I dont know whats going on anymore it feels like my life is just slipping out of my control and im totally scared to death everything used to be so good but now it seems like nothing ever go's right and im just sick and tired of it i tired of not havin a job, tired of my life feeling like it has no meaning and most of all i am tired of being alone there is this girl that is without doubt the most amazing person that i have ever met and i like her so much but there is nothing that i can do about it because we dont live in the same town or state which isnt much of a big deal but there are other things that im not gonna get into at the moment but they are a pretty big deal and i just care about her so much and am scared of losing her friendship cause i think that may be all i ever have with her but anyways i am just having some pretty big problems at least to me they are big and i know that everythign would be alright if i could just lay it all out and give it all to GOD but it is just hard and im not sure what to do well anyways i havent told anyone any of this so i had to let it out some how before i exploded so i thought this would be the best way to vent it all out and i know that no one will probaly read it so yeah thats about it for now i will probaly be back later to vent somemore