I'm wearing my favourite shirt at the moment. so that deserves a diary entry.

it's this blue and white plaid flanel shirt that i found at my family cottage years ago that belonged to my grandfather Erkki.
I've always worn it on special days only. Today is a special day. :) yey

I have fallen in love with the most wonderful girl I have ever met. Although she lives in Canada, far far away from here... when I'm talking to her, it's like she's in the same room with me.



*sigh*

it's weird for me to write these sort of things in my diary. i usually just keep everything bottled up inside me. And i prefer saying such emotions as love to her instead write it here. but still i need to outlet a few things from time to time.

My grandmother Kerttu died this week's Wednesday night at the age of 81. She had had a stroke and because of that she had been rushed to a hospital. Later, the doctors realized, that behind all that, was cancer. She died at 2:34. May she rest in peace. I am now in a phase of complete denial; the first phase of grief and loss. I can still picture her, at her home, knitting me wullsocks and dayplankets, going to church and being a good grandmother. I know she is in a better place now, with my grandfather Erkki who died ten years ago. Altough I'm not sure if I believe in heaven nor god, but because she was a true Lutheran Cristian, I will try.. for her.
Now that she is gone, I have learned more of her, going through her belongings. I have have found out that we shared a similar taste of literature. I never knew that about her, because I was too wrapped up in my own little world, mostly only seeing her on family meetings and birthdays. I feel regret that I didn't get to know her while I still could.