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| D20: 11 |
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04/05 05/06 06/07 07/08 08/09 09/10 10/11 11/12 12/13 13/14 14/15 15/16 16/17 17/18 18/19 19/20 20/21 | 9709 3870 3065 5676 4309 2879 5259 1697 0984 0756 0394 0177 0384 1677 0471 0285 0118 | 26.6 cpd 10.6 cpd 08.4 cpd 15.5 cpd 11.8 cpd 07.9 cpd 14.4 cpd 04.7 cpd 02.7 cpd 02.1 cpd 01.1 cpd 00.5 cpd 01.1 cpd 04.6 cpd 01.3 cpd 00.8 cpd 00.3 cpd | 09709 13579 16644 22320 26666 29545 34804 36501 37484 38240 38634 38839 39223 40900 41371 41656 41774 | 26.6 cpd/9709 cpy 18.6 cpd/6789 cpy 15.2 cpd/5548 cpy 15.3 cpd/5580 cpy 14.6 cpd/5333 cpy 13.5 cpd/4924 cpy 13.6 cpd/4972 cpy 12.5 cpd/4563 cpy 11.4 cpd/4165 cpy 10.5 cpd/3824 cpy 09.6 cpd/3512 cpy 08.9 cpd/3237 cpy 08.3 cpd/3017 cpy 08.0 cpd/2921 cpy 07.6 cpd/2758 cpy 07.1 cpd/2604 cpy 06.7 cpd/2457 cpy |
2020-03-17 [Mortified Penguin]: Necktie-towel?
2020-03-17 [Mortified Penguin]: Anyone die of Corona yet? I did.
2020-03-18 [Pied Crow]: Awww, you do pay attention!
2020-03-18 [Pied Crow]: Oh, Mort-bird... I, uh, I'm sorry for your loss.
2020-03-21 [Nuktae-tal]: I am renovating my parents basement and am allergic to the wood we are cutting... does that count as long as I panick about it enough?
2020-03-21 [Pied Crow]: Oh, Nick-the-Talon
2020-03-22 [Mortified Penguin]: I, on the other hand, refuse to apologize for your allargaes.
2020-03-25 [Paul Doyle]: I am stacking up on Quaker Oats ordered through Liberty Medical, packing on the pounds and growing in a walrus mustache so I can fight off the Diabeetus by watching Wilford Brimley movies.
2020-03-28 [Nuktae-tal]: Diabeetus!!
2020-03-29 [Rainbow Dragonflies]: O - . . . oats . . .
2020-04-05 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2020-04-06 [Paul Doyle]: Pump THIS. Pump it well. :p
2020-04-07 [Yuriona]: Pump the jam?
2020-04-14 [Pied Crow]: Oh, wait, l do have something to say. Strut a pump room!
2020-04-15 [Yuriona]: I have seriously doubts that Bob's Diner has been deemed an essential service. And I refuse to wear those masks. I picked one up and it screamed "AHHH! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"
2020-04-17 [Pied Crow]: Sounds like you need to treat your masks better.
2020-04-17 [Yuriona]: All I was trying to do was disinfect it.
2020-04-18 [Paul Doyle]: Oh, that's a mask? Silly me. I thought it was a long term-slow growing and highly localized fungal infestation.
*puts it on* *realizes it was originally a whisper-thin mask but is now a heavy fungus colony filled with spores that built up around the mask* *involuntarily inhales the spores*
*dies*
*rises again as a 1st Edition Advanced D&D Myconid*
2020-04-18 [Paul Doyle]: *has a special brew!* 
2020-04-18 [Pied Crow]: Oh? What ever shall that do?
2020-04-18 [Yuriona]: *holds out a cup for filling*
2020-04-23 [Nuktae-tal]: HEY! AS FOOD PREP YOU SHOULD BE WEARING THIS HAIR NET!!! *hold up grocery bag.*
2020-04-24 [Yuriona]: No thanks. I brought my own. *pulls out mildew covered shower cap & puts it on*
2020-04-27 [~~Butterfly Angel~~]: ghost mushroom :)
2020-05-03 [Mortified Penguin]: 
Aww yiss! Thrift stores are opening up again! Got me a Godziller for $3.
2020-05-03 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2020-05-03 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2020-05-03 [Mortified Penguin]: THERE. DAMN YOU, [Elftron], GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
2020-05-04 [Paul Doyle]: Shin Godzilla still looks like an upright ambulatory hunk of way overdone meat loaf, even in toy form.
2020-05-05 [Pied Crow]: I think Shin Godzilla has nice thighs.
2020-05-06 [Yuriona]: It kinda looks mummified.
2020-05-07 [Sheamus Finn]: I like my Godzilla medium rare this one looks well done
2020-05-07 [Nuktae-tal]: A little crispy in places though...
2020-05-07 [Paul Doyle]: I think next time we want to lay off the irradiated Kingsford barbecue lighter fluid, and stick with the regular stuff.
2020-05-07 [Mortified Penguin]: *a customer suddenly walks in!!*
2020-05-07 [Paul Doyle]: *irradiates the unknowing customer*
2020-05-08 [Draugur dauðans]: holy hell this is alive. I'm alive. How the hell. Also, I love that Godzilla. I just bought the box set of Showa Godzilla movies a few months ago.
2020-05-09 [Pied Crow]: Doyle, don't be so rude!
*gives customer a Scumlabs-spons
Five bits.
2020-05-10 [Nuktae-tal]: *opens trenchcoat to reveal Moths!!!* how are these bits?!?!?!
2020-05-10 [Paul Doyle]: furthermore, why are there moths ON the "bits"? O___o
2020-05-10 [Yuriona]: Because they're made of wool of course!
2020-05-11 [Nuktae-tal]: No silly. It's because they BITE!!! Muwahahahaha
2020-05-12 [Paul Doyle]: Are they made out of wood? Do they float?
2020-05-14 [Nuktae-tal]: They drown and die... jeez heartless!!
2020-05-16 [Paul Doyle]: On a three hour tour, a three hour tourrrr . . .
2020-05-16 [Pied Crow]: That's all it was meant to be, but... Aww, that poor ship.
2020-05-17 [Paul Doyle]: 
2020-05-25 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2020-05-25 [Nuktae-tal]: Interesting... not a spaghetti champion mask?
2020-05-25 [Yuriona]: I could have sworn those are what they use at fraternity beer chugging contests.
2020-05-28 [Particle Girl]: oh it's like. kinda active here?
2020-05-28 [Pied Crow]: Yeah...you could say that.
2020-05-28 [Yuriona]: It's only mostly dead, not all dead. If it was all dead there's only one thing you could do.
2020-05-29 [Paul Doyle]: It's a bit like Schrodinger's cat.
2020-05-30 [Mortified Penguin]: YOUR MOM IS MOSTLY DEAD.
2020-05-30 [Mortified Penguin]: Race war seems to have begun. *starts loading beans into his shotgun*
Those goddamn Inuits are finally going to get what they deserve.
2020-06-01 [Nuktae-tal]: If only America stopped treating people like they were special. *sigh*
2020-06-21 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2020-06-23 [Nuktae-tal]: *vomits*
2020-06-25 [Pied Crow]: I'm not cleaning that up.
2020-06-25 [Nuktae-tal]: Me either *goes on strike*
2020-06-26 Cuntface McGee: *pokes the vomit for I saw something move within, but it just turned out to be a cockroach that got int the way of the vomit*
2020-06-26 Cuntface McGee: Why is there a dead penguin in here?! *throws the penguin corpse into a fire I started in the middle of the diner*
2020-06-26 Cuntface McGee: Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
2020-06-26 Cuntface McGee: What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
2020-06-28 [Nuktae-tal]: Desperate....
2020-07-07 [Mortified Penguin]: *waits patiently in line to order*
2020-07-07 [Nuktae-tal]: *Bursts through the window* hello I am jonist Knoxhead and this is my life!
2020-07-08 [Pied Crow]: Mort-the-Bird, don't do that!
Nuked-the-Bird
2020-07-09 [Nuktae-tal]: *drops pants* I WANT PUDDING!!!
2020-07-09 [Pied Crow]: I see. Well, that's one order of pudding!
*waits for someone else to get it*
2020-07-09 [Nuktae-tal]: *pulls up pants and pulls shirt up over head and wraps it like a bad turban around head. Uses high pitched voice.* Salt and pepper for me please!
2020-07-09 [Paul Doyle]: ^^^^^Someone get capuchino for The Great Cornholio, STAT!
2020-07-10 [Pied Crow]: Hmmmmmm... I dunno. I'm still waiting on that pudding. Or for Mort-bird to make an order.
2020-07-11 [Mortified Penguin]: *continues staring at the menu*
2020-07-13 [Nuktae-tal]: *puts the penguin on my head* and a raisen for me! *orders using a very bad russian accent*
2020-07-13 [Pied Crow]: Hm. Would you like a raisin instead? I'm not aware of a raisen... Or, did you mean a Risen?
2020-07-23 [Mortified Penguin]: *eats the last box of off-brand raisens*
2020-07-23 [Mortified Penguin]: *spits out chunks of cardboard*
2020-07-28 [Pied Crow]: I'm not... Hmmm....... Okay, sure, I'll clean that up.
2020-08-06 [Mortified Penguin]: OH SHIT. The friscal year is almost over. Still need to update last year's numbers...
2020-08-07 [Nuktae-tal]: What?! Update?! No way! Down date!
2020-08-07 [Yuriona]: And add the "guard" badge to your house again. I see that was also on your to-do list.
2020-08-08 [Paul Doyle]: The friscal year got frisked off, all right.
2020-08-08 [Mortified Penguin]: DON'T MAKE ME USE MY "GUARD" POWERS TO BANISH YOU.
2020-08-08 [Stephen]: Oops, almost pressed the "Delete all comments" button on this page. 
2020-08-09 [Mortified Penguin]: You are the sixth worst janitor we've ever had. It's been years since you've even shown up to work. Even the cockroaches are covered with dust. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SERVE DUSTY COCKROACHES TO OUR CUSTOMERS? Though, I guess I could just label them "Dirt Spiced" and charge double... These morons will buy anything, they're insane...
*there aren't any customers*
*there aren't even any roaches*
Anyway, take those scones to those customers at table seven.
*there are only six tables*
*there are scones though, but they're covered in roaches*
2020-08-09 [Sagacious Turkey]: 
2020-08-09 [Paul Doyle]: *Doesn't see Mort's Guard function, but does see . . . gourds, sitting there in a cobweb-strewn corner collecting a film of dust, a once-vibrant display of earthy colorful charm that's now sad and forlorn like that can of New Coke from 1985 . . . and yet, could the gourds not be used for Mort's foul purposes?*
2020-08-09 [Mortified Penguin]: Don't touch my gourds, they aren't ripe yet.
2020-08-09 [Pied Crow]: Rooaar, Turkey-bird, ROOOOAAAARRRR!
2020-08-09 [Pied Crow]: Oops, I mean... Um, I cleaned up those bits of cardboard. I had to leave the chunks of cardboard, though. Those were trickier than l thought.
2020-08-09 [Yuriona]: Wet cardboard does have a tendency to think that its actually cement. I think the water dissolves its brain.
2020-08-10 [Paul Doyle]: *juggles the gourds*
2020-08-17 [Paul Doyle]: Uh oh, don't look now, but hornets have chewed up the leftover chunks of cardboard and used that to construct a humongous nest the size of a chandelier.
2020-08-20 [Mortified Penguin]: Don't touch my hornets, they aren't ripe yet.
2020-08-20 [Pied Crow]: Oh... So, I guess I should call off the strike from KM6?
2020-08-20 [Yuriona]: Nah. Its not like it'll hit anything.
2020-08-21 [Nuktae-tal]: MY CABBAGES!!!!
2020-08-21 [Paul Doyle]: Oh, sorry. My business partners and I came up with niche-audience virtual salad kits, and the cabbage was really needed to make the chopped salad kits crunchy. Here, maybe you can make good use with the gourds.
2020-08-22 [Mortified Penguin]: Hmm... Lotta chumps logging into their old accounts lately. Guess I better start another round of hardcore spamming.
2020-08-22 [Mortified Penguin]: Aw hell, [Sunrose] is alive again.
2020-08-22 [Yuriona]: 
2020-08-22 [Nuktae-tal]: ???? Another zombie outbreak?
2020-08-22 [Pied Crow]: This can only mean more revenue for your ecommenty! Uh, ecomonty?
2020-08-22 [Mortified Penguin]: The hell are you talking about? The word is "economy", geez. *goes back to eating [Stephen]'s brain*
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: 
2020-08-23 [Yuriona]: 
New menu item?
2020-08-23 [Sunrose]: Alive is not how I'd describe it :P
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: [Sunrose]'s house is not very alive.
(I just almost accidentally hit the Delete all comments button again. I wish that wasn't directly above the send message button. lol)
2020-08-23 [Nuktae-tal]: I never did do the forum thing here, only the wiki.
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: A lot of members never got into the forums here.
It's not a bad system, it's easier to follow replies and hold conversations because of how it works, but it's also kind of messy and confusing at first.
Also, since the forums are essentially a completely different part of the site and really have no relation to wikis (outside editing access) and nothing to do with houses, they're very easy to overlook / ignore. * shrug *
2020-08-23 [Sunrose]: Haven't had the time to revive it, yet!
I loved the forums! :D
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: Were you part of the junk forum crowd? xD
2020-08-23 [Sunrose]: What kind of question is that? :P
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: Hey, the junk forum crowd was (mostly) before my time being active here. :P
Ally and Viking are the junkies I know of..
2020-08-23 [Sunrose]: [All_Most PUNK] was actually THE junkie, he probably has the stats for most forumpostings written. At least he did at the time.. :P
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: If he did then, he probably still does... and wow, 74.4k written? That's insane. Haha. xD
Also, someone seems to be sending me on an escapade to old houses to remove outdated warnings.. 
2020-08-23 [Sunrose]: I'm trying to get that patroller badge...
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: I'm sure you're close. You have so many Guard report notes that I can't count how many were reports you filed and not just you being a dutiful Guard. 
2020-08-23 [Sunrose]: I think I own that statistic yes :P
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: Easily. I do not envy how much of your time must have went into Guardwork and dealing with people.
2020-08-23 [Sunrose]: Just look at my messaging-stat
2020-08-23 [Stephen]: 93k. That's a lotta auto messages and a lot of "stop ignoring the auto messages and behave" messages. xD
2020-08-23 [Sunrose]: Pretty much yep x)
2020-08-24 [Nuktae-tal]: Lmao!
2020-08-24 [Pied Crow]: Well, I'm certain no one here was responsible for any of that.
2020-08-24 [Sunrose]: Not at all haha =p
2020-08-24 [Mortified Penguin]: Misty probably was. She's been up to no good for dozens of decades now.
2020-08-25 [Yuriona]: Ugh, there you go again. Always blaming Misty for things that are perfectly explainable.
2020-08-25 [Mortified Penguin]: Misty was responsible for 9/11.
2020-08-25 [Mortified Penguin]: Misty also runs the Central Banks and Hollywood.
2020-08-25 [Nuktae-tal]: I can verify all those things are true.
2020-08-25 [Mortified Penguin]: And if that's not enough to convince you, look at this quote:
"Hi, I'm Misty and I brought down those towers! Also, Building 7. Can you believe people really thought Building 7 just fell on its own? It didn't. I, Misty, brought it down." - Misty
2020-08-25 [Yuriona]: And the Pentagon? What about that one?
2020-08-26 [Mortified Penguin]: The Pentagon doesn't actually exist, so Misty is clean on that one.
2020-08-26 [Paul Doyle]: To the tower---Rapunz
2020-08-27 [Sheamus Finn]: Was Misty the 2nd shooter on the grassy knoll?
2020-08-27 [Mortified Penguin]: Second and third.
2020-08-27 [Nuktae-tal]: I can verify that as well.
2020-08-28 [Alexi Ice]: Comment
2020-08-30 [Mortified Penguin]: It was allegedly that crow's birthday on Friday. In celebration, I'm going to go smoke copious amounts of crack in the back office and prepare friscal data.
2020-08-31 [Yuriona]: Only copious amounts? You're cutting back this year.
2020-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: THE FRISCAL YEAR IS OVER.
2020-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: THE FRISCAL YEAR IS OVER.
2020-08-31 [Mortified Penguin]: Dammit, Elftown. Get your shit together.
2020-09-01 [Nuktae-tal]: Happy new fiscal year!!
2020-09-02 [Pied Crow]: Happy new year!
2020-09-02 [Pied Crow]: Was on Friday? But, it didn't happen yet.
2020-09-02 [Mortified Penguin]: TOO BAD, I ALREADY SMOKED THE CRACK.
2020-09-03 [Sunrose]: As always..
2020-09-04 [Paul Doyle]: If you're going to San FranFriscal
Be sure to wear Bob's Diner in your hair
If you're going to San FranFriscal
You're gonna meet some fucked up people there . . .
https://www.yo
2020-09-22 [Pied Crow]: Uhh, l updated the countdowns and fixed that 'hide' tag not working. I think l got it right.
2020-09-23 [Yuriona]: Its definitely working better than it was. *nods sagely*
2020-09-24 [Paul Doyle]: The wonders of modern technology never cease to amaze :p
2020-10-04 Misty of Mystic Falls: Greetings peasants, the queen has come to grace you with her presence!
2020-10-04 Misty of Mystic Falls: Greetings peasants, the queen has come to grace you with her presence!
<img:https://i.pinimg.com/originals/39/f8/d7/39f8d737f866787f8babf2861c957376.jpg>
2020-10-05 [Nuktae-tal]: Sup!
2020-10-05 [Pied Crow]: The Misty? The Mystic? The Legend?!
2020-10-05 [Yuriona]: Is it the real Misty or just another misty-wanna-be
2020-10-06 [Nuktae-tal]: Wanna be! I bet my last toenail on it!
2020-10-09 [Mortified Penguin]: MISTY?! *unsheathes his harpoon*
Hey, buddy, I'll sell ya this sweet harpoon for fifty bucks. It's sharp enough to ritually slaughter over 500 cats.
2020-10-27 [Mackenzie]: That's a pretty good deal for such a sharp harpoon. What's the catch?
2020-10-27 [Yuriona]: It will only ritually slaughter over 500 cats.
2020-10-27 [Pied Crow]: The cats are the catch.
2020-10-28 [Paul Doyle]: If the cats are the catch, then who is the Catcher . . . ? *Holden Caulfield from "The Catcher In the Rye" walks in looking surly and 1940s-rebellio
2020-10-29 [Mortified Penguin]: PHONY! YOU'RE NOT REAL CAULIFLOWER! *hurls Holden into the casserole cauldron*
2020-10-30 [Paul Doyle]: *golf clap*
2020-10-31 [Pied Crow]: *crow clap*
2020-10-31 [Yuriona]: thunder clap?
2020-11-01 [Paul Doyle]: butt clap?
2020-11-02 [Mortified Penguin]: Gonorrhea.
2020-11-02 [Sheamus Finn]: Herpes!
2020-11-02 [Pied Crow]: Harpies?!
2020-11-02 [Paul Doyle]: -5 Harpsichord of Herpes?
2020-11-03 [Sheamus Finn]: +2 tuba of chlamydia
2020-11-03 [Nuktae-tal]: *waves directing baton*
2020-11-03 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2020-11-03 [Mortified Penguin]: JEB IS GONNA MAKE A COMEBACK TODAY.
2020-11-03 [Paul Doyle]: Tippecanoe and Tyler, too.
2020-11-08 [Mortified Penguin]: 
2020-11-08 [Mortified Penguin]: Betting odds lookin' pretty good if anyone wants to make a lot of money.
2020-11-12 [Mortified Penguin]: *counts the money in the register*
Yup, both units of money are still in here.
*closes register*
2020-11-12 [Mortified Penguin]: Hmm... Someone hasn't updated the Status Report in two years...
2020-11-12 [Mortified Penguin]: Pretty sure that was Crow's responsibility
2020-11-13 [Yuriona]: But you smoked the crack already.
2020-11-14 [Pied Crow]: Nuh-uh! I fixed the countdowns, remember?!
I mean, uh... That's not true, I fixed the countdowns last month, boss.
2020-11-15 [Paul Doyle]: Pepe's on skid row now, after losing that bet. And nobody cares.
2020-11-24 [Mortified Penguin]: PEPE HASN'T LOST NOTHIN'. *angrily eats a frog leg*
2020-11-24 [Mortified Penguin]: *the Frenchman cries in pain*
2020-12-14 [Mortified Penguin]: *recounts the money in the register*
2020-12-15 [Pied Crow]: *recounts the monkey in the register*
2020-12-16 [Paul Doyle]: *sends in Peter Gabriel to shock the monkey*
2020-12-20 [Yuriona]: No one anticipates Peter Gabriel.
2020-12-20 [Sheamus Finn]: That poor monkey....
2020-12-20 [Paul Doyle]: Here's the kicker: after Peter Gabriel was done, Spinal Tap spanked the monkey.
Number of comments: 42309
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