This one is slightly annoying. Mayhap I should rewrite it?
[Guy: "Can we have sex right now?"
Girl: "Can we do what?"
Guy: "You know, can I be your first, finally?"
Girl: "Um.....no."
Guy: "Why?"
Girl: "Because, 1. you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my friend......."
Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won' tell."
Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life to be my first."
Guy: "I'm not special to you?"
Girl: "You're my friend. That's all."
Guy: looks forward and keeps driving.
5 minutes pass.......
Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh.
Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me?"
Guy: tries to kiss her.
Girl: screams, "Would you stop."
Guy: continues trying.
Girl: moves to the back seat
Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the girl. Starts to kiss her.
Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this."
Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes." Moves over to her and starts to unbutton her pants.
Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No, don't."
Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard to get".
Girl: crying, continues to fight.
Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down.
Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me!"
Guy: puts his hand over her mouth.
An hour passes.........
Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off.
Girl: sits on the corner of the seat, sobbing.
Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this. If you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek.
Girl: pulls back, "Just take me home, now."
Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home.
2 months later.........
Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my period in 2 months."
Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your period for a reason."
Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure to receive.
Doctor: "You are pregnant."
Girl: faints.
The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you."
The Girl is completely devastated. First, he took her virginity and got her pregnant....then he lied about it. So completely depressed......the girl commits suicide by drug overdose.......
Girls, if this story touched you, repost it as "That's Fucked up"
Guys, if this story touched you, repost it as "I'll kill any fucker who does this]
This is wrong. When a girl says no she means no. Respect that. What's also wrong is that she kills herself. She shouldn't have to suffer through that. No one deserves this.
Some times I feel perfect. No not perfect. Privileged. Yes I feel privileged. I am gifted with a family who loves me and that I know loves me. I am blessed in that I am happy with my body shape. Sure I want to be taller, but the reaction to the short jokes is really for my friends’ benefit. Honestly. Yes, I should exercise more, and yes, I should eat less sugar. But I don’t have to worry about being to fat or too thin. My grades in school are above a B average. I guess I should be thankful that that comes naturally. I am a good artist. I can ride horses well. I’m on the ski team. In short my life seems charmed. I have confidence in myself and who I am. I feel so holy, I’m dirty. I feel that I should not have this. What did I do to deserve this when so many others have so much less than I. I hate that I sound like some sort of martyr when I say such things. I feel sappy and stupid and hero ish. I even have a hero complex. I want to fox the world’s ills. I want to be an angel, as I am so fond of saying. I want to be able to help people. I want Maggie to find something that is hers. I want Zora to find friends and a crush too if that is Zoraly possible (which I doubt, but I’m an optimist). I want Ariana to stop hanging around Zack and become more mature but that probably won’t happen (honestly, she may be only twelve but she’s a bad influence on me an almost fifteen year old). I want Helene to stop worrying about how she looks and develop some confidence (I also want her to stop liking Andrew but that’s about as likely as Zora likely someone and Ariana being mature). And I want to stop sounding so patronizing and start sounding sincere! Or am I already sincere and don’t know it because I reading this way too closely. Watching me over my own shoulder waiting for me to screw it up. Making my own self nervous of me. Maybe. Maybe.
I can understand it. Hurting yourself physically because it hurts so much mentally. Causing yourself pain so that you have something else to focus on. But I don’t do it. I don’t raise the scissors to my wrists. I used to bash my knuckles against my bed, until they bled. But I don’t do that anymore. It only made the nervous worse. I have to take it out on something, was my reasoning. Something. But I don’t cut. I did it once. Because of him. And that overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and being alone. I drew a picture with a girl crying blood. I do not cut. But I pick at my fingers, tear them apart really, when I’m nervous. I can understand it. After all don’t we all have masochistic tendencies?
Apparently someone has claimed MAtt. Several people like him. Several people wanted to ask him to TWIRPS. Several people are jealous of Sara who thinks of Matt as a friend for the record but decline to comment of record. Sara has waltzed in completely oblivious and asked a desirable guy to a formal dance. Sara thought that it was a casual dance. Sar was proven very very wrong. So like, Sara, to walk in ignorant of the situation and and "steal" (many) someone else's crushes. Matt is also oblivious, but by choice really.
There's this chick that's against homosexuality. She thinks it's a sin. And her boyfriend is bisexual. This is amusing.
Someone sent me a chain letter today. Someone also got reported today. By tomorrow someone is going to be banned. See the correlation. Send Kitty chain mail, ruin her day, piss her off, get reported, get banned, have Kitty block you too so you can even send her another chain mail. And for the record there was no computers in the 1800's so this particular letter could not have been going on since 18something something. In 1985 floppy disks were actually floppy. That is proof that only stupid people send Kitty or anyone else chain mail. Because Kitty will report you and ruin your Elftown life by getting you banned. And Kitty doesn't car if you're on the friends list. Kitty will just delete you.
My violin left a mark on my neck. And my dad thought it was a hickey. Which is funny because I have yet to kiss a member of the opposite sex that's my age.
I am vexed. First of all I like no one this year. Sorta. I'm going with Matt to the TWIRPS dance and I had my friend ask him if we were dating. He said no. Damn him. I think I liked him too. Not really but I might have. Or did. Whatever. This is sucks. The one time I think that a guy might actually like me he thinks we're just friends. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian or at least bisexual, but alas I am straight. I'm also sulking and it's all Matt's thought. Though he if does consider us to be dating he might still like me. And people think I'm not an optimist. So now I feeling somewhat anti-Matt. And annoyed. Because he doesn't talk muct. At all. Sometimes I have problems getting one word answers from him. Annoying, very. It'a all his fault.
Haven't written in here for awhile. Oh, well.
Anyways, me and a few friends are starting a band. So far we have:
Logan: lead vocals
Anna: guitar/vocals
Sara: violin/fiddle
Carolon: keyboard piano/vocals
You'll not how I'm the only one not singing. That is because a) I can't sing b) you try signing with a bit of wood under your chin. So if anyone (that means you!) reading this have any lyrics that you wouldn't mind "donating" to us, message me. And I will send them to the other members and then we will get back to you.
NOTE: Lyrics may not be full of swear words. Once in the chorus and once in the verses is enough. Lyrics that provoke are good even encouraged. Ideas for songs are good too.
I can't stop it. I can't reach out and hug her. I can do anything about it. Cutting suicide. What ever happened to the girl I used to know? And why can't I fix it? I wish I could. It's times like these when I honestly wish I was an angel. Then I could do something instead of sitting here typing as the tears make tracks down my face. I feel so fucking helpless right now. I can't do anything, but watch as she falls. I want to help her but I don't know how. Or I do but I'm so afraid of messing up I've buried it so deep I can't find it. I want to make it better but I can't. Is this how parent's feel when their children go through hard times? My friends would laugh. Sara Mother? They think those two don't go together. Mother implies caring, wisdom, common sense, calm, maturity. Which they don't think I have. I don't have the wisdom that comes from life, I have common sense, I just choose to ignore it. I have the calm, the maturity and the caring. I just lose it sometimes. But regardless of that I'm helpless. And I don't know what I can do.
Somebody help me.
Somebody help her.
Somebody help us.
I'm crying not because I broke a nail. If I had broken a nail I would be swearing. Nope, I'm crying because my violin string broke. I was trying to tune because the cooler weather is making the strings go out. And according to my tuner the D-string would jump from D# all the way to E# with the tiniest twist of the fine tuner. THat is not possible. First of all you have to really crank the large tuner to get the strings to be a different not. And there are at least 3 different notes between D# and E#. It goes D#, D natural, D flat, THEN E#.THen the string broke.
And it's not just the D-string, but all of my strings are out. I'll spend five minutes tuning them and in that time period the string I tuned last will have goe out of tune. And that bothers me.
I asked a boy out to TWIRPS and he said yes. What funny though is that I was talking to Kaitlyn on the phone and was trying to decide on an outfit and figure out who she's "interested" in. Apparently the TWIRPS is slightly formal. So I'm trying to decide what to wear. The problem is that 3 of my skirts are bohemian, 3 are for school and are casual, 2 are denim, one is kaki, and the last one is something I found in the woman's petite section. It's something that you might wear to an office or out to dinner. But also to school. THen there's my pink & white sundress. And my green velvet dress, that looks slightly medieval. And then I have an actual medieval gown. Not from the meddle ages but it looks lke it. So as I'm debating on what to waer I'm also trting to guess who Kaitlyn is interested in.
So I eventually decide that the black skirt, and my nice sweater will have to do. I'll buy shoes and some nice stockings. And that will be my outfit.
So then I'm trying to guess who Kaitlyn is Interested in. Apparently he's in a few of my classes, I know him, but he's not from Marcsh or Marigold. So I say, Oh if he already has a date I'll help you kill her. I can pull a few strings. Kaitlyn laughs.
So then I finally guess who he is and it turns out to be the guy that I asked to TWIRPS. So then I felt bad because I do not want to be one of those girls that steals her friends crushes.
Later that night my dad is grilling me about Matt. Of course my dad's also falling asleep so... So he asks questions like: Is he a Jock? Is he a stud? What kind of music does he like? Is he smart? Can I read his Fahrenheit 451 essay (we had to do an essay to get into honors english)? Is he a Democrat or a Republican?
Fortunately Matt went to Catholic school so he's a GOOD KID. He's also nothing like my brother. He's mature and doesn't act really stupid.
However my mom is not won over so easily. I've cleaned my room and I plan to pay for my outfit my self. I also decided thatthis is NOT a skirt and sweater affair. So I'm going to have to spend a substancal amount on clothes. But believe me. THey are going to be on Sale.
I drift,
Like a seed in the wind.
No purpose.
No reason to move.
It has to begin from here.
I know the path well.
I've traveled it many times.
But to find me I have to see you.
You are in my heart.
Somehow somewhere you got caught there.
I fear I'm falling again.
Not with you.
Do I nessarliy have to lose my heart again,
Just to get you out of it?
Why can't I be me,
Without you?
What happened to me?
Today I went to the orthodontist to get my wirses changed and have new bands put on. I was decided the colors and I was considering pink becase I'm "friends" with some cheerleaders in my P.E. class. So then I realized that I was basing my decision on how others would think of me. And I don't do that and I don't want to stop. So then I considered having red or black or both. But in a way that would be me because of someone. So I asked myself what do I want and got purple. And yeah come to think of it this does seem trivial, but I'd prefer not to become someone that bases her decisions on what other people think. It falls under the Tara catorgory.
The Tara Catogory
Okay so I use to live in Forest Ranch and it was a very small town. There were only about 20 or 30 kids in my first grade/kinderga
Anyways I've always been wary about being controlled by someone. I have a pretty good idea of who me is and I feel like keeping it. But I need to change, it's called growning up. There's a fine line and I intend to walk it.
[1) I committed suicide:]
[2) I said I liked you:]
[3) I kissed you:]
[4) I lived next door to you:]
[5) I started smoking:]
[6) I stole something:]
[7) I was hospitalized:]
[8) I ran away from home:]
[9) I got into a fight and you weren't there]
what do you think of my:
[1) Personality:]
[2) Eyes:]
[3) Face:]
[4) Hair:]
[5) Clothes:]
[6) Mannerisms:]
general stuff:
[1) Who are you?]
[2) Are we friends?]
[3) When and how did we meet?]
[4) How have I affected you?]
[5) What do you think of me?]
[6) What's the fondest memory you have of me?]
[7) How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?]
[8) Do you love me?]
[9) Have I ever hurt you?]
[10) Would you hug me?]
[11) Would you kiss me?]
[12) Would you make love to me?]
[13) Would you marry me?]
[14) Emotionally, what stands out?]
[15) Do you wish I was cooler?]
[16) On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?]
[17) Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. ]
[18) Am I loveable?]
[19) How long have you known me?]
[20) Describe me in one word.]
[21) What was your first impression? ]
[22) Do you still think that way about me now?]
[23) What do you think my weakness is?]
[24) Do you think I'll get married?]
[25) What about me makes you happy?]
[26) What about me makes you sad?]
[27) What reminds you of me?]
[28) What's something you would change about me? ]
[29) How well do you know me? ]
[30) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? ]
[31) Do you think I would kill someone?]
[32) Are we close?]
[33) Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?]
Another thing that bothers me.
My friend Ariana is not comterable riding her bike to school yet. This is her first year in junior high so that's understandable
Do you know what bothers me?
People who label themselves. It bothers me. I think it would be much better if instead of saying I'm a skater to say I skateboard. Also, I dislike it when people say I'm not a prep. Like prep is a bad thing. I dislike labels. After all it's what's on the inside that really matters. That's why I was nice to those cheerleaders (it also helped that I didn't realize she was a cheerleader before I saw her friends). There are some nice cheerleaders, and there are some that aren't so nice. But that is true with any group of people. There are some people that are horrible people and there are some really nice people and there are a lot of people in between.
Why do boys think that crying and showing emotions in general makes you weak? Why is it that if some boy shows emotions he gets picked, singled out as a crybaby, a weakling. Why?
Why do tears seem to be taboo? Why?
What's funny is that Kelaria told me to go away.
Ha! Like that'll work.
No thank I think I'll stay. Right here as a matter of fact.
And I'll stay loudingly.