predestined
nothing excites me,
mundayne, restless,bored
I need a pick me up,
i need a bit more luck.
for everything around me i despise,
the jealousy, the distaste, the lies.
nothing excites me,
everything makes me wonder why.
is it only for me, for me to decide?
i need a pick me up,
and not to remember the night before.
that way it's not another thing to get me down
and i cant think about the ways in which im a whore.
Im the girl, takes another toke,
passes out in a room full of smoke.
the one who has no self repect,
the one who takes anything she can get.
Because im 17 and my emotions dont matter.
does he like me? are my thighs getting fatter?
she doesnt know about the pitter patter
of tiny feet, feet she has made,
because all she wanted was to get laid.
i look back at that girl,
she was only 17.
she lived life to the full,
but sex drugs and rock and roll,
took their toll.
Because nobody loves her, understands
all this girl wants is a nice and proper guy.
and all she finds is herself asking why?
as she cries and cries, and dies inside,
as something else grows,
grows from her recklessness
she was only 17,
and thats how she wrecked life for me
because that girl was anything but me.
Mundayne, restless, bored
i need a pick me up
because im the whore,
and im out of luck
because i dont remember the night before
because i dont want to be the mother,
the mother of a baby whos father
she never saw.
But its ok... drink another vodka,
im not a whore,
its not ever happened before
so why not?
im 17,
its ok.
an article 9writtein for the articles section of www.studentcen
Recently the news has been covering a story about a 16 year old satanist, Luke Mitchell who murdered his girlfriend Jodi last June. Luke Mitchell was said to be a "goth" by the press and a "satanist" and has recently been convicted of jodi's murder.
I am in no way saying that i am defending this obviously voilent boy's actions, but i feel that the press, and the public have taken this incident in a way that has made others suffer, me included.
Before i tell you about my experince, i would like to make some corrections to the press's obviously un-researched 'labels' given to Luke Mitchell. A boy who has the side of his lip pierced and wore baggy clothes and a Nirvana t-shirt is most decisively not a goth. Also i even doubt this boy practiced satanism in its real form, being a satanist , i think involves more than writing 666 on a school excercise book.
But back to the main point of this article, which is a little more pressing.
I was simply walking through the main lobby of the ozone cinema in oxford, a mere week after the incident when a woman with two young childen of about 6 and 8 came rushing up to me. Not only was i horrified by what she said to me, but my dad, in his mid forties also thought it was outrageous. "You, you teenagers make me sick, you stay away from all the children in this cinema, you satanistic murdering scum. You have aposolutly no right to show up in places like this so stay away from me and my children." This middle ages exstatic woman then turned to my father and exclaimed "How can you bring up your own child in such a way" and stormed away husling her confused looking children with her.
I stood still in shock for it seemed like minutes, but was actaually a matter of seconds, everyone in the cinema was staring at me, what had i done to deserve this outburst of rage? Nothing, i had simply been stereotyped in such an extreme way i had never though possible.
Later on during the day i made the connection, Luke Mitchell described by the press as a boy who wore black baggy clothes with a lip piercing. I had made the mistake (without realising it) of also wearing black baggy clothes and having a lip ring. That is the only connection i could see that explained this womans earlier outburst, and i was furious. I was a complete stranger to her, did she know me? did she realise i am a completly nice and reasnoble person to talk to and have no voilent tendancies whatsoever? Did she know i, in no way worship, or infact believe in satan or satanism? No. She simply made a huge assumption on my character based on my appearance, which i find highly disturbing.
Due to an incident involving on individual is it going to have a social backlash on anyone who chooses to have a similar appearance to me? I dont understand why so many people make these wild assumptions, i am always polite and curteous, and yet i have always been constantly judged, and now unfortunatly it seems i will be further judged to an extreme. I hope nobody else of a similar situation will ever experience something as horrible and misconcieved as i did that day, but i am asking this, is it human nature to stereotype? Is everyone ment to suffer for an individuals actions? Time will tell.