Life has always been a mystery to me as far as I can remember, but I guess that's what I have always loved about it. Letting things get to me, and then trying to solve or change that problem or confusion into a an educated motive. I hope that made sense. At least it does to me anyway XD! I miss drawing so much, remembering how to get the feeling of what i should draw, I find that harder than just simply drawing just buy looking at another picture. Although I am not good at drawing life like portaits, I am learning and getting a little better at drawing faces, eyes, ears and noses on the characters that other people or an individual has drawn. No! I don't intend to portray the same duplicates. That would be rude and wrong to copy some one elses work and say that it is your own when in fact it is a copy you were inspired by.
I intend draw more of similar characteric faces I have been drawing later. It is a challenge only because I find that it takes almost all my energy to draw something I really want to draw and try to be patient about it at the same tim. I do find drawing fun, but I wouldn't take it as a career, only because I would be too stressed and know that I will do bad.
I am however getting inspired by Jackie bow and arrow! the more I learn to shoot with the bow and arrows, the more I become so fascinated and want to practice more on shooting at the huge target she has. I can't remember what it's called, but it has circles and is extremely thick so that the arrows don't go all the way through it. T.T I feel horrible for say this, but some times i just can't wait go back to her house in order to attempt to practice shooting with the bow and arrow. I mean..I feel like LINK ALMOST!! or ROBIN HOOD!! *_* I know..it's weird to think of myself as a guy, but I wasn't intending to feel like a guy! Those non-fictional characters just popped into my head like a dream!
I've gotta go to bed...I should..but I just can't stop thinking about the bow and arrows..it feels almost perfect holding them in the palms of my hands.
Well..I guess good night..or good morning XD..-.- T_T

Not always going to be on here as I usual, but who the hell cares. What the hell do I want?? John keeps asking me and i still don't know that answer, but then some times i actually find an inspiration then some how loose it @__________@ Whhhhyyyyyy!!I feel better almost more then some times at imes just writing things down or typing nothingness on the computer. ..Life is about to show me how much I am about to fuck myself over.. can feel it..and the only thing I can really do is either watch or ..I don't know, exercise or something.

Dear diary,

   Im driving myself freaking nuts just stepping out the door and thinking, "WHY IN THE HELL DIDN'T I GET MY PERMITT OR TRY TO GET MY LICENSE SOONER I AM SUCH A MORON!!!!!! I SWEAR TO GOD IT'S DRIVING ME BONKERS AND IS PISSING ME OFF SO MUCH!!!!!!!AND ALL BECAUSE I FELT THE MANUAL WAS TO FUCKING LONG TO READ AND ANNOYING BECAUSE TO ME I SLOWLY HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE SAY AND WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!

-CERES-_____-*SCREAMING INTO PILLOW*

Dear Diary,

    I know I'm not always wise and there when it comes to talking to some people and understanding what they're talking about so much, but I do care. My sister makes a better person who talks to people and tries to help them out person than I do. some times I feel like I want to and try to act like my sister. It is every hard to explain for me to say how and why I find Theresa is one of the people whom I want to be like. Every time i be my self, people make so many annoying comments and look at me funny. it drives me crazy. the thing is it's always been so hard to do the things I want to do with out feeling embarassed and paranoid. i so badly just don't want to care, but I do. *mummbles to self* ya ya all part of growing up blaablaaabbblllaaa. I miss John I still can't help, but feel so jealous of him and yes I have adimitted it to him, an d i don't care if I spelled that word wrong. It's my diary I can do what ever I want. I love you johnny so much. every morning I am always so afraid that I won't see you in the morning as in going to where my friends and you meet. i want to be with you for a long time. I have alraedy written a paragraph haha. I can't wait until I talk to you again. i love you Johhny. Well, I don't really feel liek typing any more to my diary or journal what ever the things called. later! I LOVE JOHNNY SO MUCH!
           <3 Skittles

Why must men have crushes on me now?, as in as a teenager, why not when I was little? Was too ugly and annoying when i was little? Only god knows why. Is it that I have changed my looks now from when I was little, especially my additude? Only God knows. I can't draw this stupid hand the way I want to draw it it's stressing me out. Stupid stress. It is a part of life. I feel so annoyed right now. my life right now so doesn't make sense to me right now. it's because of all the stupid thinking, I don't know to find a way in releasingthe feelings i hold and may be it's because long ago, I used to be a jerk to others and was acting like a very selfish and annoying girl. I hope I hae changed a little since then. <3 Skittles

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm seeing the new Harry Potter movie Wednesday :D !!! It will be so awsume!! lol evil spelling.....*hiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssss* I don't care if I spelled hisssssss wrong! Ya I am indeed bored at this time, but soon I will not for i will watch DN Angel soon and I will laugh harder than I ever laughed before and no one shall stop me no one LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^ Otay I'm finished Hehehehehehheheheheheheheheh. <

I must be the most boring person right now. There is like not a lot of excitement in my life except for the fact that i have a bf. my mom bought me two new white shirts today and there is only one that look like a t-shirt I admire greatly. My friend is tryin to find me on here now. LOL, she says she wants to stock me lol!!!!(as j/k) I really need to do something on the website. I am still a newbie though meeeeehhhhhhhhhh...LOL I took 2-3 naps today. I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight. Oh wells. I was planning on randomly playing basketball today, but then people came over and we had a party. She found me finally and seems confused.     
I shall talk later! byes!<3 Skittles