"whats wrong now?"

-I have a reason to be upset. why must you ask me? I guess it's because im such a great kid and people love me i cant be upset. Well ill tell you, it's because of stupdi ASSHOLES who dont tell me ANYTHING! shit, i thought i was a friend, but it turns out im just some person who likes to bother you! I get it now...just because you've moved on, that makes me just another fucking person? I have feelings too, you prick! I help you through alot of shit! i even put you before myself a good HUNDRED fucking times!! why cant i get any recognition at all?! I thought we were friends...we have been, maybe for only three years, but you wouldnt be where you fucking are today if it wasnt for me!!

"whos messing with you?"

-Im not naming names, Im too fucking nice for any of that shit. I dont want to cause that person anymore fucking pain

"what did they do?"

-Only left me out of everything. Never telling me anything, and going ahead and GLOATING to me about what the HELL THEY DID!!! well i just DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE!!!

Sheesh! everyones been showing me up! >< okay then, the entire fucking world is fucking better at EVERYTHING THAN ME!! are you happy?! God! i fucking suck at everything!!! I cant draw, i cant sing, Im no good at any of the shit i like!! so just go ahead, i dont fucking care anymore shit heads!!! [this isnt meant towards everyone...]

HAVE YOU?


1. Smoked a cigarette: no
2. Smoked a cigar: no
3. Snorted coke: no
4. Smoked Weed: no
5. Been high: no
6. Had sex: no
7. Said "I hope you die" to someone: yes (susan xD)
8. Tried to kill someone: no
9. Tried to kill yourself: no
10. Got in a fist fight: no
11. Lied to your parents: maybe my dad xD
12. Given someone a bruise: yes
13. Ditched someone: no
14. Freak danced: maybe...what does that mean?
15. Stole something: not that i can remember that wasnt already stolen from me (susan again --;)
16. Cut yourself: On accident o.O opening one of my moms boxes
17. Skipped school: no
18. Hung up on someone: yes
19. Threw up at school: yes
20. Done someone else's make-up: no...but i did put lipstick on my dad while he was sleeping once
21. Kissed someone of the same sex: yes
22. Had a burping contest: no
23. Snuck out: no
24. Been to a school dance: yes
25. Thought your teacher was hot: maybe o_o

Ahhha my fav question:

078: When you die, what will be your last words: nyaaa...i dunno...maybe 'I love you' to my lovers, 'thank you' to my friends, and 'Hah! I suck, im the youngest and im dying before you!' to my family if thier still alive XD

XD i remember that... [Rereading questionare]

IIIIM so HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY yes indeed, very Happy

To all my friends, i leave this note,
to all of those who sat and watched me gloat
"im free, im free, i can finally leave"
but now i sit here, in a corner and grieve.
I left without warning, not even a goodbye.
and on the first day at a new school, all i could do was cry.
They think im better off here, away from it all.
That i could have a perfect life, and no longer have to call.
They helped be stay strong,
when times went wrong.
We always got into fights, or got in trouble together.
I wish we could have stayed together forever.
How can i live without people like you?
So strong, so friendly, and yet strange too.
So here i am asking forgiveness, leaving you a note.
Never again will i say it, never again to gloat.


To my friends in New Hampshire, whom i left behind without thinking...im sorry...

*sigh* . . . this week hasnt been so great. . .

~~~~~~~~~
~True Story~
~~~~~~~~~


A Religion teacher assigned her class an essay on what makes a good Christian. One student wrote about praying nightly, say no to abortion, banning gay marriage, and donating money. The other student wrote about talking to God and allowing people to enjoy their lives, and supporting gay marriage.


The day the teacher was to hand the papers back, she called up the second student and told him she would pray for him when he went to hell. The student asked why would he be going to hell, and why he got an F on his paper. The teacher told him that Catholisim is against gay marriage. The student looked at her for a minute, then said aloud, "I'm gay." The teacher kicked him out of class as if he had said fuck or worshipped Satan.


A girl in the back of class who had a boyfriend and was obviously straight got up and left too.


* If you would leave the classroom, repost this. It doesn't matter if you're straight, bi, or gay. It doesn't matter if you're Catholic or not. Everyone is a human being and deserves happiness. *

i would have kicked that teachers ass --; stupid people... Im Bi myself, so i know how the kid must have felt...people are stupid...just as it somewhat states in my speech on my house. Read it, and learn. If you dont like gay people, than shut your mouths and deal with your own problem, and dont take out your hatred on others, heartless assholes. 'God' as people call him (or whatever, im atheist, so i dotn give a shit) didnt make you hollow, selfish, heartless asswhipes.

poooooootaaaaaaatooooooo!!!!!!!

This is directed towards Big brother, Jack, Rikki, Master, and Kisa!

I GOT GOOD GRADES!!!! ^_^ (i dotn have my grade card with me at the moment...so i think these grades are right...)

C+
C+
B-
B+
B
B+
A-

Bad news....


I wont be on for probably a while at a time. My mothers computer's screen crashed, and her boyfriend is being extremely selfish and is only letting me use his for School stuff. I'll try my hardest to beg Susan to let me use hers(she loves me. Im sure she'll let me) untill i can contact [Explicit Lyrics]'s friend and mine, ben, so he can look at our old crashed computer to fix it...Wish me luck everyone u.u

Love
~Your Shi

P.S: Master and Kisa, Ill try to call every once in a while, kk? and you too Tana! love you guys! Bai!!

YAY!!!

Abandoned by my friends basically explains the life i am leading now...I still sit around them, but we dont speak anymore. They're always talking about thier 'latest obsessions' and when i try to join in, they quickly end my part of the conversation and start talking with each other. I dont sit with anyone else because it is extremely hard to find friends with my interests and lunch hour...I feel alone and empty every day at school...but for Jack, Rachel, Steph, Kisa, Marisa, Lina, Trent, Rick and Garrett's sake, ill hold onto what little i have...They are what is most important to me

When I close my eyes to sleep at night will you be in my dreams?
be there to wish me sweet dreams?
If I came to you, with tears in my eyes would you be there for me?
To let me cry, and comfort me?
If I were wounded would you come to my rescue?
When demons of despair come to consume me, will you defend me?
When my heart shatters, will you be the one to pick up the pieces?
Would you hold my hand, just for the sake of holding it?
Would you tell me, if something were bothering you?
If I told you I loved you, would you smile, and hold me close?
Would you do any of these things for me?
Because I would do them for you...always...

The 'crimes' of being in love are irrelevant. Don't ever force your love on someone. If you truly love them, with all your heart, let it be known to the whole world. Don't fear the opinions of others, it'll only hurt you, and them in the end. Stand proud for who you are, and live the life that was given to you in your own way. Love comes in many shapes, forms, and sizes, just like people -- if you can accept those of another race, and color--why be prejudice against the people who just want to love someone? Do people have a a sense of NEED to hate someone? to take out their own frustrations? Three rules are as follows for the life of love:


Love as you wish, but don't backfire (meaning, if you love someone, go to them, and stay there)
love whom you hold dearest, not whom you want for pleasure, or not whom you just want them to 'be happy'
and never let them go, for the sake of satisfying another


If someone cannot accept you for who and what you are you shouldn't let them bother you. The world is, sadly, filled with a lot of cruel people--but not just cruel people--There are plenty of kind, loving people, who will be your friend, and open the doors to their heart for you. Do not think of them as weak, for they might be hurting too...


The people of this world don't understand...it isn't the fact that if a country, or a single person is stronger, and more powerful than you,that you have to fight---Fighting is born from the hatred that our ancestors put upon us, some hoping one day we would achieve peace...we have greatly let them down, but a small bit of us are still left to live that perfect world... waiting, and hoping that people will set down their weapons, and life their lives...if you're nice to someone, they'll be nice back...if you expect help, don't steal it, ask for it, if you don't get it, keep trying.


As was stated before...live the life that's given to you, and don't take anyone's opinions to heart...You are your own person, don't let anyone affect who you are. Three rules of living are as follows:


Love who you are
Love what you are
Be yourself, but don't go out of your way to hurt another person for who and what they are--because they haven't done it to you.


This is just a piece I wrote early in the morning...I do hope it strikes something in peoples hearts... Im Bisexual myself, so don't think I wrote this without knowing how others like me feel...I love Rachel, and I love Jack--I love all my friends, and none of that is a lie. I choose to live this way, because I feel it's right. Seeing other people happy, makes me happy. I love making others feel safe, secure, and loved. If anyone has any troubles, please don't be afraid to come to me, we're not just friends just because we can...friendship, in my eyes, is a powerful thing.


I live by the rule of equality, where no matter what race, religion, physical, mental or emotional problem, eye color, hair color, attitude, habits, disabilities, or...sexual preference... That all people are the same, and were born for a reason. I, myself, hold no religion, so I get a lot of barking from people, but that doesn't change how I feel, and it shouldn't for you, either.


~[Shishiru]
11/23/05


p.s: message me, and tell me how you think

stupid attacks...yeah master, garrett, and rikki, you heard me ^^; message me if you're curious...

My day went by yesterday...thats all i can say

bad things: some idiot almost litterally killed me, but they got lucky: I was in my last, and final costume (a mixture of all my three costumes for when i bow) so i had my pipe in my mouth. I had to go get someone who was going to miss thier cue, so i got up, and tried to go down the steps---that was when SOME idiotic boy (couldnt see who it was, it was pitch black) came running up the steps, and since im short his chest smacked into my face---At the time i was trying to take the pipe out from my mouth, so when he hit me, it jerked back in, and scratched up the top of my mouth...He got lucky because if the pipe wasnt being taken out, the part that goes in my mouth is so long it could have pierced my throat and killed me instantly....then, my other fairgoer misses her cue--actually, she never made it on stage, so i had to act out both our parts... --; saying lines that wern't even in the script...i yelled at her after, of course

good things: lowest grade i got was a c+...biology...

Im just ticked off at that kid is all...i mean...I told my girlfriend and she was frantic, and pissed off...I could have been killed...thank goodness my hand was there -_-; lucky batard (i say that instead of the actual word)...

well here i am...alone on my own birthday...norm and mom are at work 'till late, and Ry...Ry and Keith are at the barn, untill late too... the only ones here are the two dogs, my two cats, and my rabbit (whom im letting run around the house all day)...

Plus, online i have a Rikki... *hug* I love you, Rachel

^-^ someones been trying to agravate me by calling me nasty names...well...I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but ti doesnt affect me, Here's why

Whore: Im used to the word, my father called my mother one all the time, and said i'd whind up juuuust like her--and I love my mom, so im happy to be just like her
Bitch: I am a female, and im a dog--Lower than dirt, so it doesnt matter ^^
Fucker: so, you're saying im in love? Why thank you
Fat: ^^ teehee, Garrett's already taught me better than that