You say you’re not a stupid girl. That you have dreams and you are smart.
You say you want to be something great. You say you’re so smart.
Then why the hell are you wearing your pants skin tight? Why the hell are you wearing that shirt with the label on it? Why the hell are you wearing that push up bra? Aren’t you happy with what you got?
Why do you dress like that? Do you think it’s going to catch a guy? Dressed up like a pretty little whore? Why on earth would you want to be with a guy that wants you for your body?
Why the Hell so you wear those short shorts? Don’t give me that crap about them being the only things out there. Somehow I always managed to find a pair of shorts, not the denim bikinis that you wear. What's with the mini-skirt? Can’t sit down, makes your thighs look real big? Why?
Why do you feel the need to cram yourself into to pants that are two sizes too small for you? It doesn’t make you look skinnier. In fact it makes you look like a muffin, a big stupid muffin.
Why do you dress like that?
Why do you consent to this commercialized
I like the poetry slam better. Poetry with a beat. Not this crap that’s sold by the skinny little girl dressed up like little whores shaking their butts. Don’t kid yourself. That’s the only reason rap got so big.
People are out there starving in the world and you’re worried about messing up your hair?
Do you have no morals and values? Are you the nightmare that sweeps the countries?
You are the stupid girls of America.
You’re the people that Pink is singing about. Deny it all you wish. We’re not stupid, you say, from the boa constrictor pants you love so much, from the push up bra that maximizes your B cup, from the shirt that would better fit a streetwalker that a teenage girl, from the shorts that aren’t short but are really bikinis masquerading as short.
You’re not stupid. And I a meek, quiet, little mouse.
<poll:68987>
I'm rather curious to see what you all think.
TOP TEN REASONS WHY I SKATEBOARD:
10 It's fun!
9 if you break something everyone wants to sign your cast.
8 People notice you they never notice rollerbladers, bikers ect. (Well Actually people only notice rollerblades if they have two huskies pulling them.)
7 You can put cool stickers on the bottom.
6 You're feet aren't attached to it, so you can pick it up and walk.
5 It's dangerous and scares my mom.
4 It's one more really cool way to walk the dogs
3 It was in my garage and I was bored.
2 You meet people with the same out look on life: Life sucks Death sucks, skateboard
1 What else would I do in my free time, go to the mall?
I find this amusing. Why because it's mine. And I've stopped skateboarding. Hmm. Maybe I should start again, not like I have anything better to do.
I went back and fixed it. Removed the pink stuff.
I think I have fallen in love with Pink's stupid girl lyrics. They discribe my point of view perfectly. Note to self buy the ablum.
Stupid Girls - Pink
Uhhuh, uhhuh
Stupid girl (woo), stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl (yeah), I don't wanna be a stupid girl (uhhuh)
Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne (drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two and three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be? (yeah yeah yeah)
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
Maybe a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Maybe if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back (yeah)
Push up my bra like that (uh-huh), I don't wanna be a stupid girl
(Break it down now)
The disease is growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see (c'mon)
Disasters all around
(Disasters all around)
World despaired
(A world of despair)
Their only concern
Will it fuck up my hair?
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Maybe if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
[Interlude]
Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories today
It was SO not sexy, no
[Vomits]
Oh, good one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]
I WILL BE SKINNY!
(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
(I like this, like this, like this)
Pretty will you fuck me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my hair I'll suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty will you fuck me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my hair I'll suck it girl, stupid girl!
Maybe if I act like that,
Flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl! (girl girl girl)
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Maybe if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Maybe if I act like that,
Flipping my blonde hair back,
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl.
Stupid girl, stupid girl, stupid girl
I listened to Can't Take by All American Rejects until I said I can't take this and started listening to the Shoebox Project soundtrack.
It's my birthday. I got Move Along by All American Rejects, The Wizards of Earthsea, a $100 from assorted relatives, and a wacom tablet. I'm going to have fun today with it. So much fun.
We're going to go out to dinner too.
7 Days till my birthday!
Alright so there's this wiki called Emo Boys *kissing* Emo Boys.
That's wonderful, lovely in fact. Nothing against it. But at my school the emos are homophobic and crap. I am starting to feel cheated.
[Stray Kitty] wishes [FalseReality] would go off and die in a corner. She also wonders if he hates the Elftown Guards so much and thinks Elftown is "gay" why is he is on here?
8 more days to my birthday!
12 Days to my birthday. I am so self centered.
My heart hurts.
In P.E. today there was an assembly of sorts for EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES. I was near the lunch line in my P.E. uniform with is black shorts that go down to about my knees or something and a semi-tight shirt from some aquarium in Oregon Of course, this is me. So it probably wasn't as tight as some of the things the other girls wear. and it certain wasn't low cut or anything.
This guy touches me, on my arm very clase to me breast. I turn around and there's this guy from violin and The Barn and he doesn't look like he did it. Then there's this guy also in the area, named Cody. And he did it I know. That or one of his friends. THey pulled the whole he did it no he did it shit.
Nothing about me screams come and get me I'm easy. Nothing. I do not dress in a provocative way. It's not my fault I'm well endowed. I can fucking control that.
And I just spent most of yesterday and the day before that telling myself that stuff like this wasn't going to happen to me because I don't go around with my boobs just about ready to fall out of my shirt. I don't wear skin tight pants. I do nit own a thong. I'm not the type of girl you go to and touch her and beat her and rape her. I fight back. Still I feel violated. Vunerable. I want to go away and hide in a corner and CRY. Then the voice in my head that I yell at myself accuses me of being weak and poor me.
It's not my fault. I scream But is it? The shirt was tight. But still. I don't send off signals like that. I not some slut or whore.
Sure I carry myself with confidence and I'm not going to be sorry about. I am a confident person and No ONE had any right to make me feel any less. I am worth something more than sex. I am a smart young woman. Sure I screw up and yeah I fall down. But I get back up and I'm not going to be sorry if you think that all women are weak because the Fucking biblew states that and I set that theory on its head. I will not be sorry for causing you to think about you beliefs. I think it's about time. I will not fall meekly into place as the bibilical role of sweet submissions. You aren't going to take that away from me. I'm stronger than a lot of guys.
Ever wonder why more guys follow through with suicide. Some dude in my health class last year thought it was because guys were bracer. But how brave is that. You';re just running away from your problems. You're not facing it. Doesn't it take more courage to get up everyday than to end it all?
IU'm stronger than you Cody. I think. I feel. You see yourself being contradicted and you don;t think about. You try to get rid of the thing that causes you to think. That's not going to get rid of your discomfort. Ever ask your self WHat if it is I that is wrong? Ever? No of course not. OYu just always have to be so fucking right. Scared that a mere woman might be more than EVE'S weakness? So what do you do you try to scare into submission. So that it becomes you that is right because there's no one left to question you or force you to question yourself.
I am guilty of plunging ahead sure that I am right. I am wrong times. And I am a hypocrit.
You made my heart sick, it hurts. And I have to heal it.
Do you ever go through that? Or do you stay holed up in yourself and never let your heart feel even if it means being hurt and trampled on.
I think I might have coughed up a lung today. Aside from that I'm fine.
My Birthday's in 13 days.
Wonder if my parents will aprrove an opposite and same gender birthday party. I'll try it. Let's see the short list of boys I would invite are: Vance, and Matt. Gee I thought there were others. I know there are. Hmm let's see... not Avery. Anna might take the oppurtunity to shove him off a cliff. Oh yes my birthday is going to have a possible hike and pinic lunch. Well the one for friends is. There is at least one more boy who is a friend. Aha! Nick! Wait, hmm. No on second thought. And probably not Matt either. I'll try though. Let's see I want Anna, Kaitlyn, Mel, Ariana, Zora, Roxanne, and Maya to come. Possibly Vance. If my parents will let him. It's going to be fun.
Roxanne just gave me a cd with about 174 songs on it. I will be entertained for months.
I now have 36.283 hours of music on my playlist. I feel happy.
I don't really like anyone right now. Odd for me. Normally I'm obsessed with one person or another. But not now.
I saw Jorma in the park today. He seemed pretty embarrassed to be caught with his little brother(? for some reason I thought it myight be his nephew). He honestly looked moritfied at seeing someone from school. Prehaps it's because he stoped badly on his skatebord? I just smiled and went past with Teneya.
Becuase my normally powerful blocks have failed and allowed me to take this test:
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Low
Level 2 | Very Low
Level 3 | Moderate
Level 4 | Moderate
Level 5 | Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | High
Level 7 | Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus | Low
Level descriptions: http://www.4de
Take the test: http://www.4de
I have gone through my own brand of therapy. I call it music therapy. Basically find a song that suits my mood and repeat over and over.
It's mainly consisted of Avril Lavigne's Unwanted and Alinis Morissette's You Oughta Know.
I despise being ignored, blown off, disregarded. I like getting attention. Not many people know that. I am vain. I love being complimented. Insult me, I’ll tell you off. Or tell myself you’re stupid. Don’t ignore me. That’s somehow much worse. Insult me make me your enemy, but don’t disregard me. I feel weak now. A kitten mewling for attention, convinced she’s a tiger. I lie and say I don’t care. I know I can make it true. I think you like being able to do this to me. I think you like being in control. I dislike being controlled. This is going to be interesting at the very least.
Hmm how should we start?
Let me think for a sec.
When it’s just us
There’s no problem.
You nice, interesting, smart and funny.
But I got a bone to pick,
With you.
I don’t like being ignored.
I don’t appreciate being blown off.
Are you embarrassed of me,
Do I show another side they don’t know?
I didn’t ditch you for her this morning.
I introduced you.
I was,
Dare I say it.
Polite.
You Mr. Chivalry, Mr. Knight in Shiny armor,
Ignored me.
Hello?
Hi is Zora there?
No she is not right now, but I'll tell her you called when she gets back.
Thank you
Bye
Just from talking to him for that long I get this shivery feeling in my stomach region. THen I growl because I'm annoyed. And I interupt myself with another growl-sound because I'm annoyed that that annoyed me and I realize what that shivery feeling in my stomach meant. I rush over to the mirror and it confirms my worse fear. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's not over him at all?
He's manage to throw my comosure out the window. And after he hangs up or leaves, I'm left feeling vaguely cheated and annoyed. Doesn't he know that I'm the only one that's allowed to throw composure and caution to the wind outside the window? Obviously not. Or he does and doesn't care.
Now I'm really annoyed. It first started with reading a whole slew of SasuNaru fics, which normally isn't a bad thing but it put me in a very fluffy mood. Then I go downstais and the Princess Diaries II is playing. I hate those movies and I try to avoid watching them, but I ws in a fluffly mood and got sucked into watching it with my brother and mom. Of course, sometimes I'd remember who I was and what I was watching, and I'd pout/sulk and promptly forget about sulking/poutin
Then I ate dinner.
Then I kidnapped the phone. I called a friend and found out I now have two gey friends. I only thought I had one. But it turns out that I have another. I'm not really suprised that he's gay though. Sometimes I'm pretty hard to suprise, especially with books. It's not that I see things comeing or anything, I just go 'Oh that was intriguing' and continue reading. I guess I'm like that in life 'Oh, didn't see that one coming, but come to think of it it wasn't that suprising' and keep on living.
This is Anthony's fault.
Wow. I have a bad habit of not writing. Well, I guess I normally write about stuff that I have strong feelings about and don't care about people reading.
First Impressions People Have Had Of Me
Calm--Anthony, Wrong very soon he was proven.
She's short and smiling, I hope she doesn't bite me--Kevin (he's like 5'11" and I'm 5'4" on a good day), one of the more correct first impressions
She's short and smiling--Logan