okay last night i was talking to chip online and he told me to say somthing to my brother well i guess what i said really tripped luke out and he is really super pissed at me he almoust went to get in afight with chip but dident because sami talked him out of it i guess this thing about me being his little sister and chip being his best friend is really getting to him idont know okay just 10 days till i see him and 9 puonds to loose ahhh yeah right there is no way but i am gonna try anyhow okay bye

okay guess what 10 days and they are home they got sent sooner than we thought they would this is great but i think i am gonna be sick i am soo excited also i talked to him on the phone not what i expected but still gorgeous voice okay gotta go do house cleaning byby

ok this is my first diary entry and guess what i have no idea what to write so i will just say what is on my mind i know everyone who reads my house is probly tired of hearing it but... OMG that man drives me nuts he can just say he will bring me the moon and just the thought makes me melt. he is the only man i have ever truly trusted and i am terrified that i did a mistake by giving it to him and he has given me absolutly no reason why i shouldent trust him i guess it goes back to old hurts and wrongs but who wants to hear about my emotional baggage i mean i dont even want to hear about it and it belongs to me. today he told me he talked to his dad about me that is a good thing right .... i mean he wouldent just be playing me and tell his dad about it would he?? ahh i dont know. then he askes me this question--> if you like a guy and he is not mormon than will anything come of it?.... and i should have told him no i really should have but i like him too much and all i said was well i like you and you arnt mormon and then you know what he did he asked me if i liked the color on his text arggghhhhh!!!! and it was orange and i hadent even thought that he would say anything like that so it caught me completly off gaurd and i was like well yeah sure i guess and he was like just joking but he said that is my favorite color remember you disapoint me of course he was joking but when he said it it felt like i had justkilled his puppy or somthing god that man drives me crazy i have no control over my emotions when i am around him. and he has no idea okay i think this is long enouph for my first entry ok byebye
jess