I came across this in someone's journal entry on LJ. Take time and read it. If you don't catch onto it they're being sarcastic in parts of it.


Before you message me calling me a homophobe, read it. It's not actually opposing gay marriages.

29 Reasons "opposing" Gay Marriages

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Marriage is valuable because it produces children, which is why we deny marriage rights to infertile couples and old people.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage, such as Britney Spears' 55-hour escapade, will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed.

5. Marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all: women are property, matches are arranged in childhood, blacks can't marry whites, Catholics can't marry Jews, divorce is illegal, and adultery is punishable by death.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because majority-elected legislatures have historically protected the rights of minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

8. There is no separation between religious marriage and legal marriage, because there is no separation of church and state.

9. Devout, faithful Anglicans should never accept same-sex marriage, because it is an affront to the traditional family values upheld by Henry VIII and his wife, Catherine of Aragon, and his wife, Anne Boleyn, and his wife, Jane Seymour, and his wife, Anne of Cleves, and his wife, Catherine Howard, and his wife, Catherine Parr. They all knew the meaning of marriage and none of them lost their heads over the matter.

10. Married gay people will encourage others to be gay, in a way that unmarried gay people do not.

11. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because dogs have legal standing and can sign marriage contracts.

12. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to legislative change in general, which could possibly include the legalization of polygamy and incest. Because we don't know what comes next, we should never change our laws.

13. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

14. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like suburban malls and tupperware parties.

15. Legal marriage will inspire gays to mimic the straight traditions of spiritual commitment ceremonies and celebratory parties, which is currently impermissible for them to do and which they have never done before.

16. Marriage is designed to protect the well-being of children. Gay people do not need marriage because they never have children from prior relationships, artificial insemination or surrogacy, or adoption.

17. Civil unions are a good option because "separate but equal" institutions are always constitutional. In fact, compared with marriage, civil unions are so attractive that straight people are calling dibs on them.

18. A man should not be able to marry whomever a woman can marry, and a woman should not be able to marry whomever a man can marry, because in this country we do not believe in gender equality.

19. If gays marry, some of straight people's tax dollars would end up going to families whose structure they may find morally objectionable. Clearly, it is more just to continue taking gay people's tax dollars to support straight families, who are going to heaven regardless of what anyone else thinks of them.

20. Gays should hold off on the marriage question until society is more accepting of them, because they are not part of society.

21. The people's voice must be heard on this issue. Therefore, we must have a referendum on a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, because we can't think of any other way to discuss the issue.

22. Each state should decide for itself whether gay marriage will be recognized, because there is no "full faith and credit" clause that requires states to recognize each other's institutions.

23. Gay marriage attempts to replace natural heterosexual instinct with a cultural institution. Morality demands that we subordinate institutionalized commitment to raw, unfettered, biological impulse.

24. Gay marriages could very well suffer maladies like domestic violence and substance abuse. That's why we invented the Quality Control department to pre-approve the righteousness of all marriage applicants, such as convicted serial killer Richard Ramirez who married a woman while on Death Row.

25. Those who support gay marriage aim to overthrow the dominant culture, as evidenced by their enthusiasm to participate in it.

26. The country can't afford to provide benefits for married gay couples. That's why Bush would never consider spending $150 million on programs that encourage more straight people to get married.

27. Gay couples do not deserve marriage because, if everyone on earth limited themselves to same-sex sexual behavior, humanity would soon be extinct. Based on the same concern, we also deny marriage rights to the biologically childless and to those who have borne only one child. (We are also considering denying marriage rights to those who have borne three or more children, because if everyone copied them, the world population would shoot through the roof.)

28. Marriage was created in the Bible as a bond between a man and a woman. The people who lived prior to the writing of the Bible, such as the Chinese, sat around in confusion for many years until the Mesopotamians finally came around and invented the family unit.

29. The ancient Greeks were all bi and everyone knows if the Greeks did something it must be wrong. Look at all those ass-backward books they wrote and those crazy philosophers of theirs!

Tonight

It's the sunsets that have made us
And tonight is gonna fade but
We'll always just be us
We swore that this was living
And that time would be forgiving
But I guess we were wrong
Who would've known that this would all be gone
So i'm begging you tonight
To not leave my side
The sky has turned to ashes
But we're just here for the ride
Yeah, we'll be alright
We'll spend our last evening
Hiding out underneat the stars
The sky can be deceiving
And tonight, the world is ours.
Everything is at a standstill
And dreaming gets you far
But the world won't stop for anyone
And days keep slipping by
I'll hold on forever
Because it's you and I tonight.

Matt: im pmsing, i have ovaries, and im hitting myself in the... boobs. what the fuck more do you want from me?

Me: as do i (grasshopper)
Matt: not cool
Me: what? that you've been owned?
Matt: ive not been owned
Me: if i were there i would write "owned by megan" on your forehead.
Matt: thats not cool
Me: if you dont quit complaining i'll put a p before it

Pure ownage right there. :)

Heidi:Aww it's okay, Sara. You'll turn into a girl someday.

Mary Anderson:It's the new FUCK YOU!

Sarah: STOP TOUCHING ME!
Brian: I wanna be touched..
Me: Did you just say you wanna be touched?
Brian:*embarrassed* No!

Dan's Pick Up Lines.


hahahahaha. prepare to laugh your ass off.

Dan: we better get you out of those wet clothes
hott ass chick: what?
Dan: [licks his finger an wipes it on her dress]
Dan: those wet clothes

Dan: Hey babe lets make a bunk bed you be on bottom I be on top

Dan: I'm no weather man but the forecast is calling for several inches tonight !

Dan: The only time I'd kick you outta bed would be to fuck you on the floor!

DAN: There's a party tonight!
hott ass chick: Where?
DAN: In your mouth and im cummin!

Dan: Hi, my name's Dan. You better remember it cause you'll be screaming it later!!

Dan: I just shit my pants. Can I get into yours?

Dan: Do you have a mirror in your pocket, cuz i can see myself in your pants

Dan: Wanna ride? i got a truck and a box of condoms.

If Abercombie & Fitch or Hollister decided that breathing wasn't "cool", half of the teenage population would die within the next 24 hours.

I'm going to open a used condom store when I grow up.

Admit it.
You're Jealous.

She only sleeps when it's raining.
And she screams
And her voice sounds strange and she says:
"Baby. It's 3am I must be lonely."


90's Alternative makes me incredibly happy.

[Got bored and filled this out.]


Liked your voice?: No.


Hurt yourself?: No.


Been out of the country?: No


Eaten something that made other people sick?:No.


Burped?: ....


Been unfaithful?: Nope.


Been in love?: I don't know.


Done drugs?: Never.


Gone skinny-dipping?: Yes.


Had a surgery?: Yes.


Ran away from home?: No.


Played strip poker?:Does strip candyland count..? ;)


Gotten beaten up?: No.


Been picked on?: Yes


Been on stage?: Yup


Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when
and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: No?


Slept outdoors?: Yes


Thought about suicide?: Who hasn't?


Pulled an all-nighter?: Yup


If yes, what is your record?: I'm not sure...?


Gone one day without food?: Yeah.


Talked on the phone all night?: Yes


Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Yeah.


Slept all day?: Yup


Killed someone?:No...


Made out with a stranger?: No.


Had sex with a stranger?: Ew no!


Thought you're going crazy?: No.


Kissed the same sex?: Lmao Truth Or Dare...


Done anything sexual with the same sex?: Nope.


Been betrayed?:Yeah.


Had a dream that came true?: No.


Broken the law?: Haha, yes. Not bad ones. But a few.

☆A girl's poem☆
I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.
I can balance the check book,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,
at any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
admitting I'm lost.
I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies,
with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewellery's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest????
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK!?!☆

THE

HARDEST

THING

YOU

WILL

EVER

HAVE

TO

DO

IS

WATCH

THE

ONE

YOU

LOVE,

LOVE

SOMEONE

ELSE


She only sleeps when it's raining. And she screams. And her voice sounds strange and she says baby. It's 3am I must be lonely. Help me, she says baby. I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes.

)/)
( ..)
C(")(")



copy bunny into your profile to help him acheive world
domination.

By the way
I tried to say
I'll be there.

fill this out. & be completely honest.

WAT WOULD U DO IF I?
1. I MADE A MOVE ON U:
2. I KISSED U:
3. I LIVED NEXT DOOR 2 U:
4. I STARTED SMOKING:
5. I ASKED U ON A DATE:
6. I WAS HOSPITALIZED:
7. I RAN AWAY FROM HOME:
8. I GOT IN2 A FIGHT N U WEREN'T THERE:
9. I ASKED U 2 LEAVE:
10. I ASKED U OUT:

WAT DO U THINK ABOUT ME?
11. PERSONALITY:
12. EYES:
13. HAIR:
14. BODY:

WOULD U?
15. B MY FRIEND?
16. KEEP A SECRET IF I TOLD U 1?
17. HOLD MY HAND?
18. GO ON A DATE WIT ME?
19. KEEP IN TOUCH?
20. TRY N SOLVE MY PROBLEMS?
21. LOVE ME?
22. DATE ME?

HAVE U EVER?
23. LIED 2 MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?
24. WANTED 2 KISS ME?
25. WANTED 2 KILL ME?
26. KEPT SUMTHING IMPORTANT FROM ME?
27. WANTED 2 CUDDLE WIT ME?


AND MORE!
28. WHO R U?
29. R WE FRIENDS?
30. WEN N HOW DID WE MEET?
31. DESCRIBE ME IN ONE WORD:
32. WAT WAS UR FIRST IMPRESSION?
33. WAT REMINDS U OF ME?
34. IF U COULD GIVE ME ANYTHING WAT WOULD IT B?
35. HOW WELL DO U NO ME?
36. WEN'S DA LAST TIME U SAW ME?
37. EVER WANTED 2 TELL ME SUMTHING BUT COULDN'T?
38. R U GONNA POST THIS SO U CAN SEE WAT I SAY ABOUT U?

WOULD U?
30. KISS ME.
40. MAKE OUT WIT ME?
41. FALL ASLEEP ON DA BEACH WIT ME?
42. IF SOMETHING HAPPEND AND YOU COULD ONLY SAY ONE LAST THING TO ME WHAT WOULD YOU SAY

if u finish this...ill do it 4 you

Picture this:


It's your first time.
As you lie back your
muscles tighten.
You put him off for a while,
searching for an excuse,
but he refuses to be swayed as he
approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid
and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience,
but it's the first
time his finger has found
the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver;
your body tenses; but
he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes
and tells you to trust him -
he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you
and you open wider to give him;
more room for an easy entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,
but he slowly takes his
time, wanting to cause
you as little pain as possible.
As he presses ;closer, going deeper,
you feel the tissue give way;
pain surges throughout
your body and you feel
the slight trickle of
blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned and
asks you if it's too painful.
Your eyes are filled with tears
but you shake your head and nod
for him to go on.
He begins going in and out
with skill but you are
now too numb to feel him within you.
after a few moments, you feel
something bursting within you and
he pulls it out of you, you lay panting,
glad to have it over.
He looks at you and smiling warmly,
tells you, with a chuckle;
that you have been his most stubborn
yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist.
After all, it was your first time to have
a tooth pulled.


What did you think i was talking about?!  PERV