~So don't you say goodbye to me..just turn your back away and leave..and if you're lucky I will be your last regret, your only friend..~
I lost a friend today. Not to death. Not to moving away. To a boy.
**Here. A little sympathy. For you to waste on me. I know you're faking it but that's okay.**
She said that I needed to grow up, and that she's learned from my experiences to be more mature.
^^We made the same mistakes. I took the fall for you. I hope you need this now. Cause I know I still do...^^
I have a job, and several responsibilite
((I dont wanna drag it out. Don't wanna bring you down. I never wanted it to end this way...))
I don't like growing up very well. I want to come home knowing I always have someone here to look up to. Knowing that I have someone here who cares. Sometimes I feel so alone...
Maybe someday I will see you again and you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend...
I haven't cried in a long time. I think I might need to do that. Usually this is something I would've cried over a long time ago.
(*I guess that this is over now. I guess its called a falling out. But every day i'm learning how to make it through this life i'm in...*)
I want to do something great. I want someone to be proud of me. I want someone to know my name, and not just because i'm a loser.
*~* You were strong and you believed. Everything's gonna be alright. Everything is gonna be alright. Everything is gonna be alright. Be strong believe*~*
I want to go to sleep, and wake up with everything being okay...
I love you all....
Goodnight....
Living A Lie
Dull and lonely
This place is just too fake
I'm living here
To take a fall
A learning experience
A know-it-all
I've been through a lot
Lived through these lies
Wasted my life
Letting it all pass me by
I've picked up the blade
Threw down the knife
Decided for myself
What's wrong and what's right
A post-murdered love
In visions unclear
A hatred within itself
To show someone you're there
Simple supernatural
In a contradicting hope
A world full of lives
And people who say no
A cliche love
In a perfect string of lonliness
An unconcious lie
Remember? I have to live with this...
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*
A Drunk Excuse For Love
I've cut out my dreams
Left myself alone
Taken a taxi to this place that they call home
You denied that oyu ever loved me
Said it wasn't true
But all that I could think about
Is how much I missed you
I ran out of excuses
Faded through your arms
Thought that I might lose it
I know love will do no harm
drink down that bottle
Get so drunk you can't stand
It'll give me another reason
To hold tight onto your hand
I surrender if you love me
Tell me if you dare
Break my heart in two
Just so I know you're there
Listen to the breathing
Of your soft well thought out lies
Tomorrow i'll be leaving
Please ignore these cries
I haven't forgotten you
So please don't forget me
But don't follow
It's your fault i'm leaving...
I'll be dreaming of you
Until I cry the tears away
Which flow into a river of emotion
I'm waiting for you here
And on my own
Because I know i'll love you forever
In a world where I thought nothing was right
I met you
And everything was okay
I loved you from the beginning
From when your green eyes shined through the clouds
And your smile tore the grey away
I couldn't help but smile too
I needed you there
And you were by my side
Even though you weren't right here
I knew that you were around
I can't feel your soft touch
But I know that it will be there
In some years from now
We'll be together
We'll lay by the ocean
Wondering about times of our past
Holding eachother close
In a reality that lasts
I think about you day and night
And when I think things are bad
I'll dream of you again
Just the thought of you makes me smile.
Everything about you is just as perfect as the day we met
And i'll be counting the days until I can see you
I'll be dreaming of the nights we'll spend together
I'll be dreaming of you...
No it doesn't rhyme. I'm not even sure if it should be in a poem format. But I just put every feeling that I have right now down. Enjoy.
~I'm lying to myself and this dagger's my excuse..~
I'm listening to Taking Back Sunday. Wishing I was at the game. So before I went to work, I had to take a very quick shower, because I had swimming for gym today, and I usually just take a shower when I get home, because it's the last period of the day. So my brother decides he's going to go stand in the bathroom, with the door shut and locked, so I can't get in so hopefully i'm late for work. And he finally gets out, and I take a shower, but then I need to go back in there to dry my hair, and he does the same thing. So then I just got really ticked off, and he finally got out. So I dryed my hair, and then I was straightening it so I could put it up, and mom got all ticked off because she had to do her hair so she could go out with friends. So then I was like whatever and just walked out, and then got in trouble for having an attitude. Then my sister FINALLY took me to work. And we got really freaking busy, and she yelled at me all night. And I was almost in tears, and now she's going to tell my mom that I was being snotty and not listening to her. Which when we're working together she shouldn't be like that, because it's a workplace. Not home. So then she told my dad that I was being like that. And then he came and picked me up, and told me the game was sold out. So I'd been waiting so long to go to this game, to see my friends and maybe relieve stress, and I couldn't even go to it. So then I just started crying. I wouldn't let my dad see though. I don't like when people see me cry.
Sometimes I wish all of my friends lived close. I'm tired of not having anyone here, sometimes. I mean..I have Nikki, I know. But I don't think she's home tonight. I'm pretty sure she went to the game, so I get to sit home and do nothing. Stryker lost, but still. I wanted to spend time with friends. Anyway...i'm gonna post a poem and then leave. I have contest tomorrow so I need sleep...later.
Invisible Recognition
I can see it in your eyes
I can read it on your face
A pain within that lies
Something nothing can replace
The tears are all held back
In a chamber sacred and scarce
Stuck in a reality
Where no one knew I was there
A life now forgotten
Walks an empty street
A lonely place where no one knows
That empty soul was me...
Don't forget to Be Fake
You're a fake and you flaunt it
With a painted on smile
All you really care about
Is what's in and out of style
You've relapsed into a wannabe
Lost your sense of personality
A liar behind a "rock n' roll" face
Just destined to get out of this place
You say you're meant for something more
So you've faded into your past
Cutting your dreams away
In a reality you know won't last
You've bled and hit the floor
And decided you want more
Your love didn't last
But you can't put that in the past
You pretend that no one cares
Just so you think someone is there
You think you've only got yourself
And no one else wants to listen
Too bad you haven't looked hard enough
To know what you've been missing
Your life has unwreathed
The ground fell beneath your feet
But we're standing right there watching
As you pretend to fall
You'll get it all
And then who will be laughing?
Some bleed to remind themselves
That they're still alive
But the blade is at your wrist
And you only want one try
Don't ignore the pain
And just push it to the side
Because the life you're living now
Just happens to be a lie...
~*Lengthy I know, but I like it.^.^ Weak in some parts, but I can work on it. Let me know what you think!!*~
Promise Me Your Life
A razor sharp promise
Hangs on a shiny metal blade
Just one more inch
And your problems will fade
Outside your window you see grey
Another perfect rainy day
A reminder that your life isn't worth much
And your cliches yell out "Good luck"
You're living in your "lonliness"
And everybody's gone
You pretend no one cares
And you don't know what went wrong
Tears and pain
You don't like this game
But everyone seems to notice
As fake tears blind you know
Things go in and out of focus
You're happy when they're looking
Always happy when they stare
What you don't know
Is that they're never really there...
~Another one. I hope you liked it!!o.O~
*~I can tell as you turn, I smell the sulfer so clear...Fire's a beautiful sound...~*
Everything's alright when you're around
Your breathing drops because you can't make a sound
You're noticing nothing at all
Just because it makes us fall
And the more I begin to love you
The more this makes things okay
I'll show you what to do
Please don't take this away
You'll wash away the memories
But keep some between us
Between lips
Where secrets keep the best
Where lies are lost
Under blankets of promises
And hopes that you'll stay
Please don't take this away
I'll jump bridges for you
Until our eyes fail to meet again
And the clouds cover the sun
Only to mean rain
To stick our tongues out
And catch the drops as they fall
Like catching tears as they slide
I'm high on our time together
And I know i'll always love you
Because I could love you forever....
I don't like this one very well, but there are some parts in that I can actually say im proud of...See ya:)
Hey cool...I didn't know there was a diary on here....dude this is hott!!!
Ohhhh man....