[Shishiru]'s diary
anyone who be's the shi's friend, MUST know of her Saru-chan, [Not Anymore] and MUST know that they MUST comment!!: Rikki is... GO THERE!
I met greg...it was awesome...he's gay...
...
...
...
...
...
OMG YES!!!!! HIS BOYFRIEND IS SO HOT!!! *luffs on Monkey* SQUEEE!! I GOT TO DANCE WITH MONKEY AT THE DANCE!!! EEEE!!!
*holds up a sign, that says: "I SUPPORT GREG AND MONKEY!"*
Rawr!! im so amp'd! im so excited! Ohayo-con this weekend, baby!! >D im leaving in the middle of school thursday! YES! O>.<o best christmas gift EVER!!! now i just gotta make sure [Feroku] has the okay to go. =D YAAAAAY!! GREG AYRES, HON, HERE I COME 
YES, I am a HUGE Greg fan...have a problem with it? well, as they say, "Fook you!". Greg Ayres is my model in voice acting! and he is very kind and sweet (before you ask, yes, i HAVE met him, so fook off ><) *swoon* i love him. If i even decide to go into voice acting, i want to work for adv films! just like him!!
Faith Hill. 'Like we never loved at all'
You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath the city lights
There walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon
I swear you looked right through me
But I'm still livin' with your goodbye
And you're just goin' on with your life
Chorus:
How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all
You, I hear you're doin' fine
Seems like you're doin' well
As far as I can tell
Time is leaving us behind
(Leavin' us behind)
Another week has passed
And still I haven't laughed yet
So tell me what your secret is baby yeah
(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)
To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did
Chorus:
How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all
Did you forget the magic...ohh
Did you forget the passion
Did you ever miss me
Ever long to kiss meeeee....
Ohhhh ohohh ohh Baby, baby
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved...at all....
This is how im feeling with now, On christmas eve. Those of you who have known me for a while, you'll know who im thinking about. But dont get me wrong, Im happy wirh Rikki and Jack--happier than ive ever been... Ive just been thinking too much. again.
This diaryt entry if for one special friend i have, who's always been there no matter how bad i treated her in the past. Ive said it a million times, but, shit, all this stuff is going to change, starting with one letter.
[Vou], my "little annoying friend who sat at my front door one morning constantly rining my doorbell for hours", i know how much ive treated you so badly over the few years, and by gods i hate myself for it the more i think about it--so the best way to solve this problem, is to stand my lazy ass up and make a change! I'll send that damn letter, just as soon as i can...in...som
I love you, Hige--you're really my best best friend here in Ohio, and I miss talking to you, and laughing along with you and "Zeak" (lol). This is just a small token of my gratitude--hop
~Hopefully, still, you're best friend,
Shalissa, AKA, [Shishiru]
wahahaha..ha..
*dances*
Written about Sunday 2006-11-05
Written: (7155 days ago)
my heart beats so quickly
I cannot stop it
it beats so fast
faster and faster
happening before my eyes
I cant explain it
Those eyes
those beautiful brown eyes
almost a red in shade
not quite taken care of
but soft nonetheless
I run my hand through it
like water
it's heaven
it begins to hurt
it's sore, and bleeding
I do things i regret
i beat the shit out of myself
because i feel so terrible
such as the most beautiful of gems
Your personality glows
i am engulfed
Im surrounded by warmth
though however,
i am undeserving of it
it slips between my ribs
the warmth that ive barely known
that smile,
it fills me
is this love?
before we ever met
you ran into my arms,
and almost knocked me into
the man standing behind me.
We had a great time,
but by the time it was time to go
i could only smile
seeing those tears in your eyes
i avterted my gaze,
tried to make you think
of happier things,
but...
i couldnt do it for myself.
as i left that runway
I wanted to turn
run back into your arms
stay with you forever...
but I forced a smile
and kept my composure
to only cry a day later
when i couldnt do a thing
because i was so far away
and slowly being crushed
to death
by the severe weight
of my sadness
i felt my life draining
i was exhausted
but i was content
but i felt as if my heard was to bleed
nobody noticed my state but you
but you...
i could only hear your voice
through the tiny device i carry
you could not see me
not like the others...
i want to hold you close
kiss your soft lips once again
so please...
try hard for me
as i will for you.
This is my driven soul
i am determined
I know what i want
and what i charish...
they dont know my pain
i smile for them
and i tell them
'nothings wrong'
but in truth
my heart is empty...
i need your love, your affection
even if i were to bathe in your shadow
i would bathe untill i could not
and drown in my own tears
for me...for us...
...my love...
The outside world is taunting me. I hope tomoarrow goes so much better! I want someone to come up to me, and actually be happy to see me, happy that im alive! i want more than a 'good morning' or a 'hello' I want them to miss me, to hugs me, to tell me a bigger hello than just a boring old greeting! I need...I dont know...I need something, and it's a strong need! i need to feel...somethi
Written about Saturday 2006-11-04
Written: (7156 days ago)
MWAHAHAHAAAA!!
I have SUCCESSFULLY opened a PIXIE STICK with just my MOUTH and no SCIZZORS!!! MWAAAAHAHAHAHA
horray for finding out new URL... o.o
My old life as i know it is gone. I must start anew. No longer can i keep up, im running as fast as i can, but triping up has caused all whom i know to run ahead of me. Im left behind, with no one to help pick me up. Im left alone, and no body cares. I dont see them anymore, they've gotten far ahead, i cant see thier faces anymore, even when i try my best. My eyes are clouded by the fact they are too busy for the likes of me. Jobs, friends, lovers, all the more reason ive been kicked when im down, and left in the dirt. Im always here, alone, wasting my life away, and they dont seem to care or worry about me at all anymore. I cannot speak to them, they've moved on so quickly my words cannot reach them. I know not of which they speak...Im alone...i guess thats how they thought of my in the begining...jus
I am reminded of myself when i get mad at Rikki ([Not Anymore]) and a certain other couple whom these characters represent to me xD
Written about Wednesday 2006-09-20
Written: (7201 days ago)
*yawns* is it january yet?
"whats wrong now?"
-I have a reason to be upset. why must you ask me? I guess it's because im such a great kid and people love me i cant be upset. Well ill tell you, it's because of stupdi ASSHOLES who dont tell me ANYTHING! shit, i thought i was a friend, but it turns out im just some person who likes to bother you! I get it now...just because you've moved on, that makes me just another fucking person? I have feelings too, you prick! I help you through alot of shit! i even put you before myself a good HUNDRED fucking times!! why cant i get any recognition at all?! I thought we were friends...we have been, maybe for only three years, but you wouldnt be where you fucking are today if it wasnt for me!!
"whos messing with you?"
-Im not naming names, Im too fucking nice for any of that shit. I dont want to cause that person anymore fucking pain
"what did they do?"
-Only left me out of everything. Never telling me anything, and going ahead and GLOATING to me about what the HELL THEY DID!!! well i just DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE!!!
To the world: Brad Paisley
You're just another checking account
To the plumber that came today
You're just another house
At the airport ticket counter
You're just another fare
At the beauty shop at the mall
Well you're just another head of hair
Well that's alright, that's ok
If you don't feel important, honey
All I've got to say is
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world
You're just another tip
To the guy at the ice cream shop
You're just another dip
When you can't get reservations
'Cause you don't have the clout
Or you didn't get an invitation
'Cause somebody left you out
That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've got to say is
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world
When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes
And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me
When you don't feel important honey
All I've gotta say is
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world
Sheesh! everyones been showing me up! >< okay then, the entire fucking world is fucking better at EVERYTHING THAN ME!! are you happy?! God! i fucking suck at everything!!! I cant draw, i cant sing, Im no good at any of the shit i like!! so just go ahead, i dont fucking care anymore shit heads!!! [this isnt meant towards everyone...]
HAVE YOU?
1. Smoked a cigarette: no
2. Smoked a cigar: no
3. Snorted coke: no
4. Smoked Weed: no
5. Been high: no
6. Had sex: no
7. Said "I hope you die" to someone: yes (susan xD)
8. Tried to kill someone: no
9. Tried to kill yourself: no
10. Got in a fist fight: no
11. Lied to your parents: maybe my dad xD
12. Given someone a bruise: yes
13. Ditched someone: no
14. Freak danced: maybe...what does that mean?
15. Stole something: not that i can remember that wasnt already stolen from me (susan again --;)
16. Cut yourself: On accident o.O opening one of my moms boxes
17. Skipped school: no
18. Hung up on someone: yes
19. Threw up at school: yes
20. Done someone else's make-up: no...but i did put lipstick on my dad while he was sleeping once
21. Kissed someone of the same sex: yes
22. Had a burping contest: no
23. Snuck out: no
24. Been to a school dance: yes
25. Thought your teacher was hot: maybe o_o
Ahhha my fav question:
078: When you die, what will be your last words: nyaaa...i dunno...maybe 'I love you' to my lovers, 'thank you' to my friends, and 'Hah! I suck, im the youngest and im dying before you!' to my family if thier still alive XD
XD i remember that... [Rereading questionare]
IIIIM so HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY yes indeed, very Happy
To all my friends, i leave this note,
to all of those who sat and watched me gloat
"im free, im free, i can finally leave"
but now i sit here, in a corner and grieve.
I left without warning, not even a goodbye.
and on the first day at a new school, all i could do was cry.
They think im better off here, away from it all.
That i could have a perfect life, and no longer have to call.
They helped be stay strong,
when times went wrong.
We always got into fights, or got in trouble together.
I wish we could have stayed together forever.
How can i live without people like you?
So strong, so friendly, and yet strange too.
So here i am asking forgiveness, leaving you a note.
Never again will i say it, never again to gloat.
To my friends in New Hampshire, whom i left behind without thinking...im sorry...