Apparently someone has claimed MAtt. Several people like him. Several people wanted to ask him to TWIRPS. Several people are jealous of Sara who thinks of Matt as a friend for the record but decline to comment of record. Sara has waltzed in completely oblivious and asked a desirable guy to a formal dance. Sara thought that it was a casual dance. Sar was proven very very wrong. So like, Sara, to walk in ignorant of the situation and and "steal" (many) someone else's crushes. Matt is also oblivious, but by choice really.

There's this chick that's against homosexuality. She thinks it's a sin. And her boyfriend is bisexual. This is amusing.

Someone sent me a chain letter today. Someone also got reported today. By tomorrow someone is going to be banned. See the correlation. Send Kitty chain mail, ruin her day, piss her off, get reported, get banned, have Kitty block you too so you can even send her another chain mail. And for the record there was no computers in the 1800's so this particular letter could not have been going on since 18something something. In 1985 floppy disks were actually floppy. That is proof that only stupid people send Kitty or anyone else chain mail. Because Kitty will report you and ruin your Elftown life by getting you banned. And Kitty doesn't car if you're on the friends list. Kitty will just delete you.

My violin left a mark on my neck. And my dad thought it was a hickey. Which is funny because I have yet to kiss a member of the opposite sex that's my age.

I am vexed. First of all I like no one this year. Sorta. I'm going with Matt to the TWIRPS dance and I had my friend ask him if we were dating. He said no. Damn him. I think I liked him too. Not really but I might have. Or did. Whatever. This is sucks. The one time I think that a guy might actually like me he thinks we're just friends. Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian or at least bisexual, but alas I am straight. I'm also sulking and it's all Matt's thought. Though he if does consider us to be dating he might still like me. And people think I'm not an optimist. So now I feeling somewhat anti-Matt. And annoyed. Because he doesn't talk muct. At all. Sometimes I have problems getting one word answers from him. Annoying, very. It'a all his fault.

Haven't written in here for awhile. Oh, well.

Anyways, me and a few friends are starting a band. So far we have:
Logan: lead vocals
Anna: guitar/vocals
Sara: violin/fiddle
Carolon: keyboard piano/vocals
You'll not how I'm the only one not singing. That is because a) I can't sing b) you try signing with a bit of wood under your chin. So if anyone (that means you!) reading this have any lyrics that you wouldn't mind "donating" to us, message me. And I will send them to the other members and then we will get back to you.

NOTE: Lyrics may not be full of swear words. Once in the chorus and once in the verses is enough. Lyrics that provoke are good even encouraged. Ideas for songs are good too.

I can't stop it. I can't reach out and hug her. I can do anything about it. Cutting suicide. What ever happened to the girl I used to know? And why can't I fix it? I wish I could. It's times like these when I honestly wish I was an angel. Then I could do something instead of sitting here typing as the tears make tracks down my face. I feel so fucking helpless right now. I can't do anything, but watch as she falls. I want to help her but I don't know how. Or I do but I'm so afraid of messing up I've buried it so deep I can't find it. I want to make it better but I can't. Is this how parent's feel when their children go through hard times? My friends would laugh. Sara Mother? They think those two don't go together. Mother implies caring, wisdom, common sense, calm, maturity. Which they don't think I have. I don't have the wisdom that comes from life, I have common sense, I just choose to ignore it. I have the calm, the maturity and the caring. I just lose it sometimes. But regardless of that I'm helpless. And I don't know what I can do.
Somebody help me.
Somebody help her.
Somebody help us.

What I HATE About Fan Fics

I'm crying not because I broke a nail. If I had broken a nail I would be swearing. Nope, I'm crying because my violin string broke. I was trying to tune because the cooler weather is making the strings go out. And according to my tuner the D-string would jump from D# all the way to E# with the tiniest twist of the fine tuner. THat is not possible. First of all you have to really crank the large tuner to get the strings to be a different not. And there are at least 3 different notes between D# and E#. It goes D#, D natural, D flat, THEN E#.THen the string broke.

And it's not just the D-string, but all of my strings are out. I'll spend five minutes tuning them and in that time period the string I tuned last will have goe out of tune. And that bothers me.

I asked a boy out to TWIRPS and he said yes. What funny though is that I was talking to Kaitlyn on the phone and was trying to decide on an outfit and figure out who she's "interested" in. Apparently the TWIRPS is slightly formal. So I'm trying to decide what to wear. The problem is that 3 of my skirts are bohemian, 3 are for school and are casual, 2 are denim, one is kaki, and the last one is something I found in the woman's petite section. It's something that you might wear to an office or out to dinner. But also to school. THen there's my pink & white sundress. And my green velvet dress, that looks slightly medieval. And then I have an actual medieval gown. Not from the meddle ages but it looks lke it. So as I'm debating on what to waer I'm also trting to guess who Kaitlyn is interested in.

So I eventually decide that the black skirt, and my nice sweater will have to do. I'll buy shoes and some nice stockings. And that will be my outfit.

So then I'm trying to guess who Kaitlyn is Interested in. Apparently he's in a few of my classes, I know him, but he's not from Marcsh or Marigold. So I say, Oh if he already has a date I'll help you kill her. I can pull a few strings. Kaitlyn laughs.

So then I finally guess who he is and it turns out to be the guy that I asked to TWIRPS. So then I felt bad because I do not want to be one of those girls that steals her friends crushes.

Later that night my dad is grilling me about Matt. Of course my dad's also falling asleep so... So he asks questions like: Is he a Jock? Is he a stud? What kind of music does he like? Is he smart? Can I read his Fahrenheit 451 essay (we had to do an essay to get into honors english)? Is he a Democrat or a Republican?

Fortunately Matt went to Catholic school so he's a GOOD KID. He's also nothing like my brother. He's mature and doesn't act really stupid.

However my mom is not won over so easily. I've cleaned my room and I plan to pay for my outfit my self. I also decided thatthis is NOT a skirt and sweater affair. So I'm going to have to spend a substancal amount on clothes. But believe me. THey are going to be on Sale.

I drift,
Like a seed in the wind.
No purpose.
No reason to move.
It has to begin from here.
I know the path well.
I've traveled it many times.
But to find me I have to see you.
You are in my heart.
Somehow somewhere you got caught there.
I fear I'm falling again.
Not with you.
Do I nessarliy have to lose my heart again,
Just to get you out of it?
Why can't I be me,
Without you?
What happened to me?

Today I went to the orthodontist to get my wirses changed and have new bands put on. I was decided the colors and I was considering pink becase I'm "friends" with some cheerleaders in my P.E. class. So then I realized that I was basing my decision on how others would think of me. And I don't do that and I don't want to stop. So then I considered having red or black or both. But in a way that would be me because of someone. So I asked myself what do I want and got purple. And yeah come to think of it this does seem trivial, but I'd prefer not to become someone that bases her decisions on what other people think. It falls under the Tara catorgory.

The Tara Catogory
Okay so I use to live in Forest Ranch and it was a very small town. There were only about 20 or 30 kids in my first grade/kindergarden class. I was friends with Tara. She was the sort of person that used people and probably grew up to be some popular person. THere was also Jackie. Looking back it was sorta funny. They bothe wanted to be queen bee. And in first grade too. Well anyways Tara basically controlled my. Not as much as she'd have liked though. Rather hard to controll someone when they're more interested in being a buffalo wolf than a fairy.
Anyways I've always been wary about being controlled by someone. I have a pretty good idea of who me is and I feel like keeping it. But I need to change, it's called growning up. There's a fine line and I intend to walk it.

[1) I committed suicide:]
[2) I said I liked you:]
[3) I kissed you:]
[4) I lived next door to you:]
[5) I started smoking:]
[6) I stole something:]
[7) I was hospitalized:]
[8) I ran away from home:]
[9) I got into a fight and you weren't there]
what do you think of my:
[1) Personality:]
[2) Eyes:]
[3) Face:]
[4) Hair:]
[5) Clothes:]
[6) Mannerisms:]
general stuff:
[1) Who are you?]
[2) Are we friends?]
[3) When and how did we meet?]
[4) How have I affected you?]
[5) What do you think of me?]
[6) What's the fondest memory you have of me?]
[7) How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?]
[8) Do you love me?]
[9) Have I ever hurt you?]
[10) Would you hug me?]
[11) Would you kiss me?]
[12) Would you make love to me?]
[13) Would you marry me?]
[14) Emotionally, what stands out?]
[15) Do you wish I was cooler?]
[16) On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?]
[17) Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. ]
[18) Am I loveable?]
[19) How long have you known me?]
[20) Describe me in one word.]
[21) What was your first impression? ]
[22) Do you still think that way about me now?]
[23) What do you think my weakness is?]
[24) Do you think I'll get married?]
[25) What about me makes you happy?]
[26) What about me makes you sad?]
[27) What reminds you of me?]
[28) What's something you would change about me? ]
[29) How well do you know me? ]
[30) Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? ]
[31) Do you think I would kill someone?]
[32) Are we close?]
[33) Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?]

Another thing that bothers me.
My friend Ariana is not comterable riding her bike to school yet. This is her first year in junior high so that's understandable. Zora however has gone to junior high for a year now, she like Ariana is in 7 th grade. Zora has bailed on Ariana a few times. Not only as in hasn't gotten up in the morning, bailed as in Zora has just taken off from school with out waiting for Ariana. Now I have a tendancy to be overprotective of people I care about, especially if they are younger than me. I'm very protective of Zora and Ariana. I also thought Zora was mature. Turns out I'm wrong and very dissapointed in her. However I'm now annoyed at Zora. I honestly did not think that she would do something like that. So, here I type, fighting the urge to call Zora and demand to know what the heck does she think she's doing. I'm also muttering under my breath. Can't understand why Zora would do such a thing. Really want to call her but Mom told me not to. Maybe I'll call or have some one with tact call and politely inquire about how riding to school with Ariana is working out. I have this strange deeling that if I do it I'll end up lecturing. Much better if Anna calls. Maybe I won't even let Anna know untill afterwards. So I'm going to end up riding to school with Ariana. I plan to be on time unless sometime comes up, then I'll see if I can't have someone else fill in. I really want to give Zora a lecture about depenability. I'll have to have it all planned out because Zora can argue well and still be wrong but I can't prove that she's wrong. That also bothers me.

Do you know what bothers me?
People who label themselves. It bothers me. I think it would be much better if instead of saying I'm a skater to say I skateboard. Also, I dislike it when people say I'm not a prep. Like prep is a bad thing. I dislike labels. After all it's what's on the inside that really matters. That's why I was nice to those cheerleaders (it also helped that I didn't realize she was a cheerleader before I saw her friends). There are some nice cheerleaders, and there are some that aren't so nice. But that is true with any group of people. There are some people that are horrible people and there are some really nice people and there are a lot of people in between.

  Why do boys think that crying and showing emotions in general makes you weak? Why is it that if some boy shows emotions he gets picked, singled out as a crybaby, a weakling. Why?

 Why do tears seem to be taboo? Why?

What's funny is that Kelaria told me to go away.
Ha! Like that'll work.
No thank I think I'll stay. Right here as a matter of fact.
And I'll stay loudingly.

Somebody bothered Stray...
Kelaria is bothering me. She is sooo upset over the 4 line image description limit. 4 lines. She has around 70. And what she has doesn't describe her image.

And she's now moaning about how 'beautiful ET is gone'
SUCK IT UP, GIRL. ET is not 'gone'Nothing's even permanent.

Put it in your house.

But no she moans the colors are wrong.

Fine don't change, But you'll get banned. And I'lll laugh.

Ooo. Look what I found in my message box today!

This thos are not your huskies!!!!! they are in the snow they are looking at the camerea and there are mountains in the back and plus it looks fake!!!!!! i have huskioes that are actually mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone had the nerve to message me with this! I can beleive there is someone out there who is so paranoid as to message me with that! Why? What on earth is wrong with dogs that look at the camera? It's not like you have to be a professional to hold a bit of food in your hand and say their names. And I don't know about any body else, but have you ever taken a trip to the mountains and taken a few pictures?
I don't feel that it looks fake. But maybe that's just me.

Why would I up load a fake picture? For what reason? Does that person have no reasoning skills?


Message I sent back:
Yes those are my huskies. Yes they are in the snow. Yes they are looking at the camera. And yes those are in fact mountains in the back ground. And no it is not fake. I'm glad to hear that you too have huskies. That picture was taken on one of my dad's ski trips to the 3 sisters (a mountain range in Oregon).
If you feel that you need more proof then I will go scan more pictures of my dogs.
Also you mispelled those, failed to capitalize those, they, and I. Sentence two is a run on sentence and has far too many exclamation marks at the end. One is suffcient, dear. Huskies is misspelled. And once again you used way too many exclamation marks.


Then lookie what her friend sent me. Her friend that used her friends username. 

Ok, this is [Frog Freak]'s friend who happens to be the daughter of an ENGLISH TEACHER. I know for a fact that English doesn't matter on the internet. You stupid BITCH. Oh, I'm sorry, am I capitalizing everything? Is that against the rules? I'm sure you'd know ALL about the art of English, pending on you give off a negative vibe of...'stuck-up know-it-all'. Now I want you to do me a HUGE favor....Back off and get out of her face. She knows what she's talking about. Know, have a SUPERB day.


((BTW, I'm in the process of becoming a guard, watch yourself. :)

So I defend myself and in a fit of pique correct her grammar and spelling. And then she has one of her freinds message me using her username. What is with that girl. This bothers me. Also if her friend is becoming a guard don't guard's have to be unbiased and all?

I want to know why [Frog Freak]can't defend herself. And why [Frog Freak]'s friend didn't use her own username! This is bothering me.

I do NOT like to be called a liar ever! Especially when I'm not lying.

Note how I kept my temper, I have not sworn (I would like to but then I would be at their level), called anyone names, accused anyone of lying or faking art, I have not used anyone else's username, I have not gotten my friends involved, and I have not gotten my friends to abuse their postitions of authority.

I would like to hear the opinions of who ever is reading this.