It has been a long time, since i have to reside myself to right again. I know i can't dissapoint my parent's anymore... they see how hard i work to try and get where i want to be. But it just seems like a levels are far above me. I cannot really explain, I'm just scared to let myself down. I'm not supposed to think like this and i am certainly not supposed to feel this weak. I make jokes like: ''Guess what mr cornish (after the 6th time he tried to explain sexual reproduction in plants) i give up... i'm just going to be a Hobo. Could be fun.'' But in simple terms i just do not wanna be me anymore. I hate the pressure and i hate the feeling like i'm never going to aspire to what i want to be. Which sucks i guess, as Mullin's tells me ''it's not crying it's called a breakdown Jess'' - but i have no faith in myself. I will be utterly amazed if i manage to pull this off. I so desperatly just want to start again because then i feel i have the time... it seems time is running out for me.
I couldn't stop the crying. I couldn't stop the harsh thing spinng arund in my head, you all tell me it's the stress, just seems like i cannot believe in myself anymore. I resign.
I Hate when people are nieve ... says the person who is the most niave person i know.. who never excepts his blame and makes it everyone elses fault.. hmmmmmmm i Guess he Hates Himself
fings to remember... for my groupies and the good old days in school....
i never know what to say and it's hurting me so much i know i just wana run to you and cry out all my fears, but we both know we'll never be the same. And i know i will have the instant reaction and hope to hold you once again i know ive lost you.... if i know all this then why don't i know what to say?
despite how much we all annoy each other i do love you... i feel let down by to many peeps that i trusted and i knwo its your way of doing things i just had more faith!!!! i just wanna start again and a clean slate! cos right now were not gettin anywhere xxxxx
hey hun, you know i love you but get some balls dont lie to jason it upsets me as well as it has upsetted him! i dont like having ago but im not gonna sit around and watch people especially joey get his hopes for nothing... alot of stuff about you means something to him and you dont realise... it makes me jealous but o well! so if you organise something with him and then ask him to make him stand you's up (i know joey asked him too, but at least explain to him whats really going on)... then dont come up with lame excuses! sorry but i have to say it because he wont he'l just let it ride and get himself down more!
singing in harmony
we know whats left
to dream about
and the light
it shines a brighter
kinder o' understanding
and the dreams
of those who need
what's shared, a rescuing
so, where we meet
where we see
and thoughts are taking over
may i help you sir
i will share your fears
save your tears
may i help you sir
i guide you far
further than the dark
and when i help you sir
forgive me if you please
Blood pastes the walls and floors, leaving the girls mark stained in the carpets. This is where she hides and where she cried her confessions, knowing the walls will keep her secret screams. She looks into a scraped and shattered mirror and sees what she dreads: the ten thousand images of her pale, withdrawn and withered look. Here the reflections portrays blood shot eyes that have sunken into her skull, where her uglyness is hidden, for she hasn't eaten in days.
Here, most would seek pity in such a shameful look, a girl starved, crying for help yet speechless, but i see the beauty in her sorrow...
Yes, i do see your dramatic reactions to something so propostrous but you will have to understand the beauty of the soul and mind to understand true delicate beauty! I see how she is on the edge of life and whos mind put her there. Now there is the beauty, an asstrocity among many a murderous minds. He was a man who enjoyed to push her to the edge, telling her love was only achievable through paranoia, misconception of society's beauty and pain. Do you still understand?!?!
xX-acissej-Xx
jimmy eat world- bleed america! (felt it worthy as i promised no knives)
I'm not alone cause the TV's on yeah.
I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday.
And rest, clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with
speyside with your grain.
Clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with speyside.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Our lives, our coal.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade.
Our lives.
I'm not alone cause the TV's on yeah.
I'm not crazy cause I take the right pills everyday.
And rest, clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with
speyside with your grain.
Clean your conscience, clear your thoughts with speyside.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Our lives, our coal.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade, our lives.
(I bled the) greed from my arm.
Won't they give it a rest now?
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt.
Our hearts littering the topsoil.
Tune in and we can get the last call.
Salt, sweat, sugar on the asphalt, our hearts littering the
topsoil.
Sign up it's the picket line or the parade.
its such a shame to let the only thing matter go, but the thing is which we don't understand is why we argue constantly! we try to forget the argument but i know in 5 mins we will pick right back up where we left off! im sick of crying and lettin you down constantly... always being the dissapointment
theres still a little dissapointment in the air
theres still this change i have come to fear
not wanting to feel our goodbye kiss
not wanting to see our farewell tear
and when this is all you've known to have left
and when all you want is our world to not stray
feeling these are our lost whispered words
feeling these are our last hopes slipping away
pardon me- by incubus
i guess its a pyromanics famous way to die!
shouting these whipers while scarring
shouting these whispers
and still you strain not to hear
these whispers sound like dripping scars
these words make no sense to us
and here is where we feel the same
just at this point in time we feel my shame...
but still you pretend not to hear!
xX-AcisseJ-Xx