Abandoned by my friends basically explains the life i am leading now...I still sit around them, but we dont speak anymore. They're always talking about thier 'latest obsessions' and when i try to join in, they quickly end my part of the conversation and start talking with each other. I dont sit with anyone else because it is extremely hard to find friends with my interests and lunch hour...I feel alone and empty every day at school...but for Jack, Rachel, Steph, Kisa, Marisa, Lina, Trent, Rick and Garrett's sake, ill hold onto what little i have...They are what is most important to me

When I close my eyes to sleep at night will you be in my dreams?
be there to wish me sweet dreams?
If I came to you, with tears in my eyes would you be there for me?
To let me cry, and comfort me?
If I were wounded would you come to my rescue?
When demons of despair come to consume me, will you defend me?
When my heart shatters, will you be the one to pick up the pieces?
Would you hold my hand, just for the sake of holding it?
Would you tell me, if something were bothering you?
If I told you I loved you, would you smile, and hold me close?
Would you do any of these things for me?
Because I would do them for you...always...

The 'crimes' of being in love are irrelevant. Don't ever force your love on someone. If you truly love them, with all your heart, let it be known to the whole world. Don't fear the opinions of others, it'll only hurt you, and them in the end. Stand proud for who you are, and live the life that was given to you in your own way. Love comes in many shapes, forms, and sizes, just like people -- if you can accept those of another race, and color--why be prejudice against the people who just want to love someone? Do people have a a sense of NEED to hate someone? to take out their own frustrations? Three rules are as follows for the life of love:


Love as you wish, but don't backfire (meaning, if you love someone, go to them, and stay there)
love whom you hold dearest, not whom you want for pleasure, or not whom you just want them to 'be happy'
and never let them go, for the sake of satisfying another


If someone cannot accept you for who and what you are you shouldn't let them bother you. The world is, sadly, filled with a lot of cruel people--but not just cruel people--There are plenty of kind, loving people, who will be your friend, and open the doors to their heart for you. Do not think of them as weak, for they might be hurting too...


The people of this world don't understand...it isn't the fact that if a country, or a single person is stronger, and more powerful than you,that you have to fight---Fighting is born from the hatred that our ancestors put upon us, some hoping one day we would achieve peace...we have greatly let them down, but a small bit of us are still left to live that perfect world... waiting, and hoping that people will set down their weapons, and life their lives...if you're nice to someone, they'll be nice back...if you expect help, don't steal it, ask for it, if you don't get it, keep trying.


As was stated before...live the life that's given to you, and don't take anyone's opinions to heart...You are your own person, don't let anyone affect who you are. Three rules of living are as follows:


Love who you are
Love what you are
Be yourself, but don't go out of your way to hurt another person for who and what they are--because they haven't done it to you.


This is just a piece I wrote early in the morning...I do hope it strikes something in peoples hearts... Im Bisexual myself, so don't think I wrote this without knowing how others like me feel...I love Rachel, and I love Jack--I love all my friends, and none of that is a lie. I choose to live this way, because I feel it's right. Seeing other people happy, makes me happy. I love making others feel safe, secure, and loved. If anyone has any troubles, please don't be afraid to come to me, we're not just friends just because we can...friendship, in my eyes, is a powerful thing.


I live by the rule of equality, where no matter what race, religion, physical, mental or emotional problem, eye color, hair color, attitude, habits, disabilities, or...sexual preference... That all people are the same, and were born for a reason. I, myself, hold no religion, so I get a lot of barking from people, but that doesn't change how I feel, and it shouldn't for you, either.


~[Shishiru]
11/23/05


p.s: message me, and tell me how you think

stupid attacks...yeah master, garrett, and rikki, you heard me ^^; message me if you're curious...

My day went by yesterday...thats all i can say

bad things: some idiot almost litterally killed me, but they got lucky: I was in my last, and final costume (a mixture of all my three costumes for when i bow) so i had my pipe in my mouth. I had to go get someone who was going to miss thier cue, so i got up, and tried to go down the steps---that was when SOME idiotic boy (couldnt see who it was, it was pitch black) came running up the steps, and since im short his chest smacked into my face---At the time i was trying to take the pipe out from my mouth, so when he hit me, it jerked back in, and scratched up the top of my mouth...He got lucky because if the pipe wasnt being taken out, the part that goes in my mouth is so long it could have pierced my throat and killed me instantly....then, my other fairgoer misses her cue--actually, she never made it on stage, so i had to act out both our parts... --; saying lines that wern't even in the script...i yelled at her after, of course

good things: lowest grade i got was a c+...biology...

Im just ticked off at that kid is all...i mean...I told my girlfriend and she was frantic, and pissed off...I could have been killed...thank goodness my hand was there -_-; lucky batard (i say that instead of the actual word)...

well here i am...alone on my own birthday...norm and mom are at work 'till late, and Ry...Ry and Keith are at the barn, untill late too... the only ones here are the two dogs, my two cats, and my rabbit (whom im letting run around the house all day)...

Plus, online i have a Rikki... *hug* I love you, Rachel

^-^ someones been trying to agravate me by calling me nasty names...well...I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but ti doesnt affect me, Here's why

Whore: Im used to the word, my father called my mother one all the time, and said i'd whind up juuuust like her--and I love my mom, so im happy to be just like her
Bitch: I am a female, and im a dog--Lower than dirt, so it doesnt matter ^^
Fucker: so, you're saying im in love? Why thank you
Fat: ^^ teehee, Garrett's already taught me better than that

Havnt done a diary in forever ^^; my bad...

Nyaaaaa, Im shoooo in love with Rachel and Jack! -^^- *swoon* they're both so cute! I hope I'll NEVER have to loose either of them!

Im also obsessed with T.M.R...but thats another story XD his music rules!!

SO HAPPY!!! -^^- TIBBYS ALIVE!!!

Tibby (Tiffany) was my friend living down in Louisiana, and im so glad she's safe *hugs her* -^^-

WHEEE!!

Dad and one brother arrived at 9 this morning...i got 5 hours of sleep...i had stayed up untill 4 drawing... we went out to find dad and shane a motel...then we came back, got mom, and went to see [Rydia](my sister)'s horse, prince. Then we went to Boston Market, ate food. Dad refused to eat with us... Then we went to the store, and i got a couple books, then we went to the movies, and saw 'Battle of the Worlds' or whatever...and i had a puddle of floating butter in my bag, it was fasinating... then we came home, and then there was a thunderstorm...g2g...bai... *sigh* i miss them...

couldnt get to sleep...then finally woke up at 4 with a stomach ache, untill 5:30, then woke up again at 12:30, had to clean room, throwing alot of good stuff out, had to babysit, and explain alot of crap...then i get a nasty stomach ache...yup, thats my day

Im very proud of myself...

I sent the message. Im waiting for the time they return to reply to it... I hope it's a positive answer o.O