown... Mer...

Pretty much the highlight of your weekend.


Moving on...

Today, December 6th, 2004, 10:37 AM

You welcome all, to your abysmal diary... Mer.

Today: Here is your schedule...

Period 1: Tech 10. The most dismal class man has ever known.

Period 2: Newswriting. You're not staying the entire period, you've got an appointment with the school therapist today.

Lunch: Not as much of an escape as it should be.

Period 3: Geometry. MATH! RUN! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Period 4: English 10. Today, you've got to take that state-wide reading test... Ergh...

After school: Go home. And go back to the home life, which you'd rather not return to. Instead, you'd like to live in California, at least somewhat closer to Jake. But everyone seems to be pleased with the fact that you have such limited contact, and the fact that he's so far away.


Ahh... You understand now. They take comfort in your misery.

And so begins another day...
434603  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-12-05
Written: (7856 days ago)

001: Name: Deidre C. Jones (and in the future, that’ll change from Jones to Navarro… *happy sigh*)
002: Nickname(s): Deidwa, Ducky, Angel, Deidre Candy (only Jake can call me that one :P), and others no one but Jake will ever know ^_~
003: Country of living: The shithole of a country we call “United”, the over-fucked USA. Welcome, one and all. *Rolls eyes*
004: Birthdate: August 29th, 1989 Lucky me, I was born on the same day as Michael Jackson (and I don’t give a fuck what y’all say, he’s innocent, no matter how creepy he looks).
005: Hair Length: About midback (but I want it longer)
006: Eye color: Misty blue (occasionally with gold around the pupil :D)
007: Shoe size: Mer…. 10 ½ wide… Egh… I hate my feet. Short and wide.. Blech.
008: School/work: High school student (but I’m not a freshman any more! YAY!!!! I’m not scum! :P)
009: You smoke: Nope. Did once, never will again. Nasty ass shit, that is.
010: Hobbies: Talking to Jakey, talking about Jakey, thinking about Jakey (there’s more than that, but for the sake of keeping you reading without going “God, she’s whipped,” we’ll move on), reading, writing, drawing, playing on the computer, coming on Elftown, and screwing with shit in PhotoShop (and I say shit because that’s what it becomes when I’m finished with it >_<)
011: Brothers/Sisters: One sister, nine years old. Old enough to talk, old enough to say “no”, but not old enough to realize that the world REALLY doesn’t revolve around them.
012: Relationship: Thankfully, yes. And I will never be otherwise. I love you, Jake! ^^ *MUAH!*
013: Piercing(s): Aside from my ears, nope. If you asked me about two months ago, I probably would have said “I want more, though”. Not now… I’ve seen what can happen to people with those damned things.. *shudder*
017: Nicest person(s) you met this year: AGH! LOTS! ^^ Jake, Nancy, Cloudpuff, Lori, Katie, Saffy, Ewan, Kurt, Daniel ([Subversivemind]), and [the obvious child]
018: Person you rather not have met this year: None that I can think of.
019: Who would you like to meet: Hmmm… Dean Koontz. ^^ He’s a novelist, and a creepy one, too. I think it’d be fun to talk with him. Kinda’ morbidy. ^^
020: Who do you admire most: Most? Don’t ever tell her this, but I admire my mother. She’s been strong throughout her entire divorce, and she’s still kept a positive outlook (on most things).
021: Most sexy person: Why, Jake, of course! *drools*
022: Favorite Pajamas: I don’t really have any… (favorites, that is :P)
023: Favorite Car: Chevy El Camino.. Heheheheheheh… ^^
024: Favorite Movie(s): Argh… I dunno… I’ll give you one of my favorites… Robin Hood: Men in Tights
025: Favorite Music: Rock, duh. :P
026: Favorite City(s): (in order, South to North) Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle
027: Favorite Plush: The two teddy bears that my beloved Jakey gave me. ^^
028: Favorite Perfume/aftershave: Don’t have any (and I don’t wear enough to know)
029: Favorite Magazine: Don’t read them
030: Favorite sound: Rain, laughter, breathing, and others, I’m sure
031: Favorite TV-series: “Whose Line is it Anyway?”
032: Favorite Writer: Dean Koontz
033: Favorite Nickname: Deidwa
034: What is on your mousepad: Erm… nothing?
035: What all is under your bed: Clothes.. stuff I can’t remember…
036: Favorite color: Blue, Black, Purple, Silver, and Bloodred
037: Favorite Song ever: I have a few, but the ones that mean the most to me are Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” and “Angel’”, and Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel”
038: Favorite song at this moment: “Wonderful” by Everclear and “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls
039: Favorite food: Anything with chocolate, caramel, peanut butter, or whipped cream (though, I prefer those individually)
040: Favorite class in school: At the moment, Newswriting
041: Favorite drink: Uhh.. I dunno…
042: Lucky number: My favorite number is 13, though I don’t really know what my lucky number is.. 12, or 23, perhaps.. Jake would know why. :D
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: My maturity, my understanding, and my open-mindedness.
044: What deodorant do you use: Secret Sheer Dry, why do you ask?
045: Favorite shoes: My boots and my Sodas. ^_^
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: Generally, about midnight
047: What word do you use most: “Dammit!”
048: Most romantic moment in your life: That is for Jake and I to know, and for the rest of you to never find out. :P
049:Most embarrassing moment in your life: Now see, that one is for ME to know, and no one else.
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: Inside, unless it’s raining or snowing… *smiles*
051: What do you do in the weekends: Talk on the phone, go on the compy, read… so basically, not much else from a weekday. :P
052: What class in school you dislike most: Tech 10… SAVE ME!!!!
053: Your Breakfast: Bagel and Cream Cheese or Peanut Butter Toast. Nummy… ^^
054: What do you really dislike to eat: Liver, peas, zucchini, cauliflower, Taco Bell, and others, I’m sure
055: Pets: My kietties Tiny and Raven. ^^
056: Laugh or Dream: I love to do both ^_^
058: Fast or slow: Depends on the occasion, doesn’t it?
059: You prefer being alone or have a relationship: Relationship, of course, but, if (God forbid) Jake and I ever did break up, I would be okay as long as he stayed my friend. The most I could ever ask of him is to stay in my life. *Small smile*
060: Simple or complicated: Being a woman, very complicated :P
061: Cremate or Buried when dead: Buried. There’s still that sense that, while their soul is gone, at least their body remains.
062: Sex or Alcohol: I have yet to have sex (yes, I’m a virgin, and damn proud of it!), but I’m betting it’s better than alcohol. :P
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: Stay up late! Sleep is overrated. ^_~
064: Light or dark: Darkness is often preferred, but there are times when even the treasured darkness proves discomforting.
065: Speak or Silence: Depends on the occasion.
066: Tall or small: I’m short… *sniff*
067: News paper: I work for one…?
068: Hug or kiss: I love them both, and both can be friendly or intimate. They’re versatile! :P
069: Happy or Sad: Generally, I like to be happy, but there are instances when sadness seems more fitting. Besides, how can you really enjoy your happiness if you’ve never experienced sorrow?
070: Life or Death: Life and Death are not the end or the beginning. They are simply what binds us to eternity.
071: Gig or Disco: Generally, I’d like to go to a gig, but I’ll dance every now and then (not necessarily so 70’s style, but, hey)
072: Left or Right: I’m a righty, but almost half my school is either left handed or ambidextrous (lucky bastards :P)
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: Erm… huh?
074: Dark/red/Blonde: I’m a walking contradiction when it comes to hair. For a while, the theory has been that blondes are dumb, but have more fun. Redheads are somewhere in the middle. And brunettes are smart and dull. Well, I’ve got dark brown hair, which can, if I’m in the sun long enough, turn a reddish color, and I’ve got blonde streaks. You tell me how that works out. ^_~
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: Not a question, but a request. “Let my darling Jake be happy. That is all I ask. Let him be happy, even if I cannot make him so.”
076: You believe in reincarnation: I know I like the idea of it, but I don’t know if I fully believe in it. But I do believe there is a life beyond the waking world.
077: You believe in Aliens: I’ve read enough Dean Koontz to further question the universe, yes.
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: “I will watch over you…”
079: Does true love exist: Is there beauty in the world? In other words, it’s all how one perceives it. There is no right or wrong answer.
080: How many kids would you like to have: At least two; a boy and a girl. ^_^
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: Intolerant and stupid people.
082: Best feeling: Being in love.
083: Worst feeling in the world: Knowing the one you love is in pain (even worse: knowing that you caused it).
084: What are you afraid of: Hurting my beloved Jake.
085: Are you an emotional person: You clearly don’t know me very well if you have to ask that.
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: I don’t recall if I ever have before, but generally, no.
087: Your goal in life: To not only make others happy, but to be happy/content with myself.
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at new years eve: I don’t do resolutions. They’re just promises made to be broken.
089: Favorite art-artist: I don’t really have one.
090: As what animal would you like to reincarnate: Either a wolf, some kind of feline, a snake, or a crow
091: What is the most beautiful part on the human body: Everything. The human body is its own temple, and therefore, is only as beautiful as the person who built it feels it is.
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: As long as it’s your true love and you’re in love, any place and any time is the right moment.
093:What do you think of Elftown: I love it. Actually, I owe it a lot. Had I not found it, I never would have found the love of my life.
094: Is there something you miss about Elftown: Was there something/someone that left? :P
095: Where did you get this question list: I kinda’ stole if from [Nosferatu]
095: Besides Elftown, what do you do most on your PC: Listen to music, look for lyrics, mess with stuff on PhotoShop, and talk on MSN. ^_^
096: Is there a question you missed in this all: Not yet, but there is still 143 questions to go, so, don’t get your hopes up. ^_~
097: Favorite Actor: Robin Williams and Jim Carrey
098: Favorite Actress: Can’t think of any
099: Favorite Animes: Don’t have any yet (though I’m sure Jake will fix this soon enough).
100: Favorite Mangas: I haven’t read enough to know.
102: What super powers do you wish to have: Invisibility and telekinesis… I think it’d be fun to communicate with other people without the use of a phone or some other thing… It’d be fun to freak ‘em out. :P
103: Your gender: Hang on, lemme check… *looks down shirt* Girl. :P
104: Straight/gay/BI: I’m straight, but I was once BI-curious. Oh, and make no mistake, just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I don’t support gay/lesbian couples. You guys rock! *much hugs*
105: Single: Did you not read the last question about whether or not I was in a relationship?
106: Want to be: Gods no! Me? Lose my darling Jakey? I think not! ^_~
107: Age you act: About 15-16
108: Age you wish you were: 18 or older. ^^ Like so many teenagers. :P
109: Your height: 5’4”
110: Happy with it: No.. :P I’m short… Mer..
111: The color of your hair: I’ve already said that once before… but it’s dark brown, with blonde streaks.
112: Happy with it: Fairly, yes.
113: Left/right/ambidextrous: I’m right handed, but I wish I were ambidextrous, I just think it’d be cool. ^_^
114: Your living arrangement: I currently live with my mom and my sister, but I plan for that to change very soon.
115: What's your job: I don’t have one.. That’s why I’m so broke. :P
116: Piercing: Yet another thing I’ve said at least once before… Go back to question 13.
117: Obsessions: Lots of ‘em. ^^ My main one being my beloved Jakey. ^____^
118: Do you speak another languages: Other than English, I speak Spanish, French, and German. Neither one of them fluently… :P
119: Have a favorite quote: “The only one who deserves you is the one who thinks they don’t.”
120: Do you have a WebPage: Nope.. I’m not special enough to have one. :P
121: Where Do you live at the moment: In Oregon… with my mother and sister… This all seems very familiar… have I said this before?
122: Do you consider yourself tolerant of others: Yes, actually, I do. Except of people who are stupid and intolerant of others.
123: Do you have any secrets: Doesn’t everyone?
124: Do you hate yourself: No, but then, I’m not my #1 fan, either.
125: Do you like your handwriting: Gods, no! It’s muy horrible.
126: Do you have any bad habits: Again, doesn’t everyone?
127: What is the compliment you get most from people: “I love your eyes!” ^___^ I know, they’re pretty, aren’t they?
128: If a movie were made about your life, what would it be called: “Wanna Be: Happy”
131: Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool: *Whistles nonchalantly* Who, me?
132: Are you a loner: Mer… *shrugs* Kinda’ yes, kinda’ no.
133: If you were another person, would you be friends with you: I had the same level of craziness as myself, then, yeah, probably.
134: Are you a daredevil: HA! That’s funny! Oh.. you were serious? :P I’m a straight up chicken. ^^
135: Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself: Hmmm… *shrugs*
136: Are you passive or aggressive: Ohh, I’m the meanest there ever w- oh, the hell with it. I’m submissive like a frightened dog. :P
137: Have you got a question: Uhm… sure.
138: What is your greatest strength and weakness: My weakness? Hmm… Probably not being able to be happy with myself (on a regular basis, at least). My strength? My understanding, and my judgement.
139: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be: Change? *Blinks* Why should I change? :P
140: There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose: I have each one. Why do I need to choose? ^_~
141: How do you vent: Writing, drawing, reading, talking to Jake, talking to Jake some more, yelling/screaming into my pillow, listening to my music, and, of course, talking to Jake again.
142: Do you think you are emotionally strong: Of course, but I wouldn’t have become so strong had I not had my darling Jakey. ^___^
143: Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life: No one can live without regret. Think on that for a while.
144: Do you think life has been good so far: For a while, it was incredibly unbearable. But remember, I’m strong, and life is wonderful, because of Jake.
145: What is the most important lesson you've learned from life: Take a chance, fall in love. See where it takes you.
145: What do you like the most about your body: Most? Hmm… I’d have to say my eyes. Everyone else seems to agree that’s my best quality too. ^_^
146: And least: The human body is a temple. It is only as beautiful as the soul within. In my case, it’s damn fine. ^_~ So, to answer your question, there isn’t anything I don’t like about my body. ^___^
147: Do you think you are good looking: Of course! ^__^ Jakey’s spent hours telling me so. So, naturally, I believe the most perfect man in the universe.
148: Are you confident: Not as much as I should be, but, meh. *Shrugs*
149: What is the fictional character you're most like: Hell if I know. :P
150: Do people know how you feel: Mer.. I dunno.
151: Are you perceived wrongly: Probably, but then, I’m not other people.
152: Smoke: Nope. Did once, never will again. Blech.. Nasty stuff.
153: Do drugs: Unless you count love, noppersh! ^___^
154: Read the newspaper: Nope. Except the comics. Hehe.
155: Pray: Not regularly. Once in a very LONG while
156: Go to church: See previous answer.
157: Talk to strangers who IM you: No.. creeps. :P
158: Sleep with stuffed animals: Yuppersh. Two teddy bears, both given to me by Jakey! ^___^
160: Talk to people even though you hate them: No… All the people I hate are celebrities. :P
161: Drive: No.. but I wish I could.
162: Like to drive fast: *Nods furiously*
163: Like your voice: Hmm.. at times.
164: Hurt yourself: That depends on what you mean by “hurt”.
165: Been out of the country: No… but I wanna go to Germany!
166: Eaten something that made other people sick: Yep… Bwahahaha! I did it just to spite someone. Teehee! Fun!
167: Burped: Who hasn’t?
168: Been unfaithful: *Sigh* We won’t discuss that…
169: Been in love: But of course! I’m in it right now! And now.. And now… And now… And now…
170: Done drugs: Nopes. Never plan to, either.
171: Gone skinny-dipping: Teehee! I want to someday, but not yet. It sounds fun. :P
172: Had a surgery: Oh, just some breast implants, resized my nose, liposuction… *Laughs* No, none.
173: Ran away from home: Nope, but I’ve thought about it plenty of times.
174: Played strip poker: Tee hee! I want to someday, but I’m only playing with one person, and that’ll be my Jakey. So sorry. :P
175: Gotten beaten up: Is that not the point of Elementary and Middle School?
176: Been picked on: See previous answer.
177: Been on stage: Yeah… Not going on it ever again. :P
178: Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when, that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: No… thank God. *Laughs*
179: Slept outdoors: Yuppersh! Actually slept on a trampoline a few times, too.
180: Thought about suicide: Mer… Moving right along….
181: Pulled an all-nighter: Yups! ‘Twas fun. ^__^
182: If yes, what is your record: Hmmm.. assuming this isn’t counting my insomnia… *counts* 37 hours, 23 minutes, and 12 seconds. I was timed until I eventually passed out. *Laughs*
183: Gone one day without food: Yeah… on a couple of occasions… Not fun.
184: Talked on the phone all night: *Laughs aloud* That happens every weekend. Where’ve you been? :P
185: Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: No… But I want to (with Jakey, of course). ^__^
186: Slept all day: Only once, when I was really, really sick.
187: Killed someone: Only in my dreams (and nightmares *shudders*)…
188: Made out with a stranger: Nope.. Never will, either.. Creepy.
189: Had sex with a stranger: I’m still a virgin, aren’t I? *shudders* That’d be just… so very wrong…
190: Thought you're going crazy: Hahahahaha! That’s just about every other day. :P I’m incredibly strange, and I worry about myself from time to time.
191: Kissed the same sex: Only once, and that was experimentation. And while I support same-sex relationships, I’m happy to say I’m straight, and in love with a wonderful man. ^_^
192: Done anything sexual with the same sex: Nope. Unless I was violated in my sleep. *Worried*
193: Been betrayed: Let’s not talk about that, shall we?
194: Had a dream that came true: *Smiles* Yeah… Jake.
195: Broken the law: Nah, I’m a good girl. :P
196: Met a famous person: I wish! :P I remember when I was 5, I thought I’d seen Michael Jackson. But, it wasn’t of course. Just a black man with curly hair and a real nose.
197: Have you ever killed an animal by accident: No, not by myself, anyway. :P
198: Stolen anything: Just some candy bars from 7-Eleven. *Smiles sweetly* I’m a good girl! :P
199: Been on radio/TV.: No… *sniff* No one wants me there. :P
200: Been in a mosh-pit: Only a very, very small one. :P Not really a mosh pit, more like a needs-more pit. :P
201: Had a nervous breakdown: I’ve had a few. *Shrugs*
202: Considered religious vocation: Err.. no.
203: Been criticized about your sexual performance: Not as far as I know.. Then again, I’m still a virgin, remember?
204: Bungee jumped: No.. Never will. Too scary. :P
205: Had a dream that kept coming back: Yeah… As a matter of fact, it happened today… *shudders*
206: Believe in miracles: Of course!
208: Astrology: On occasion
209: Magic: It’s as real as love. ^_^
210: God: I acknowledge the fact that He’s there, but I’m not particularly religious.
211: Satan: Same as God.
212: Santa: What would Christmas be without Santa?
213: Ghosts: I think we’ve got one… I tend to hear things when I sleep in my room, so I wonder if we have a visitor..
214: Luck: Generally, I do.
215: Love at first sight: Why wouldn’t I? That’s what it was with me and Jake. It just happened to be first sight of message. :P
216: Yin and Yang: Mer. *Shrugs*
217: Witches: Not so much.
218: Easter bunny: No… And I try not to think about it since I saw the “Sour Girl” video by STP… *shudder* Creepyness..
219: Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: *Smiles* Yeah… It is.
220: Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: Heheh. I don’t know if that was originally part of Irish folklore, but sure, let’s humor Lucky the Leprechaun, shall we?
221: Do you wish on stars?: All the time… A cluster of them in particular… *Smiles*
222: Do you remember your first love?: I don’t need to remember him… He’s still with me. ^^
223: Still love him/her: Of course… And I’ll never stop.
224: Do you consider love a mistake: Gods, no! If love were a mistake, there would be no reason for my existence. ^^
225: What do you find romantic: Anything that is done with your one true love (no matter how silly or seductive) is romantic.
226: Turn-on: Hmmm… Kinky stuff, and anything Jakey does (those always go hand in hand, so, so sorry for all those of you who thought you had a chance :P). 
227: Turn-off: Hmm… Cocky behavior.
228: Do you base your judgement on looks alone: Gods no! It’s nice if someone is good looking, but that’s just a mask on how they act. They need to have personality and a sense of humor. Looks are just a bonus.
229: If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel: I would feel flattered, but since I’m taken, I don’t think it’d affect me much.
230: Do you prefer knowing someone before dating him or her or going "blind": Knowing someone. I couldn’t do a blind date. Not knowing anything about them? That’s crazy! But, again, I don’t have to worry. I’m taken. ^__^ And damn proud of it.
231: Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy: Yeah. It’s not just a man’s world out there anymore. :P
232: Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: No… Then again (for the third time) I’ve got Jakey, and he’s a fuckin sexy beast! ^___^
233: Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking: A few of them do, but I could care less. As long as Jake does, that’s all that matters.
234: What is best about the opposite sex: Hmm… I dunno… Probably the men’s ultimate impulse to protect you. ^___^ Jakey’s very protective… I think it’s sweet.
235: What is the worst thing about the opposite sex: Men can sometimes be cocky and arrogant.. And betraying horny pricks that I won’t mention.. *cough*MattHernandez*cough*
236: What's the last present someone gave you *Laughs* My friend Kevin gave me a penny for Christmas… He’s so thoughtful! *Laughs again*
237: Do you consider your significant other hot: *Scoffs* Have you looked at him?! *Thinks of Right Said Fred* He’s.. too sexy for the world… too sexy for the world… *Smiles* And he knows it’s damn well true, too! ^__^
238: What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy standing on the sidewalk: Not much. If he ain’t Jakey, he ain’t worth my attention. :P
239: Favorite weather: Rainy and snowy. ^___^ I love the cold and I love the rain and snow.. *Sigh* Hence, why I love winter so much.
240: Astrological sign: I’m a virgin! Err.. I mean… Virgo! *Laughs* :P

433640  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-12-04
Written: (7858 days ago)

A message that Jake sent me today.

I wuvley-wuvles woo with much... umm... muchness!


ISN'T HE JUST TOO ADORABLE?!?!?! *shnuggles my adorable Jakey*
433625  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-12-04
Written: (7858 days ago)

A discussion with Jake this morning (after mimicking Richard Jeni's mother and her tactics of waking up people):

Me: I wouldn't do that to our children... I'd damage them horribly.
Jake: *Laughs* Maybe that only happens in New York?
Me: Well, if that's what the kids want... *Laughs* I'd be such a bad mother.
Jake: Why do you say that?
Me: Because if they wanna go to New York, they can go themselves. *Laughs again* "Here, guys, Here's $20 and a Tic Tac for you to split. Have fun!" *Laughs again*


*Laugh* It's true.. I'm gonna' be a horrible mother... *Innocent look while hiding knives* But I love children! :P

433326  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2004-12-03
Written: (7858 days ago)

Mer.. I'm bored. :P

No one ish on. Jake's probably still asleep... *shrugs and laughs* I only made him wake up 4 hours early to wake me up. :P

Ehh.. And I can't stay on. Meh.

Well, it's on to Geometry! >.< And a test.. blech.

Bye for now. ^__^

432049  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-12-02
Written: (7859 days ago)
Next in thread: 432067

Random Quote

This one's by me, today... I think it's true.

"Don't worry about the ones who give the look of 'I'm alone, I'm an aspiring artist with a tortured soul'. Instead, worry about the ones you never notice... The ones you don't see. They're far more tortured than the "goths" who crave your attention."

~:~:~* Me *~:~:~

430155  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-11-30
Written: (7861 days ago)

Wonderful

Everclear

(spoken intro) Wonderful.....Isn't it wonderful now...

I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them

The wonderful things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
And make everything be wonderful again

I hold my mom and I hold my dad
Try to figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that makes me want to cry

Close my eyes when I go to bed and I
Dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say that
Everything will be wonderful some day

Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

Na na nana........
Please don't tell me everthing is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all ok
I have to laugh so my friends wont know
When the bell rings I just don't want to go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say that
Everything will be wonderful some day

Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world is so big (so big)
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now

Na na nana........
No. No. I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.
No. No. I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.
I don't want to hear you say that I will understand some day
No. No. No. No.
I don't want to hear you say that you both have grown in a different way
No. No. No.
No I don't want to meet your friend
I don't want to start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Somedays, I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now.
Na na nana....

No. Please I don't want to hear you tell me everything is wonderful now...

No. Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now..
Na nana..
Everything is wonderful now...
428770  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-11-29
Written: (7862 days ago)

So… another day starts… *sigh* …Let us see how you get through today…

422997  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2004-11-23
Written: (7868 days ago)
Next in thread: 423008

Iris

Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
421579  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2004-11-22
Written: (7869 days ago)
Next in thread: 421660

Today... How should you describe today? Today has been... Slightly more bearable, but not by much. You have too much to do in such a short amount of time... And your teachers aren't giving you the help you ask for.

And today... *Sigh* ...today reminded you so much of earlier in the year... When your happiness hadn't found you yet...

They laugh at you... They think you have no life... They tell you that you're alone.. And they laugh....


Today... today isn't such a good day, after all...



Update: Thanks to my sweet sister, Nancy ([Kelaria]), I'm feeling better. Thank you, sissie! *Hugglesnesh*

420673  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-11-21
Written: (7870 days ago)

Tookesh another testy thingy...

I have passed test, and I am now deemed worthy to be known as a ... ... Sorceress. In the war between good and evil, a Sorceress takes the side of the noble and good.I am gifted with the elemental plane of Air. 

A Sorceress creates magic the way a poet creates poems, with inborn talent honed by practice. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Some Sorceress' claim that the blood of dragons courses through their veins. It may even be true-it is common knowledge that certain powerful dragons can take humanoid form and even have humanoid lovers, and it’s difficult to prove that a given a Sorceress does
not have a dragon ancestor. A Sorceress often has striking good looks, usually with a touch of the exotic that hints at an unusual heritage. Still, the claim that a Sorceress is partially draconic is either an unsubstantiated boast on the part of a certain Sorceress or envious gossip on the part of those who lack the Sorceress's gift.

Your powers are highly attuned to the elemental plane of air. Storms and the powers of the winds come at your beck and call. Sometimes a magic user tuned to the elemental plane of air has the power to fly at will, and infuse his living body with the powers of his element. Often mages of air will build their strongholds or magical dwellings in high places such as mountain tops or flying citadels high above the earth where they can be close to their element. Some of the more powerfull spells in your arsenal include Lightning Bolt, Desert Twister, and Divine Wind.


Find out what kind of Wizard/Wizardess you are at http://www.WizardSoul.Com



And another one.. :P

I am a A Stone Dragon!

Hey, I took the http://dragonhame.com online Inner Dragon quiz and found out I am a Stone Dragon on the inside.

In the war between good and evil, a Stone Dragon tends to walk the fine line of Neutrality....
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos....
As far as magical tendancies, a Stone Dragon's nature does not lend itself well to the ways of Magic....
During combat situations, a true Stone Dragon prefers to defeat opponents by the use of spells and other tactics....
The Stone Dragon varies in color, ranging from a dark grey to nearly white. As it's name implies, it's texture is stone like, and often it's coloring will actually resemble marble, granite or some other indigenous rock.'
The Stone Dragon builds it's home deep underground, using it's powerful claws to scoop earth and stone away. Did you hear me? Yes, it uses its claws to dig through stone, which also makes it a powerful fighter in close combat.'
Luckily for most would be enemies, the stone dragon lives far enough in seclusion that seldom does it have a need to use either it's claws, or it's devastating lava breathe weapon. Even though the Stone Dragon lives far under the earth, it is quite social and often makes friends and allies with the deep dwarves that share it's habitat.
'
This Dragons favorite elements are: Granite and Loyal Friendships


Mer.. sure. :P
417461  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-11-18
Written: (7873 days ago)

*Sniff* I miss my Jakey... And it's time for class... I won't be able to talk to him till later. Angel ish sad.. *tear*

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (;.;)

<img:http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/sadangel.gif>

417290  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2004-11-18
Written: (7873 days ago)

Mer.. Another of these little listy thingies. Except it all has to do with bands and shtuffs. ^^

10 Questions

Pick a band and answer only using that bands song titles.

Chosen band: Meat Loaf

1. Are you a male or a female?: Good Girls Go to Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere)

2. Describe yourself: Fallen Angel

3. How do some people feel about you?: Bat Out of Hell

4. How do you feel about yourself?: Dead Ringer for Love

5. Describe your family: For Cryin' Out Loud

6. Where would you rather be?: Out of the Frying Pan (and Into the Fire)

7. Describe what you want to be: Special Girl

8. Describe how you live: Standing On the Outside

9. Describe how you love: I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)

10. Describe what you hate: Objects in the Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer than They Are


Ooh. I likeded this one. ^^
 The logged in version 

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