I hate it when people are all asses and decide to say that their lives are extrodinarily crappy. First of all, if their lives would be extrodinarily crappy they wouldn't have a computer because they wouldn't be able to use it. Secondly half of them don't even get abused or are malnurished. God, i'm happy to get that off my chest....people will not pity you if you try and get yourself to be pitied and if you needed to be comforted than you wouldn't make it so damn obviose that you need to be comforted.

Ok now to a totally different kind of entry, i want a boyfriend. Now, please, don't ask to go out with me because i wouldn't, it would be a virtual relationship and it also wouldn't be any fun. You can't say thing to comfort me. and whats with those people who ask to go out with somebody on the internet? Than they say it was a joke to have cyber. Cyber is a very desparate way to 'have sex' unless you go to hookers. if you cyber than you are imagining what it would actually be like and think that you would enjoy the real thing. The two of them are very different. But i still want a boyfriend. I don't know anybody that i would actually want to go out with because there is nobody i like that much anymore accept for kenneth but he wouldn't go out with me even if i paid him. wait...if i paid him i think i would but even i'm not that desparate.

I wonder what my wedding would look like once i do get married. I picture something, but it's not that realistic, i mean, it would't be a wedding if i had that kind of stuff....

meh....i'm getting rather chubby again, i have to cut down on the sweets again. Damnit! Oh well....it kinda sucks considering all the weight i tried so hard to lose. This may very well be the most stupid comment i put in this diary but i really want to get a boyfriend. Why may you think that itz a stupid comment? Well because nobody i know likes me or will go out with me. i want to go out with kenneth but i dont like him as much anymore. just because i know he won't go out with me and it feels wierd liking him and not getting liked back. i'm not sure our relationship would work either. I guess we're just not meant to be.....but than who is?

hahahahaha....kenneth will never like me even though i love him lots...but anyways...about a week ago we went to came...i kept sitting on his lap and he kept sitting in mine at the camp fire....than in the morning we kept on hugging and stuff because we were playing this wierd game in out free time.....than he came over when i was sitting on the wet grass and said, "Why are you sitting on the wet grass?" I said, "Because i've fallen and i can't get up." which i find really amusing. He said, 'Well, why don't you get up?" I said, "I just told you, i've falled and i cant get up" he said, "Do you want piggy back ride to breakfast?" I said, "Sure." So i gotted on his back and he carried me to breakfast while we spokeded for a while. Than after breakfast he said, "You owe me a piggy back ride." He was surpirisingly light for being so tall. So than i caried him for a bit. Than Andrea made us all hold hands all the way to the flagpole which was really far....oh well...i still think he just wants to be friends and i even have my doubts about that....oh i really like him..

tralalalalala

tweezing my eyebrows truly hurts...OWEY!!!! YAY!!! Three members in the Almighty church of Foamy

La dee daa!!!!! i'm very amused by jill...she's doesn't make sense....she wrote this thinger on this website that she hates people who label themselves and said accept goths because they're not people, they're pale faced demons....she just took a group of labeled people and said that they are not people...HAHAHA!!!! how stupid is that? Than she said that i she started the knee high sock trend and that I copied her!!!! What kind of bullshit is that? Firstly i got my knee high socks last summer and i wore them on the second day of school and i never even knew who exactly she was....all i knew was that she went to the same horsecamp...which she did....and i found out later that she was the sane jill that my ex told me about....she is so annoying.....shes also funny...she thinks that she is 'cool' and she's very self centered....and she thinks that she doesn't like being cool because people copy her...tomorrow i'm going to wear my cat in the hat hat and see what she has to say about it...she'll say that it's stupid and only because she never thought of it!!!! I want to see the look on her face when i show up and a hat two feet high and striped with red and white....she copied my pigtails....i wear pigtails to school everyday and she said that I copied her pigtail because we wore them on the same day but i wear them everyday so she can;t she crap about my pigtails....

i think there is seriously something wrong with me. I get mad very easily and depressed really easily and when people here on elftown or other people think that i am just an imature little girl it isn't very nice and comforting. the only reason i am still going on (not alive if you're thinking that i want to kill myself because i don't really like suicidal people) i mean without breaking down and start crying or something is because i have realized that i have friends and i also realize that not everybody is judging me. If they where i'd know that i am better than them because i am not judging them. I asume everybody is looking at me and laughing at me and i think i might have some imbalance in my brain. I probably don't but i have a lot of problems that most people i know don't so most probably it's just my own imagination. I really hope that i don't have an imbalance in anything because i have a lot of other problems i need to get sorted out.

I must think happy thoughts, friends....i haven't spoken to them in a while...maybe i should *ponders* i can always write my story....it's rather funny so it might help me a bit. Maybe i should clean....as much as i hate it...i will have room to actually do stuff.

I thinki 'll try and make some more friends on ET....it's sad because im trying to make friends with someone and they probably think that i'm just some little girl who wants to have magnificant friends or just talk to people....

OOO...i just watched without a paddle with my friend....It was funny....la dee da....*is bored out of mind*
It's really funny when really ugly ass girls talk about how im not all that great looking and they give me looks and all i can do is talk about them really, really loudly so they can hear and than they get their really ugly and tall boyfriends to come and try to scare the shit out of me....the thing is....it's right in front of the mall so even if they did...there's about fifty billiion people who would see them...
la dee da...ABORT THE FETAL POSITION!!!!!

I am finallt getting happy...i have great friends that i care about and they care about me, i of course still get depressed as hell but than again....everybody gets depressed once in their lives....i just get depressed more than they do....But what i don't like is when people won't stop telling me how im a poser...whst am i posing as? If they can tell me that, that would be great.....they don't even know me....Aw well...schools starting soon!!!!!
Oh yes...and remind me never to wear ambers boots on the uneven ground....it hurts my feet and i can't walk properly after a while......They are like...four inches high....
I need to do something!!!! I want to do something!!!
ok....im writing in my diray...thats something....

Why is life so depressing? Why am i always depressed? Why do i have to be more upset than other people? Did i do something terribly wrong? What is wrong with everybody anyways? I never did anything to them to be treated like complete shit...ah well, i don't really give a crap.....but do they always have to be such assholes?

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.....so bored...so bored....i wants a life!!!!! boredy bored bored......