I'm laughing.
You know why?
Nic just told the amest joke ever, and I found it funny.
I find this funny.
Joke:
i realised i was dislecsic when i went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm lame.

Hugh rang earlier to see if I wanted to go to Cheltenham with him tomorrow. And got annyoed when i said I cant cuz Im going skating with tommy and co.
He tried to get me to ditch them!
I told him to bugger off and re-schedule the cheltenham trip.
wow everyone loves me.

its because my hair is a funny colour I reckon.

Well I just did a mock driving theory test.

Two infact.
Both out of 35.
In the first one I got 20 and the second i got 23.
You had to get 30 to pass.
My excuse is that i havent yet read my highway code book so thats why I failed. One day i shall read the book and pass with flying colours.
I start learning to drive next month, cuz I'll be 17 in 23 days!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOo

yes.

Belgian Grand Prix was fantastic!
If you missed, pleas eplease please watch the repeats.

Schuey woowey did not win. I shall say no more than the british national anthem got played afterwards.....

mysterious eh?!

The funniest hting happened this afternoon.
I few diary entries ago I said somehting about those fecking call centres....
Well one called and I carried out Plan E, sort of.

I am Mrs Jones, I already have seven life insurance companies, yes I am married, yes I do have children, five little sweethearts to be exact. Do I have to disclose my age? Ok I'm 44. No I'm afriad i don't know my post code.
Yes I do smoke, yes i drink rather more than the average person, yes I am extremely health conscious, i go running twice a week.
Another Life Insurance Policy? That sounds fantastic. No I'm afraid i don't have a bank account. When will I be receiving more details on this not-to-miss offer?
7 working days? That sounds grand.
Yes My name is Lianne Springer. Lianne spelled Leeeethaunne. Yes the TH is silent, my mother is not british.
How will i be paying?

Oops I hung up.

The woman RANG BACK! And spoke to my mum who said that Lianne Springer did not live in this house, she has never lived in this house and would these bloody call centres please stop bothering her.

I, Martyn, Nikki, Mum and our next door neighbours who came round for a chat all broke up laughing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

I got a well done card from my grand dad in wales it reads:

Konngratulachions onn yor rezults! Hi gott han Hay inn splellin!

how funny!!!
I was laughing for about half an hour!
So anyway, i went to Tommy's house yesterday for a BBQ and it was really nice.
I have a usual group that i hang around with and I love them all to pieces but last night was a nice change because I got to see the people that I don't see very often at school because they were in a different population. The only person from my usual friendship group who went was george.
It was weird from the start really because i got handed a lager, i never drink lager! Other weird things included playing table badminton, getting lost on the way to the loo, drinking three more lagers, eating sausages (i don't eat sausages), getting tommy's feet shoved in my face and launching a foam rocket down the garden.
i was really scared of going but I'm glad i did!

I love nosh and mooners more though!

I got my results!!!!!!!!!!!!
Want to see them?

ok:
A* - French!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A- German!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
B- Englishes, IT, Drama, RE, Tech, double science
C - Maths

are you proud? I am.
I wasn't when I first got them, but its sunk in and they are actually quite good grades, so there you go.
*runs aorund*

we go back to school next thursday!!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Been in St ives since last thursday and got back today.
It was fun.
I'll write abot it when I can be bpthered, I'm catching up with forums at the mo.

The most gorgeous guy just came to the front door....
I'm not wearing make up dammit.
Could have been worse, i could have been in my jim jams whic has happened before with the nice guy across the road.
This guy (Ben) was trying to sell us windows. I will persuade Martyn to get windows from him just so he can come again.
he gave me his number! But only cuz he wants me to buy his windows.
I'll buy whatever he wants me to I don't care!
Phwoar.....

Ok, heres the plan.
The next time one of those call centres call again asking for mr or mrs jones I will be prepared.

plan A.
Tell them their stupid because my mum is not married to martyn, she is infact mrs springer so those twats should do their research properly.

Plan B
I AM mrs Jones, Mr Jones has been having an affair with his secretary and has left me with four screaming kids which i had just managed to get to sleep before the phone rang and woke them up. The call centre man is an insensitive bastard.

Plan C
No they aren't here, they're at work doing proper jobs, giving back to the community and all that.

Plan D
I am MR Jones, my hormone therapy is going too well.

Plan E.
Yes this is Mrs Jones and I am very interested in what you have to sell, does it come in Pink? What is the diameter of the cable I need? Whats the address of the factory it will be made in? What nationality are the installers? Whats your name dear?

Plan F.
Copy exactly what the people are saying e.g.
Hello this is James from Manchester
Hello this is James from Manchester
and so on.

come on call centre.

*swoons*
Nic is a really nice guy, you know?

Ting!

Well I got woken up at 6.20 this morning by the sodding recycling lorry with its workers with horrible common accents telliing dirty jokes or whatever it is they do.
I sound like such a snob but I'm well pissed off. I should still be in bed NOW! But i can't sleep.
Bastards.

HAHAHAHAHA I couldn't resist.....


I find it funny anyway....

BALLROOM BLITZ!!!!!!!!

I just read my old diary entries due to lack of interesting things to occupy my mind with. I laughed, like a drain.
I am now eating apot noodle with chopsticks. I blame mooners.
Why is no one online?!?!?!?! No doubt all my friends actually have interesting lives so they're out shopping or trainspotting or playing football in the rain, or something.
Bastards.
Today begins my new policy, I have to try and eat every meal with chopsticks.
That should brighten up my life somewhat.
Its Monday today, theres porbably somehting really important going on that everyones at and they're stood there wondering where th hell i am because i forgot.
WAIT!!!!
Nic's online *dies*
OK I'm off now!

Well today I was going to finish making a website for someone downb the road, and then realised we don't have publisher, and I can't use Frontpage. I don't know why, we just don't agree. So I swore
So instead I wernt to bravenet to get some html codes for the website once I have publisher. And they no longer have marquees. So I swore again.
Then I found something about domain names and got the prices for those.
Then i decided to make my own website but remembered I don't have publisher. So I swore for a third time. Then i realised I wouldn't know what to mke my website about anyway. Recognising my stupidity i swore.
So I typed up the new rocky horror show bit i wrote the toher day, tried to continue it and ran out of imagination. I didn't even have the imagnination to think of a new swearword so i used the one I had already used four times today.

Wow.

my day in a nutshell.

One day I was walking along the road, quite innocently when a large nut came along. Opened up and swallowed my day.
Unfortuantely, my day is claustrophobic and did not like this very much.
So my day screamed and scratched and scrabbled at the inside of the nutshell until its fingernails fell off and its voice became hoarse.
I had seen the whole charade and decided to rescue my day from the day swallowing nutshell, grabbed a jack hammer and attached said nutshell.
My day was saved.
We went home and had tea.
The end.

Well first off, I found fish I want. However they can't be called Fred and George because they aren't orange, they're blue.
Instead I will call them Crotchet and Quaver because I think that's cool.
So today, I listenened to my Rocky Horror Show soundtrack and carried on writing the Harry Potter version. I've only done up to Damnit janet which proved very difficult because nothing rhymes with Hermione so I had to shorten it to Hermy. When it is finished I'll give you the wiki page it is on and you can read my genius.
Yeh.

What else?
I'm going shopping AGAIN this afternoon but this time in Cheltenham, I've never been before apart from the Everyman to see Bouncers and The Rocky Horror Show starring no other than Mr Jonathan Wilkes *drools*. So it should be fun.

Tommy wants me to do a striptease for him. I said no.
I do however owe him a kiss apparently so there you go.
I do however draw the line at stripteases. I have no desire to see Tommy naked and I'm sure it is also vice versa.
So there you have it.

Well I was moody this morning....

Every single bloody morning for the past god knows how long, I've been woken up by dogs barking over the road at about 10.30. This morning however, they started yapping at 9.30, and I wasn't pleased.
So I got up, stormed downstairs and told Martyn if those fucking dogs bark one more fucking time I'm going to skin them, shoot the fuckers, bake them and serve them in a pie.
Aren't i such a charming girl?
Anyway, I have an action packed afternoon ahead of me, involving sainsbury's, tescos and the garden centre where I get to LOOK at fish and tanks but I can't have any until my birthday :(
*sobs*
I'm hungry...

Marauders picture is FINISHED, well almost, it needs a background....
I've started more, but none of them are finished because I have a nasty habit of never finishing things.

***In other news***

I woke up the other morning to find my hair is bright red. It has nothing to do with the hair dye mousse, me, nosh and mooners bought on tuesday and definitly nothing to do with the oodles of said mousse I applied to my hair tuesday afternoon.
Absolutely nothing.
I don't know how it could have happened....
What i do know though is that my nan is very disappoibnted in me because she tstarted tugging at random strands, tutting and saying "Oh no dear... oh no."
The thing is, i cannot do anything to my hair in her opinion because it 'just isn't me' wheras my darling little sister could dye hers bright blue and it would 'suit her down to the ground' whats with that? Am I not allowed to change?
Also have anew outfit, chosen my nosh and moon themselves. Their new game is 'dress bob'
I'm like a walking, talking dolly with feelings! Its quite fun actually. And I half trust them not to make me look really stupid.
Also, according to Moon, I am Lipgloss because I need constant touching up.
I am afraid to admit its true.
*wails*
*other members of councilling group clap and cheer and pat me on the back*

Good god I'm tlaking crap.
Anyway, best go because I'm meeting Amers at One and its now 12.26 and i have to have some dindins...

i drew a picture of the marauders today and was foolish enough to show moon and nosh. i posted it on the gaybar and moon changed the password so i can't take it down...
grrrr

Today.
Is Martyn's *cough* 32nd *cough* birthday, so Happy Birthday Martyn.
To celebrate this momentous occasion, myself, nikki, mutti and martyn are having a meal at the dil raj this very evening, so if you plan to go there, don't.
In other news, a water fight broke out in my back garden today between the four memebers of my family. We all got considerably wet and martyn oured a hole contianer full of freezing cold water in my pants.
I now have a very bad headache and a sore eye because nikki squirted it with the hose pipe on full strength.
It hurt.